Welcome to another episode of-
Excuse me, but what about women in the third world?
You only think that because you're ugly.
But there ARE black Republicans!
I can't be racist! I have a good friend, Jose!
Reverse racism!
Excuse me, but-
Uuuugggh-
Excuse me -- sorry to interrupt but can I take over
the conversation and make you give me a complete history of it
even though I can and should do a basic level of research before
inserting myself into the discussion and making you do unpaid
intellectual labor that I will dismiss at the end by saying,
"well, that's how you see it?"
Here we go again!
During this season of The FREQ Show,
we've walked you through some key terms that you may have
come across more and more as you scan social media or watch the news.
But their meanings may be a bit unfamiliar to you.
We've talked misogyny and patriarchy; white supremacy, intersectionality, and privilege.
These are incredibly important tools for understanding how our world works
and how we understand ourselves and others.
But here's the thing:
there are a lot of people invested in keeping you in the dark about
how these systems of power operate.
They don't want you to be aware of how misogyny limits women;
or how white supremacy undergirds our entire society,
from the schools we can attend to the ways we style our hair.
Or, why it's vital to bring an intersectional awareness to our social justice work.
There are large and small,
overt and covert, explicit and implicit ways of diverting your attention
from these important conversations,
and steering them away from those difficult lines that force us to
anknowledge our own complicity in upholding various systems of inequality.
And make no mistake: many of these diversionary tactics are incredibly effective.
Maybe not effective at countering your arguments, but very effective
at making you rage-close all 27 Buzzfeed tabs open on your laptop
and stress eat a bunch of burritos.
Because in the end, that's all they really have to do:
derail the conversation.
The people who use them aren't actually interested in offering
thoughtful or factual counterarguments -- and they sure as hell
don't want to argue in good faith.
They see you cruising down the knowledge superhighway,
and all they need to do is...yank the steering wheel, just a little bit.
I've been doing this work for a decade,
and trust me, I'v encountered every single derailing tactic there is.
In fact, right now, there's a crowd of devil's advocates who are leering
over their keyboards in the race to be the first person to let me know
that we've once again gotten things so, so wrong.
And I guarantee you, 95% of them will use one of these tried-and-true
derailing tactics to "shut me down."
But the thing is, when you know what's coming.
you can take appropriate action.
And by "appropriate action," we mean ignore them!
Trying to argue with a derailer online is like punching a sand dune:
you can do it if you want to, but your arms will get tired
and there's absolutely no point.
To illustrate some of the worst of the worst derailing tactics,
I'd like to introduce you to this stuffed seal I bought
specifically so that I would have to take my aggression out on
when the Chads of the world infest my mentions.
Every so often, Chads are overcome with the need to tell black people
Abraham Lincoln was a Republican,
and also, their girlfriends actually like looking at sexualized video game characters
so they can't be sexist!
And isn't affirmative action just reverse racism?!
Wait, wait, wait, wait wait!
You're going too fast.
Let's back up a bit.
It's actually cool that you have that stuffed seal,
because it allows me to introduce one of the most egregious derailing tactics.
This one cloaks itself in a disingenuous desire to be educated.
Thanks to artist, David Malki, in his hilarious webcomic Wondermark,
we've got a name for this trollish behavior: sealioning.
Say you're having a back and forth with one of your followers on Twitter
about anti-trans reporting in The Atlantic--
[quiet conversation]
[sealion] Wait! Can you explain to me exactly what it means
to be anti-trans??
So, you're trying to have a conversation with your followers about
how a recent article is full of bias--
[sealion]--I guess I just need you to explain trans identity at a 101 level
for me and why this piece is full of bias; I'm just trying to learn!
Uh, ok, ok. Let's start with--
[sealion] I also would like to see some EVIDENCE of this anti-trans bias you claim!
I'm trying to --
[sealion] I won't accept your sources or your own lived experience
but I demand that you cater to me right now!
I have done none of the basic research on this issue that I am suddenly
so consumed with discussing with you right now!
Oh my God! Shut up!
[sealion] Hey! There's no need to get annoyed.
I'm just trying to have a reasonable exchange of ideas.
You see? Sealions just want to understand.
Come on! If this idea were really important to you,
you would drop everything in your life and explain it to their satisfaction
using the tone, language, and resources they deem legitimate.
Right?!
Sealions demand your intellectual and emotional labor,
but most importantly, they just want your attention.
They will never, ever be satisfied.
And they are uninterested in doing the bare minimum of work themselves.
Beware the sealion.
Definitely.
Because when the sealion doesn't get his way --
when any derailer figures out that they can't suck all the air out of the room,
they will inevitably resort to another failsafe tactic: tone policing.
Tone cops like to huff that, if only progressives would be more polite,
we could persuade more people to our side.
Guess what?
If you can't be convinced that US immigration policies separating children from parents
is inhumane;
that anti-trans legislation leads to violent, state-sanctioned death;
that calling immigrants "vermin" might just be beyond the pale --
without someone saying it with a string of emojis and using soothing spa music,
you might not actually be interested in being convinced.
When sealioning and tone policing don't work,
harassers often duck behind what's called "concern trolling."
If you're a self-identified feminist, you've definitely been hit with this one.
In the Middle Earth of the concern troll,
people are only allowed to care about one issue at a time.
All issues are discrete and are never interconnected.
And there's an objective scale of human misery that determines how much any woman,
and they mean white, western women, can point out injustice.
For example, if you point out that say, it would be cool if we gave Latina women a shot
at directing Hollywood blockbuster movies,
ol' Oog the Concern Troll will hang glide into the conversation to remind you
that girls in Pakistan can't even attend school so shut up, princess!
But in an absolutely shocking twist,
it turns out that these guys don't actually care about Pakistani girls
who want an education.
They don't know anything about the issue, and
certainly aren't working to address it.
As far as these professional "But What About the Hijab?!" activists are concerned,
women in other parts of the world have it worse than western women,
so western women aren't allowed to point out any inequality or oppression
in their own lives!
The other name I have for this derailing tactic is
"I have a vague memory about some kidnapped Nigerian girls so why are you
so concerned with whether American women earn as much as their male counterparts."
It's a long title but we think it really captures the approach.
None of these guys is advocating that we actually turn
our collective attention to the plight of vulnerable women in other societies.
They just find it useful to point the finger elsewhere --
usually, at brown men!
Let's be honest: many of these dudes would probably vote today
to issue a red handmaiden's robe to every woman in America.
But we're supposed to believe they're champions of women's rights in rural Afghanistan?
This type of concern troll refuses to acknowledge that most feminists are well aware
that misogynist behaviors and beliefs manifest themselves in a whole range of
distinct cultural expressions.
We also know that it's important that we recognize our own privilege
when it comes to the world at large.
But that's not what these cave-- sorry, concern -- trolls care about.
They'e not calling for a more nuanced and intersectional analysis
of global feminist issues.
They're blowing hot air.
And unfortunately, that's not the only species of concern troll out there.
Nor is it necessarily the most prevalent.
There's the also the kind who like to offer their version of constructive criticism.
They cloak their comments under the guise of being helpful.
See, they just want to point the million ways that you're
undercutting your position by doing something they've identified as being
harmful to your cause!
It might be the way you frame an argument.
It might be the emotion you express when talking about an issue
that has affected you personally.
It might just be that you don't respond to his overwhelming brilliance
with the urgency and breadth he thinks he deserves.
This kind of Chad will swear up and down that he's on your side --
that he just wants to offer you his invaluable estimation of
where and how you're failing to present yourself as a legitimate authority.
He wants you to think that this is done for your benefit.
But it's really not.
It's about tearing you down,
and making himself look objective, responsible, and smarter than you
by expressing his concern for your perceived failings.
He just wants other people to take you seriously, ok?
Sealioning, tone policing, and concern trolling are by no means
the only type of derailment tactics out there.
There's also gish galloping and gaslighting;
devil's advocacy and dogpiling;
retaliation and the rhetorical-hypothetical infinity loop--
and really, a million other crappy ways to shut down the conversations
that people of color, trans folks, the disabled, the undocumented, women
and gender non-conforming folks are trying to have about their lives
and the issues that concern them.
But whether it's concern trolling, gaslighting, or some new fresh hell,
it's meant to distract you from mobilizing against unjust structures of power
and the people who benefit from them.
Hell, sometimes they just want to interrupt you to tell you why you were so wrong
to like the last Star Wars movie.
You don't have to engage with derailers.
Their arguments are intellectually bankrupt at their core
and emotionally manipulative by design.
Block, mute, ignore and keep talking about the things that are important to you,
We hope you found this video useful!
And hey: if you're an educator who's using our work in your classroom,
we'd love to connect with you!