I have missed you so much.
I have.
You have no idea how much I've missed you.
I am so happy to have an audience here.
This is so exciting for me.
Thank you, thank you so much for being here.
Thanks for that energy I have missed so much.
You've all been tested and you've been vaccinated,
and some of you are "working from home."
And so I appreciate that you're here, I really do.
Thank you for wanting to be here.
It means more than I can say, even though I just said it,
more than I can actually really say.
And for those of you tuning in for the very first time,
I'm Ellen.
Don't get too attached.
This is my last season.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
That's right, this is my last first show, which
means this is my last first time I'll walk out here,
and it's my last first monologue,
and it's the last first time I'm going
to mention my last first time.
And if any of you are confused, it won't be the last time.
I am excited, because everybody here is here
for the very first time.
[APPLAUSE]
Yeah.
So cool.
We all remember our first times, right?
Yeah, some better than others.
But don't you worry.
I know what I'm doing.
I've been with a lot of audiences.
Now that you're here, I want to talk to a few of you that
are here for the first time.
Thank you, Richard.
Oh, I move here now to talk.
Oh, wow.
That's the place where I talk to other people,
and now I talk to you here.
Portitia and Mino.
Where is Portitia and Mino?
Come on over by the mic.
Hi.
Am I pronouncing those names correctly, Portitia?
Portitia.
And Mino?
Yes, correct.
Hi.
You can take the mask off, yeah.
Hi.
Oh look, you have a beard.
You were hiding it.
I didn't know.
OK, so this is your first time here?
Yes.
And so how long have you been waiting to get tickets?
14 years.
14?
Yes.
Oh, my god.
And am I exceeding your expectations so far?
Oh, my god.
You sure are.
Yeah.
Oh, wow, I haven't done anything yet.
OK, we have a photo of what you looked
like when you were trying to get tickets 14 years ago.
This is how things change.
Look at that.
Look at you two before you grew the beard and everything.
Yeah.
Do you like the beard?
Yeah, it's nice.
No, I meant her.
Oh!
Yeah.
I like it.
Yeah.
It's more important to ask her.
I know you like it, you grew it.
Thank you, Ellen.
Yeah.
I approve.
You do like it?
OK, good.
All right, I'm happy you're here.
Thank you so much for being here.
14 years!
Have a seat.
[APPLAUSE]
And Alexia-- where's Alexia?
Hi, Alexia!
Stand over here.
[APPLAUSE]
Hi, Ellen.
Hi, Alexia.
So how long have you-- you're young,
how long have you been waiting for tickets?
10 or 11 years now.
10 or 11, you're not sure?
One of those two.
OK.
But 14, 10-- people wait for--
Most of my life I've been waiting.
Most of your life.
Because we have a photo of you when
you were trying to get tickets.
Look at you.
Too young.
[APPLAUSE]
How?
The shirt matches!
Same shirt!
The same shirt and everything, yeah.
That's incredible.
How did your little, tiny fingers type
in "The Ellen Show" tickets?
I don't know how you did it.
It was difficult, but we made it.
You did.
Well, I'm so glad you're here.
Thanks, Alexia.
Thank you so much.
All right.
[APPLAUSE]
One thing I'm going to do more of this year, which I always
love doing, is Q&A with my audience.
Hey, Ellen, I have a question.
Oh, that's early.
OK.
I didn't mean right now, but go right ahead.
Is it true that I asked a question
on your very first show?
I'm not really sure.
I don't remember that.
Well, I do remember, and I brought a clip.
Well, that's weird, an audience member
doesn't usually bring a clip.
Toll it, Susie!
This is a segment that I like to call
"talking with the audience."
And so if you have any questions,
any things that-- yes, in the back?
We all know that you really like animals--
Yes.
--and I was just wondering, if you could be any animal,
which one would you be and why?
If I could be any animal?
Yeah.
Well, I haven't really thought of it.
I like animals.
I've never envied wanting to be an animal.
But I would like to be one of my animals for sure,
because I treat them so well.
I would be a cat, or a dog, or a bird, or a flying cat or dog,
I guess.
Something that flies, but could land and you could pet it.
OK, here's the amazing thing.
I just found out about this this morning.
This is Rick, everybody.
Rick was an audience member in my very first premier show,
and then Season 14 he joined us as a writer.
[APPLAUSE]
Oh, thanks, you guys.
Thanks a lot.
That's nice.
And then he wrote that bit.
So that's why he's here again.
Thanks, Rick.
[APPLAUSE]
I am so happy to have my staff back.
I'm happy my audience is back.
You have no idea how much I missed my parking space.
And I missed saying this so much-- give it up for tWitch.