We were just talking about
the white supremacy rallies in Charlottesville and Boston,
and, uh, and, you know, and I realized
it's a little weird
to just say white supremacy
as if it's a normal thing
that everyone should be familiar with.
Like, everyone just says it. "Oh, you know,
the white supremacists, wh-white sup..."
But what does it actually mean?
What do white supremacists want?
Well, it turns out it's actually pretty straightforward.
We're showing to this parasitic class of anti-white vermin,
that this is our country.
This country was built by our forefathers
and sustained by us.
It's going to remain our country.
I think, on average, whites are more intelligent than blacks,
and north Asians are more intelligent than whites.
-How can you say that? -All of this is...
How can you think otherwise?
The entire record of history is completely consistent
with the assumption that black Africans
are less intelligent, on average,
than Asians or Caucasians.
Let's talk about this idea that white people
are biologically superior for a second.
And now, don't get me wrong.
White people have been doing very well for themselves
for the past few hundred years.
I mean, they invented light bulbs, airplanes,
cured polio, went to the moon,
won the Grammy for best rap album.
It's been a solid run for white people.
I cannot lie.
But this stuff goes in cycles, all right?
I mean, at one point, Mesopotamia was killing it.
But then the Egyptians hit back with the pyramids, you know?
It's like, white people had Larry Bird,
but then Michael Jordan came out, right?
And Shaq, and then Kevin Garnett,
and Iverson, and-and LeBron.
Basically, white people had Larry Bird,
is what I'm saying.
So the jury is out on who the best race is.
I-I'm just not convinced that it's these guys.
TV REPORTER: This man's image has come to symbolize
Friday night's rally.
Yes, You're Racist identified him as Peter Cvjetanovic,
a student at the University of Nevada, Reno.
I do not identify as a white supremacist or a racist.
Um, of course that-that definition's really fluid.
People have one version, I have another.
I'm alt-right because I'm pro-white.
I-I'm sorry, what?
People have another version?
N-No. No. Th-that's weird.
This little millennial Nazi over here
saying he's not sure of what he believes,
so we mustn't label him racist?
So y-you're not sure of what...
Okay, here's-here's my only question.
If that's what he does when he's not sure,
what the (bleep) is he gonna do when he's made up his mind?
And-and, by the way, by the way, dude,
I hate to break this to you,
but your last name is Cvjetanovic.
It may be fun hanging out with Nazis now,
but you're up in round two, my friend.
As far as the Klan is concerned,
your name might as well be Tyrone Lopez Ginsburg.
Like, what are you thinking?
For more analysis, we turn
to our very own Roy Wood Jr., everybody!
-(cheering, applause) -What's going on, Roy?
Roy, as a...
as a black man in America, you must have been shocked
by what you've seen over the past week.
Shocked?
That there's racists in America?
The Klan marching doesn't shock me.
What would shock me
is if they marched in the hood.
Take that (bleep) to Oakland and see what happens.
-(cheering, applause) -Goodness.
'Cause watching what happened in Charlottesville--
it-it only made me wonder
how are you the master race
but you so dumb?
I... I don't understand, Roy.
Dude, Trevor, these-these dudes,
they got a great thing going and they're messing it up.
Donald Trump's already giving white supremacists
pretty much everything they want.
He's building the wall, he's banning Muslims,
he's taking away black people's voting rights,
he even blocked Tyler Perry from dropping any new Madea movies.
Wait, is that true?
I mean, I haven't seen one come out in, like, three weeks,
so it's got to be Trump. It's probably Trump.
A... All right, all right, Roy, le... You know what,
let-let's take a step back. I-I don't understand
why you say that white supremacists are messing up.
Because they are.
They've got a man on the inside,
but all the stupid (bleep) they're doing
is just bringing heat on him.
Trump's trying to give them the hookup.
This is not how you treat a hookup.
Look, I speak from experience.
I had the hookup one time at Wendy's.
Same thing as this.
And so... My homeboy, Ramrod--
he used to work nights at Wendy's.
Every shift, we'd hit Wendy's,
he'd give us a bag full of free food every day.
Just a bag of Wendy's-- just Jr. Bacons,
nuggets falling all out the top.
Greatest days of my life.
Then, one day... one day, I got entitled.
Went inside and complained because they forgot the lettuce.
Hookup done, Ramrod fired.
You hear what I'm saying, Trevor?
I think I hear what you're saying. What you're saying is
"Don't complain about the lettuce
when you're getting the burger for free."
Hallelujah!
White supremacists need to learn that by wreaking havoc
they're only gonna hurt their own cause.
See, black people-- we learned that a long time ago.
We learned that lesson with O.J.
O.J. went free, black people went crazy,
so white people locked his ass up again.
That's why when O.J. got out this time and got paroled,
black people was chill.
They was like, "O.J. out!"
We was like, "I'm sorry, who? Hmm?"
But on the inside, we was going,
"The Juice is loose! The Juice is loose!
The Juice is loose! He's loose!"
Whoa, Roy...
(cheering, applause)
We were happy.
On the inside.
Roy, O.J. is a convicted felon.
I'm sorry, who?
I don't know who you're talking about.
Let me give you some advice.
You, the genius master race.
Comes courtesy of Dr. Martin Luther King.
You probably swung by his house couple times, back in the day.
Uh, what Dr. King always say--
"Keep your eyes on the prize."
You've got Donald Trump in the White House.
He's got Jeff Sessions by his side.
You want Confederate monuments,
Jeff Sessions is a living Confederate monument.
Play it cool. Play it cool.
When Obama gave us reparations, we didn't grab tiki torches
and scream, "Direct deposit," we just cashed the checks.
Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait-- black Americans got reparations?
I'm sorry, who?
Thank you, Roy. Roy Wood Jr., everybody.