- HELLO.
TODAY, WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THE LEGEND OF BILLY THE KID.
DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ANOTHER ONE?
- NO. - HELLO--
- NO. NO, WE'RE GOOD. - OH, ALL RIGHT.
- WE'RE GOOD.
- HE WAS BORN WILLIAM MCCARTY,
KNOWN AS BILLY THE KID.
AS AN ADOLESCENT, HE STOLE CHEESE,
AND THEN HE GOT ARRESTED.
AND HE ESCAPED OUT OF AN OUTHOUSE.
THAT'S WHEN HE FELT LIKE HE WAS AN OUTLAW.
YOU KNOW, THESE-- THESE RANCH OWNERS
AND THESE LAND OWNERS AND THESE SHERIFFS
WERE TAKING WATER AND LAND AND MONEY
FROM THE INDIANS, THE MEXICANS.
AND BILLY THE KID IS THE KIND OF GUY
THAT WOULD BE LIKE, [bleep] YOU.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO THAT.
I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU AND KILL YOUR PEOPLE...
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM. BOOM, BOOM.
AND YOUR SHERIFFS, MAYBE.
PEW, PEW, PEW.
HE WAS LOVED BY THE HISPANIC COMMUNITY,
AND HE APPARENTLY HAD
A LOT OF LATINA WOMEN THAT LOVED HIM.
BUT, UH-- [laughs]
- DID HE DATE ANY?
- OH, A LOT OF 'EM.
HE LOVED LATINA WOMEN.
THERE WAS THESE STORIES WHERE HE KILLED
THESE PEOPLE, LIKE, UH, JOE GRANT,
WHO WAS THE LOCAL DRUNK, APPARENTLY, AT THIS BAR.
AND BILLY THE KID WAS SITTING THERE
AND HE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE HIM.
HE SAID, IF I-- IF I MET BILLY THE KID,
I WOULD KILL HIM IN COLD BLOOD.
I'D MURDER HIM.
AND HE WAS LIKE, OKAY.
AND SO BILLY THE KID, HE SAID,
MAN, I LOVE YOUR IVORY HANDLE.
AND HE TURNED IT TO WHERE THERE WAS
ONE BLANK ON THAT REVOLVER.
AND HE SAID, HEY, JOE GRANT, I'M BILLY THE KID.
[ominous music]
OH, REALLY? AND HE WALKED OUT.
AND YOU HEAR-- [click]
AND THEN BILLY THE KID TURNED AROUND
AND SHOT THAT DUDE IN THE CHIN.
[chuckles] IN THE CHIN.
I MEAN, WELL, YOU'RE AN ASS[bleep].
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.
[playing piano]
AND WHAT'S CRAZY ABOUT BILLY THE KID,
HE COULD SING IN A WAY THAT NO ONE ELSE COULD SING.
[singing poorly]
LET'S--TRY THAT.
[gibberish]
[laughs]
[mumbling]
HEY, BITCH!
[laughs]
I'M, LIKE, A BITCH!
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
[laughs]
PAT GARRETT WAS THE SHERIFF AND SAID,
MY--MY ONE GOAL IS TO GET--
I'M GONNA GET BILLY THE KID.
AND HE HUNTED DOWN BILLY THE KID.
SO THEY FOUND HIM IN A FARMHOUSE,
AND THEY HAD THE WHOLE PLACE SURROUNDED.
ONE GUY CAME OUT AND HE DECIDED TO GO FEED THE HORSE,
AND THEY SHOT HIM DOWN
AND THOUGHT THAT IT WAS BILLY THE KID.
AND THEY WERE LIKE, WE GOT BILLY THE KID, WE GOT HIM.
AND THEN THEY REALIZED THAT IT WASN'T HIM.
SO THEN THEY REALIZED IT WASN'T HIM.
AND PAT GARRETT SAID, WELL, SHOOT THE HORSE DOWN.
SHOOT THE HORSE DOWN.
THERE'S NO WINDOWS. THERE'S NO EXIT.
AND SO THEY SHOT THE HORSE DOWN.
AND THEY PUT THE HORSE, THE DEAD HORSE,
IN FRONT OF THE EXIT.
AND THEY PUT HIM IN FRONT OF THE EXIT
AND NO ONE ELSE COULD GET OUT.
BILLY THE KID, THEY FOUND HIM IN A FARMHOUSE
AND THEY SURROUNDED HIM,
AND THEY STARTED COOKING BREAKFAST.
AND THEY SAID, HEY, BILLY, HEY.
COME HAVE BREAKFAST WITH US.
AND BILLY SAID, YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE'S [bleep] US, SO NO, WE'RE NOT GONNA DO THAT.
AND THEY WERE LIKE, OKAY.
SO THEY KEPT COOKING BREAKFAST.
AND THERE WAS BREAKFAST FOR A LONG TIME.
AND THEN BILLY CAME OUT AND SAID, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THERE'S NO WAY-- THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE OUT.
SO WE'RE GONNA KEEP COOKING BREAKFAST.
AND BILLY CAME OUT AND SAID,
YOU KNOW, THERE'S NO WAY ELSE OUT.
SO THEY ALL HAD BREAKFAST TOGETHER
AND BILLY GOT ARRESTED.
WELL, BILLY THE KID SHOOTS BOTH OF THE PRISON GUARDS
AND ESCAPES FROM JAIL.
HE SAID, GO TO HELL, BITCHES.
GO TO HELL.
WELL, GO TO HELL.
THREE MONTHS LATER, PAT GARRETT FINDS
ONE OF HIS ACCOMPLICES AND THEY GO TO HIS HOUSE.
AND BILLY COMES IN AT MIDNIGHT WITH A KNIFE.
NO ONE KNOWS WHO ANYONE IS.
AND BILLY SAYS-- [clears throat]
QUIEN ES?
WHICH MEANS, "WHO IS IT? WHO IS IT?"
QUIEN ES?
WHO IS IT? WHO IS IT?
AND PAT GARRETT RECOGNIZES BILLY'S VOICE
'CAUSE THEY KNEW EACH OTHER FROM BACK IN THE DAY,
AND HE SHOOTS HIM THREE TIMES.
SHOOTS HIM TWICE IN THE CHEST AND THEN HE MISSES ONCE.
IT HITS THE--YOU KNOW, ABOVE THE FIREPLACE.
AND HE WAS LIKE, HELP ME.
HELP.
PAT GARRETT SHOT BILLY THE KID.
I-I WANNA SAY SOMETHING ABOUT BILLY.
THIS IS WHAT BILLY WAS. THIS IS WHAT BILLY WAS.
[playing guitar poorly]
♪ BILLY THE KID ♪
♪ HE WAS AN OUTLAW ♪
♪ AND HE SHOT JOE GRANT ♪
♪ WELL, HE SHOT HIM IN THE JAW ♪
♪ WELL, BILLY'S IN A FARMHOUSE ♪
♪ BUT THEY KILLED THE HORSE INSTEAD ♪
♪ BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE ♪
♪ BILLY THE KID ♪
♪ WAS SHOT IN THE DARK ♪
[laughs]
♪ IT'S SO DRAMATIC ♪
AND THAT'S BILLY THE [bleep] KID.
I DON'T KNOW.
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GIVE IT UP, MAN.
THAT WAS [bleep] AWESOME. [applause]
- THERE YOU GO, BILLY THE KID.