- Do you notice anything different? - I don't wanna play this game
You've gotten into fisting?
I mean, we're not gonna beat that!
This week we have a question from Jay in San Diego; he wants to know:
"Am I being an idiot?"
Is he being an idiot about what?
It was a very long email and I looked at it like, no thanks.
But I looked at it a little bit and I think it was about waiting to have sex
until marriage, and then I was like, ok, I think we've addressed that, but we
haven't addressed just the question, "Am I being an idiot?"
- That was the header to get me in. - I see, "Am I being an idiot?"
You should really put in a snazzy subject line, that'll get me to click.
- Ok, so- - Like "XXX Engorge"
So I thought we could play a fun game of us listing when we each have been idiots
Oh my god. Ok. Just, like, today?
What percentage of the time do you think you are being an idiot?
- 98%. - Do you truly think that?
I worry all the time about being stupid. One time, I was cooking, and I spilled oil
on my stomach, and I burned myself, and I laid on the floor and I cried,
and my ex-boyfriend thought I was crying about being in pain from my stomach,
but really I just started crying, and he said "Why are you crying?" and I said:
"I'm not as smart as I wanna be."
That was sort of just a sad, weird story.
I think I used to be very smart and then something happened.
- Your brain atrophies. - Yeah definitely!
- Like I could've been a doctor. - But even doctors aren't that smart!
- That's true. - I've had a doctor google my symptoms
What do you think is the most idiotic thing I've ever done?
Well, you gotta break them into categories Is it idiotic career wise, dating wise...
Well, I told you I think you should have a podcast.
- I'm trying to get a podcast. - Okay.
That was it? Do you think you're getting more or less
idiotic, as you grow up?
I think I'm getting smarter. I hope. I think I was a genius in fourth grade
- Oh my god I was a GENIUS in fourth grade - Yeah!
The teacher didn't call on me because she knew I knew the right answer every time.
- Wow! - That was a problem, I changed schools
- I think I got dumber in the middle - Yes, very dumb in the middle
And then now, I'm looking forward to being 29, 30, 31,
because I think I'm gonna get smarter. When I'm 30 I'm gonna be a genius
What do I have to do for these next two years?
Just, like, fuck up
If you don't understand something, you never ask for clarity.
-My whole podcast is me asking for clarity - For money...
They pay you to do that, I'm taking about in social situations
- I'm starting to do it more! - Like someone could be talking and
you would have no idea what they're talking about and you would just go "ok"
I'm starting to ask more questions, because I didn't wanna look dumb
- But you just admitted that you're dumb! -Yes but sometimes I don't wanna look dumb
in conversations or someone will be like "Do you know what I'm talking about" and
I'll just say "yes"
I saw you lie right in front of me like two days ago and it was hilarious
- Lie about what? - Alan was like "what are you looking at"
and you were like 'nothing!' but I could see your phone
Yeah but Alan doesn't need to know everything about me
Everyone has different security clearances to my life
- Ok, what's my clearance? - You have most clearance
- Of anybody? - No, but a lot of your clearance that you
don't want, it's like you've opted out of that clearance.
- Of what? - Like you think it's gross or you don't
- wanna hear about it - Oh like the sex stuff?
Yeah.
- Who do you tell all that to? - I mean, it's tough!
I've been thinking about this a lot, as a woman, I've got like two hoe friends
- Who? - I don't wanna say in case they don't
identify as hoes.
You're richer than me now, you sold a second book
- You're not allowed to say that! - Yeah but this game is over because
- you're like twice as rich as I am
- You're not allowed to say that! - What part? You talk about writing your
book all the time!
Yeah. But they can't know what it's about. The second book.
You mention it on Twitter all the time! Are you blacking out?
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