Lizzie: As you may be able to tell, I was at a party last night,
specifically the party thrown by Bing Lee who was manipulated into doing so
by my deceptively deceptive baby sister Lydia.
And, well I have to admit the party was pretty fun, and pretty crazy.
it wasn't crazy in the "keg
stand whoa I got a beer!" type of way, but
more in the private caterers, swan ice sculptures, and I'm
sorry, what exactly is osso buco type of way?
It was both awesome and kind of sensory overload.
And I think I lost my favorite necklace.
But, through all the craziness, the biggest thing to note is not what was
left at Bing Lee's, but whom.
My name is Lizzie Bennet, and Jane didn't come home last night.
Written by: Bernie Su
I know what you're thinking.
Looks like somebody may have gotten Binged last night.
But seriously? No.
No, no, no!
All of you get your dirty minds out of the gutter.
This is Jane Bennet we're talking about here.
If they weren't Binging,
what were they doing all night? Well, I'm going to tell you.
Charlotte: Wait, wait, how are
you doing a reenactment of something that you didn't even witness?
Lizzie: Are we not lifelong scholars of the many moods of Jane Bennet? Your words.
Charlotte: I mean how do you know that they didn't -
Lizzie: Bing?
Charlotte: Okay, really? That needs to stop.
Charlotte: So, did you enjoy the party tonight?
Lizzie: Oh yes, especially the ice sculptures. Swans are so beautiful.
Charlotte: They are the second most beautiful creatures I have ever laid my eyes upon.
But, splendid! I am happy that you're happy. You're happy, right?
Lizzie: Oh, very much so. Everything is so perfect and
wonderful, it's as if the clouds parted for the stars.
Don't they seem especially bright?
Charlotte: The stars are brighter
every night that you stand beneath them.
Lizzie: Not in the script.
Charlotte: But that's totally what he did, right?
Lizzie: I don't know. I wasn't there!
Yeah, that was probably no more than 80% accurate.
Okay, 50.
But seriously, I got a text from Jane this morning.
"Stayed up all night with Bing. Just talked.
It was so perfect. Having breakfast with him, details later. Smiley face."
Aren't they so cute? I can't wait to hear all about it later.
But you know what this means, right? Staying up all night and just talking.
That is literally in Jane's words, "perfect."
Only the deepest love should lead to marriage. Seriously, remember that.
Which is probably why Jane will live in a mansion and I will end up a spinster.
Oh my god, I'm gonna lose Jane.
I mean, I'm not gonna
lose her but she's going to leave me and go live with Bing.
And then Caroline will make her eat only organic produce!
At least you won't be forcing down green bean gelatin, am I right?
Okay I'm overreacting!
This situation could obviously be a lot worse.
Lydia: What up sis? Hey are you okay?
I heard yelling and general "Lizzie's freaking out over something ridiculous" noises.
Lizzie: Just contemplating the loss of my beloved sister to 2.5 adorable babies and macro-biotic sister-in-law.
Lydia: Well, you'll always still have me, right?
Lizzie: Oh, lucky me, I get to keep the boy-crazy, completely irresponsible, substance abuser.
Lydia: Yeah. Anyway, just wanna see how you're doing after last night.
Didn't we have so much fun?
Lizzie: Yes, that was fun.
Lydia: And, aren't you glad that I made Mr. Bing Lee throw that totally awesome party?
Lizzie: I'll admit despite your calculated manipulation that it was probably for the best.
Lydia: And aren't you so happy that Jane got Binged last night?!
Lizzie: Okay, yeah, that does need to stop.
Lydia: So, no regrets, right?
Lizzie: Actually, I do have one.
Lydia: I bet I know how to make it better!
Lizzie: I'm totally gonna regret this, huh?
Lydia: Nope, you're gonna love it. Hold out your hand.
You left it in Caroline's bathroom.
Lizzie: Thank you!
Lydia: You're very welcome, Lizzie Bennet.
Lizzie: What have you done with my baby sister?
Lydia: I love you sis.
What? Don't you want more viewers?
Captioning by: Taylor Brogan