i am a drug addict alcoholic compulsive
gambler slash liar
uh for those of you who are new tonight
i know that uh this is not your year
ah
[Applause]
if that'll make you happy i will stop
drinking and then i would tell myself
tonight i will not get wasted
and then something would happen
or nothing would happen and uh
i'd get that feeling and then you all
know what that feeling is
when your skin is screaming and your
hands are
shaking and your stomach feels like it
wants to jump
through your throat and you know that if
anyone
had a clue how wrong it felt to be sober
they wouldn't dream of asking you to
stay that way
they would say oh geez i didn't know
here you know
it's it's it's okay for you you do that
mound of cocaine
have a drink have have 20 drinks
whatever
whatever you need to do to feel like a
normal human being
you do it and boy i did it
i drank and i snorted and drank and
snorted and
drank and snorted i did this day after
day after day after night
after night and i uh didn't care about
the consequences because i knew that
they
couldn't be half as bad as not music
oh god and then
one night something happened you know
you're screwed
i woke up i woke up on a sidewalk
and i had no idea where i was i couldn't
have told you the city i was in
and my head was pounding and i looked
down and my
shirt is covered in blood and as i'm
flying there wondering what happens next
i heard a voice and it said
man this is not a way to live
this is a way to die
can i help you eddie boom checking in
can't bring a girl into treatment with
you eddie
i wasn't gonna keep her
[Music]