The kids who watched the original Masters of the Universe cartoons are well into adulthood
now and some might notice that the show isn't quite what they remember from back in the
day.
Here are some of the bizarre, hilarious and worrying things that only adults will notice
in He-Man's adventures.
Being so distracted by all the thrilling action and scary monsters, most kids didn't care
about the ideology that fueled He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: capitalism.
But present-day parents who are all too used to their kids begging for toys they've seen
on TV now recognize that one of the main purposes of the He-Man cartoon was to move merchandise.
The show kicked off an action figure craze in the '80s, selling hundreds of millions
of dollars worth of toys, and every episode of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
served as its own 30-minute ad.
Many episodes would introduce some never-before-seen character, who just so happened to be now
available in action figure form at toy stores.
These characters all seemed to possess a unique ability or feature that, conveniently enough,
really popped when molded in plastic.
Take Mekaneck or Buzz-Off, for example two characters who can only possibly have been
conceived so as to make up a shortfall in the merch budget.
There's no other explanation.
He-Man and the Masters of the Universe was obviously heavily inspired by other shows
and movies.
After all, a muscle-bound guy in a loincloth fighting monsters in a strange world?
That's some straight-up Conan the Barbarian stuff right there.
And that's fine Conan itself borrowed plenty of sci-fi and fantasy tropes, and He-Man does
the same.
That's just how media works.
It's just that adults will notice He-Man's cribbing is especially lazy.
"He-Man" itself is an old phrase that means "manly-man", while other hastily named characters
include a skeleton named "Skeletor" and a sorceress named "The Sorceress."
But at least those are mostly innocuous examples.
Some of the other He-Man characters have names that, well let's just say they take on a different
dimension once you're all grown up.
Isn't that right, Fisto?
“And when Fisto offers you his hand boy, that's a big offer."
There might not be too many people on Eternia, but there are clearly plenty of gyms since
every single character on He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is in fantastic shape.
All of the male characters are as ripped as professional bodybuilders, with enormous muscles
covering each of them from head to toe.
The women, meanwhile, fit right in to the hugely unrealistic '80s standard of beauty.
With the battle of good versus evil that constantly plagues Eternia, it's hard to imagine how
the men have four hours a day to lift weights, or how the women fit in the pilates, yoga,
and aerobics they must be doing on the regular.
Regardless, the men and women of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe like to show off
all that hard work and pretty much everyone wears incredibly revealing clothing.
Except Orko, of course, but that would be kinda weird.
According to Masters of the Universe lore, He-Man is the most powerful individual in
existence.
And he's got plenty of powers and tools that have helped him reach that status: "the power
of Grayskull," for one, as well as brute physical strength and the Power Sword, a much-coveted,
Excalibur-like relic.
Despite those gifts, however, He-Man is actually surprisingly wishy-washy most likely because
the show's non-serialized nature means things always have to get back to normal by the end
of each episode.
As a result, He-Man never really uses much of the power afforded to him.
He always lets bad guys get away including Skeletor, who's pretty much king of the bad
guys.
Since he knows he'll be back to fight Skeletor another day, He-Man always allows him to flee
back to his headquarters from which he can continue his campaign of terror.
The show's hero could easily make life better for the people of Eternia by ending his war
and killing Skeletor with the Power Sword the first chance he gets.
But then there'd be no more show, would there?
Having dominion over a whole planet or even the universe is no easy feat, and not even
an evil, all-powerful sorcerer can do it alone.
Skeletor boasts a huge crew of powerful servants, all loyally devoted to helping their boss
destroy He-Man and take over Eternia.
But Skeletor is so evil that he doesn't even appreciate how baddies like Beast Man and
Evil-Lyn lay everything on the line for him day after day, risking life, limb, and more
in service to this angry, cackling skeleton.
He's forever unhappy with the performance of his underlings, mainly because they never
manage to defeat He-Man or complete the task he's sent them to do and he is always happen
to let them know it with a threat of violence of a withering put-down.
"Why do I surround myself with fools?!
Even the robots smarter than you."
Skeletor best be careful.
Best case scenario, his put-upon employees flees to He-Man's side and reveals all kinds
of secrets to Eternia's hero.
Worst case scenario, they unionize.
And then Skeletor's really in trouble.
Even today, animation is a labor-intensive and expensive craft.
And things were even tougher back in the early '80s, when He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
aired.
Production company Filmation churned out 65 episodes per season, and the crew had to find
some shortcuts to keep things running smoothly.
Kids with no frame of reference wouldn't notice, but adults with a cynical eye will easily
spot the show's cost-cutting measures.
The same handful of music cues are used over and over, and so are a number of animation
sequences.
How many times do we see He-Man and Battle Cat running or walking, the basic animation
of their steps repeated for a good chunk of screentime?
And of course, at least once per episode, Prince Adam is going to step in front of Castle
Grayskull and gradually transform into He-Man.
It's a good lesson for kids: always recycle.
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