[cheery synth music]
[Krysta] -Yes. Sorry, Artemis, go back to the hunt, but,
you're not moving on. [Krysta laughs]
[Kit] -Like Hades himself, the bracket don't care.
[male VO] -Daaah! [foreboding music]
[female VO] -You make me mad, I'll hunt you like a stag.
You heard of those?
[music fades]
[male laughs]
[Krysta gasps]
[Krysta] -Well, here we are again.
Welcome back to Nintendo Minute.
[Kit] -And it's time for another round.
[Krysta] -Our next matchup is Eurydice and Aphrodite.
[sinister guitar]
[Greg] -And, A-, you know, Aphrodite. [grungy rock music]
How, how can one ultimately compete with Aphrodite who is,
who is the, the goddess of beauty.
That is her entire thing.
Um, maybe bonus points go, uh, for attire where, uh,
Aphrodite wouldn't receive any of those bonus points. [everyone laughing]
Um, even still, uh, I, I, I have Aphrodite, uh, as a five,
uh, because I, I think she is kind of
the ultimate version of, uh, beauty is
in the eye of the beholder and for all I know, probably,
she appears differently to, to different people,
uh, just to kind of be their own conception of what the
[Greg] -the kind of pinnacle of beauty even is.
I have Eurydice, uh, as a four.
Um, though, again it's really tough
'cause Eurydice is, um, is really striking.
Uh, I, I, I'm really happy that we, uh,
got to depict her as an Oak Nymph, which she is.
So, so I think she's, like, one of the most,
uh, kind of unique characters, um, in the game and she's super cool.
But she died of a snake bite, so my, my mortal rule applies,
and, and, uh, there's a, there's a ceiling, uh,
to just how, uh, attractive mortals can be relative to gods.
So, so, that's, that's how I made the,
that was the deciding me on her.
[Krysta]-I like the consistency. [Kit] -It's gonna be my new personal slogan.
[Krysta] -Yeah. [Kit] -There's just a limit on how attractive mortals can be.
Sorry. [Krysta] -You're losing points just by being
flesh and blood. Sorry.
[Greg] -More like there's, uh, extra, extra room if you're a god.
[Krysta] -Um, I- [Kit] -So I think, I think this might be the matchup
where things get shaken up a little bit. [Krysta] -Oh, oh.
[Kit] -Uh, I gave Aphrodite a three.
[Krysta gasps] [Kit] -And, uh, I gave Eurydice a five.
Now, I'll admit
Eurydice is not a character that I knew a lot about going in
so I really appreciated the back story that you just shared there, but I,
but I think you kind of nailed it,
of a character that didn't have a lot of built in backstory,
so much liberty can be taken with how to interpret that. And, you know, just the,
the, the, the tree, like, uh, stuff coming out of her head
really, really stood out to me and it wasn't even something that I noticed,
I think the first time that I saw her.
It was when I came back and I looked closer, I was like,
"Wow, there's a lot going on here."
And Aphrodite, she's a very nice lady but,
na-, I mean, that's, that's what it is. [Krysta laughing]
[Krysta] -So, it's more of, like, an in-your-face
kind of beauty, versus a more subdued, more interesting type of beauty.
Which, actually is the reason why I gave Aphrodite a four
and Eurydice a five.
Um, sure, Aphrodite is, you know, everyone knows.
She's, she's beautiful
but Eurydice is, just such, a cool version of beauty.
You know, I, I love the, um, the part where, um,
they talk about her, you know, her hair. Which is basically,
like, a tree and how, as the seasons change, it changes.
The leaves on her hair changes as well,
that's such a cool thing. That's such a beautiful, cool thing to have.
So, I think that means Eurydice moves on.
[Aphrodite] -The thing to know about this family, dearest,
is that, each of us, we have our little quirks.
[Krysta] -Um, all right. We're getting through this guys.
Uh, Athena and Hypnos is next. [grungy rock music]
[music briefly intensifies]
[Greg] -Yeah. Well, I'm gonna, um,-- [Krysta] -Yeah.
[Kit] -No.
[Greg] -Hypnos, I'm gonna, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna do Hypnos wrong 'cause I, I like,
Hypnos just spends the whole game,
uh, maybe inadvertently, but, just, just giving you,
just giving poor Zagreus trash for, for stuff he already knows.
So, so time for me to take a little bit of personal revenge
on Hypnos myself and, and strike him with a two for best--
[Kit] -Oh! [Krysta] -Oh!
[Greg] -Those bags under your eyes.
That, that, that bad posture. Come on Hypnos, get-- [Kit] -Wow.
[Greg] -Um, but that just be- uh, that's just me, uh, being mean.
Whereas Athena, I have, uh, at a four.
Um, I think Athena is, is the, is the image of, of poise
as far as the Olympians are concerned.
She's like the most, definitely the most, uh,
put together, uh, of all the Olympians.
[Kit] -Uh, I gave Athena a four
and I gave Hypnos a three.
So I agree with, uh, what Greg said about Hypnos.
Athena, I love the look.
You know the owl's there. She has a bit of a, a coldness to her, I felt.
A kind of unapproachability, like if, if, if you saw her at a party,
you'd be like, "Oh, that's, I don't know if,
I need to mentally psych myself up for this conversation." [Krysta] -Yeah.
[Kit] -Because she might just, like, brush me off,
but, uh, no, I love her look. [Krysta] -She's also known to be, like,
the smartest of all the, the gods,
you know, and, uh, the most wise, as well. So, definitely,
a little bit intimidating when you think about-- [Kit] -Exactly.
[Krysta] -approaching Athena. I actually
gave her a four, as well, for that exact reason.
Um, Hypnos, yeah, you know, I'm tired of the, the trash talk man.
So, I'm gonna give Hypnos a three as well.
Um, so yeah, I think that's pretty clear.
Uh, maybe our personal feelings got in the way here a little bit
but, Athena is moving on to the next round.
[Hypnos] -Welcome to the House of Hades where... wait, I know you!
Guess that means you died out there, huh?
[Krysta] -Um, all right. This is a fun matchup.
Ares and Cerberus. [grungy rock music]
[Greg] -Oh, yeah.
[music briefly intensifies]
[Greg] -Yeah, this is, this is even tougher than,
um, Dusa versus Achilles, I guess.
Oh, man, what, what can, Cerberus is either,
Uh, I gave Cerberus a three, but I'm not really sure I can defend that.
Cerberus is either-- [Kit laughing] like, a six.
Like, like, like do dogs get, just like, auto-- [Kit] -Look at Krysta's face.
[Greg] -bonus points. Yeah, I--
[Krysta] -My heart is breaking right now. Three. Are you sure about that?
[Greg] -Hey, Cerberus is, is an old hound of hell.
Cerberus has a very scary reputation,
uh, that he needs to uphold and, and I'm just doing my part,
because if I go round saying that Cerberus is super good looking,
maybe people will start, uh, you know,
stop, stop fearing him as well they should.
So that, that's why-- [Krysta] -Try to pet him or something?
[Greg] -that's my line. Um, whereas, uh,
with Ares, you know, Ares is like, I have him at a four,
but I think, I think he's a good kid.
He's, he's quite a dashing fellow, I must say.
Uh, the part where he is, like, really into murder, [Krysta] -Mmhm.
I guess, like, to the extent-- [Krysta laughing]
that, that personality is a component of looks, you know,
they kind of, like, we talked about with Athena, like--
[Krysta] -Yeah, just a little hand in hand. [Greg] -her aloofness, you know.
[Greg] -Yeah. Ares is, something about the way he looks at people,
maybe, is a little bit much so. I think he goes from five to a four,
but he's, he's quite a, a yeah, he's quite a dashing guy, uh, on first impression.
[Krysta] -But Ares is, is that sort of ultimate specimen
because he is really that Greek god,
that is the god of war. He, he does have that quality of,
of being the epitome of, you know, good looking.
So, um, I actually gave Ares a five for that. Um,
I cannot believe you gave Cerberus a three.
That's unacceptable to me.
Um, he gets definitely one point each for one, each of the heads.
So, there we go, three points right there.
[Kit] -So, can, can, can I throw your Dusa argument
in your face with this? One head versus three.
[Krysta] -No. [Kit] -No Greg's argument. [Krysta] -Yeah.
Oh, that, Yes. [Kit] -Multiply it by three.
[Krysta] -Times three and then,
plus the body and tail, he gets a five.
Obviously, that's the scientific approach
to this formula. Um, a little weird
to match him up against, you know, a more human character,
or a human-looking character, but, Cerberus is awesome.
How dare you gave him a three.
That's all I'm gonna say about that.
[Kit] -Let's, let's quickly move along.
Uh, I gave Cerberus a four.
Um, I like the look.
I like the kind of dopiness that it has.
It kind of, it like, you know dogs can have a lot of
different looks and dopiness is one of them and I like that.
Um, I give Ares a five. I think, uh, this is one of my favorites.
Eh, if I could give Ares a six, I might.
I think he's got, you know, that, that kind, of air of danger to him.
Um, I guess, either-- [Krysta] -Yeah.
[Kit] -you, you like it or you don't but, you know I think,
just his general look is great. I, I don't know what you call it.
That, kind of, different flash of color that he has around his eyes is super cool.
Um, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm down with A- with Ares.
[Krysta] -Well, with my, with a broken heart
for my baby dog, Cerberus, Ares is moving on.
Ares is pretty hot, so, I think I'm good with that.
Uh, Ares moves on to the next round.
[Ares] -Infernal watch-dog Cerberus
regards the Underworld Prince with mixed emotions.
[Krysta] -And we are on our last matchup for round one.
Exciting stuff. Uh, of course, our lead character,
Zagreus, versus the first boss that you fight, uh, Megaera. [grungy rock music]
[Greg] -Ooph. Yeah. [Krysta] -It's a very, uh, very apt, uh, matchup.
[music briefly intensifies]
[Kit] -I hate this matchup. [Greg] -Yeah. This is, this is one of the--
[Krysta] -Oh, no.
[Greg] -This is just brutal.
Um, for-forgive me all Hades players. [Krysta] -Oh, oh.
[Greg] -I have Zag- [Krysta] -That's not good.
[Greg] -I have Zagreus at a four.
[Kit] -Oh!
[Greg] -Um, because he, well, I won't give it away.
[Kit] -Uh-huh. [Greg] -Uh, spoilers. But I think,
I think Zagreus has a down-to-earth quality,
that, again, kind of, next to some of the gods,
makes some of the other gods kind of even more impressive.
Even though he's very charming,
he is, he is very good looking compared to what
normal human beings are capable of,
but, I think with the ceiling being the gods themselves,
I don't know that he, uh, like, goes all the way to the top of the pile.
Um, but it's a, it's a tough one.
Uh, for, for Megaera,
I have her at a five. I think, I think Megaera is, is awesome.
And if, if you're, you know, she, like,
she's one of the, she's one of the furies.
She, like, i-i-it, it's kind of the whole, whole package.
She's gon- she's gonna
whip terrible people for oblivion.
Uh, she, she's really good at her job.
Uh, she's, she's like a cool, you know, underworld goddess.
[Kit] -Well, I, I'm glad-- [Krysta] -All right.
[Kit] -that we have some different scores coming in.
They were both fives for me.
[Greg] -Yeah. [Kit] -Um, you know, Zagreus, it's his game.
Um, I love the look, I love the different color eyes.
Um, and then you get to see him with all the different weapons, which maybe,
gives him a leg up on, um,
some of these other characters, so easy five for me.
Megaera, uh, you know, I think along with Ares,
those are my two favorite, um, looking characters in the game.
I, I, this is where I'm going to come across as a hypocrite.
I knocked Thanatos for having the boy band look.
I feel like Megaera has that, kind of,
like '80s pop star look and I think it's the hair-- [Krysta laughs]
[Kit] -specifically that does it. [Greg] -Yup.
[Krysta] -I think the fury sisters could make a pretty good '80s-
[Kit] -Yeah, but I like it. [Krysta] -pop band. Don't you think?
[Kit] -But I think she's got, kind of, just that look of,
like, just the, the sneering sarcasm
that's in her face that I really liked.
So, yeah, straight to the top.
[Krysta] -Yeah,
I gave them both a five too.
Zagreus, obviously, is probably one of the most handsome
video game characters ever.
Um, Megaera, I love how
You know, a lot of, a lot of people can be beautiful,
like Aphrodite, for example, but she just has, like,
this really cool, like, she's not gonna take any,
any stuff from anyone. She's just gonna, um,
do her thing and, and she's, she's gonna look great doing it.
So, um, I definitely, uh, I love that about her
and she's definitely one of my favorite characters as well
but it's all your fault, Greg-- [Kit] -Yep. [Krysta] -I got to tell you.
[Kit] -Upset watch. Whoa. [Krysta] -Upset watch.
You, you've done it to yourself.
[Zagreus] -Well, this is awkward.
[Megaera] -Halt, Zagreus. Not one step further.
[cheery synth music]
[Greg] -For me, he is maybe the
single most fascinating character from Greek myth,
if I had to pick just one which, which is hard to do.