Hi, it's Caroline, career coach and mentor,
and in this video, I want to talk
about the sensitive subject on how to recover
after a traumatic incident at work.
And when I say a traumatic incident
because it's the whole wide spectrum,
I mean when you were let go, being pushed out,
being performance managed out,
or anything like that,
or having to experience a toxic environment,
being bullied or anything like that.
Because basically that affects your confidence
and it's so difficult to rebuild that.
So there is one critical part that I want
to share with you so you are able
to have those tools with you
and to start building that confidence back up
because you will need it.
Because people are attracted to people
that radiate confidence.
So whether that is in interviews,
whether that is in a networking event,
whether this is internally,
how you want to raise your profile to get promoted.
So the one critical part and the key to success to this
is to detach yourself emotionally.
Now this is really very, very difficult.
And I think about a dozen of my clients
that have experienced really something traumatic
at work and the problem is
that you go over and over and over
in your head about that specific situation.
But it's doing nobody any good
and the person that suffers the most is yourself.
So the first point that I want to make,
or the first step that you have to take,
is actually to acknowledge that what is is
and what happened happened.
There is nothing you can do or argue
that will change that situation.
So it's actually just acknowledging
that going around in circles,
that the only person that is suffering from that is you.
The second thing that I want you to do
is actually start detaching yourself.
And this is really the hardest part of all
because emotionally detaching yourself
is almost like - feels like impossible.
And the reason why it feels impossible
is often you'd made a compromise.
You compromised on your family time,
you compromised on your friends time,
and you compromised on your personal care, your time.
So you compromised on your boundaries often
to do something for your job,
for this company,
for anybody within your work environment
and then you feel stabbed in the back
and pushed in the gut
and you think like oh my god
this is the biggest disappointment.
You feel like you're being let down
and in response and reaction to that
you feel angry because that is unjust.
So to counteract that,
the thing that you need to do
is to detach yourself.
And this is a really good strategy to already do
in any new environment that you go into.
And detaching yourself doesn't mean
that you have to be cold-blooded
and that you don't have to engage
with your colleagues or anybody else
or not being social in your company.
It means that you have to understand that things happen
and that decisions are made
and whether you agree with them or not
that's irrelevant.
It's about you emotionally protecting yourself
and being detached from the outcome.
You do your best to show up, you serve,
you really contribute to the best of your ability,
but you do not compromise on your own integrity
and on your own boundaries.
And that's why it's so important that there's a third step
to have your boundaries and to not compromise on them.
So you have your family time,
have your friends time,
have your personal care,
and have your personal boundaries.
Because that is at the end what will stay with you.
Not the job, not your career, not anybody, but you.
You have to look after yourself first
and that's why it's so hard to detach yourself sometimes
is when you're so emotionally involved
because you compromised.
So don't compromise.
Detach yourself from those situations
and like I said, it doesn't mean that you don't have
to be fully engaged and fully motivated.
It means that emotionally you protect yourself
and that you think of you, and your boundaries,
and your integrity first.
And that you work with that within the work environment.
And I hope this helps.
If you want to have a chat
about what happened to you
and also to really understand
and see how you can move forward with that.
Because that's another important part,
letting go and actually having that confidence back,
after detaching yourself,
to actually put yourself out there.
So I help people, senior managers,
to actually take the next step
and find the six figure leadership role
but I want to do that
where they don't compromise on anything,
where they get paid what they're worth
and where they have a job
where they feel fulfilled and challenged.
So if this interests you,
have a chat with me.
I will pop a link below this video
so you can book a call.
On the call, it's not going to be a sales call.
This is going to be just a plain conversation
between you and I.
And this is going to be about where you're at,
where you want to be,
what the gap is,
and how we can fast track closing that gap.
What the strategy would be to get you
from point A to point B.
And if you want my help after our chat,
that is perfectly fine,
but I can promise you if you don't want,
that is also fine.
You will leave with a lot of insight
that you need in terms of moving your career forward.
So I hope you found this video inspiring
and I will see you in the next one.
Bye!