A Highly Sensitive Person (or HSP as they’re colloquially known) is a person who is particularly
sensitive to sensory input.
They are more easily overwhelmed by their environment and are more acutely aware of
subtleties in their environment.
Around 15 to 20% of the general population form part of the Highly Sensitive Person personality.
70% of HSPs are Introverts while 30% are extroverts.
INFJs form part of this 70%.
Being a highly Sensitive Person is however not a condition or a weakness, it’s a personality
trait which can be uniquely useful if harnessed.
However, some Highly sensitive INFJs really struggle in everyday life.
It can be unbearably stressful to cope with such intense feelings in a society that is
predominantly non-sensitive and extroverted.
So, let’s look at 10 Struggles of the Highly Sensitive INFJ.
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Constant Emotional exhaustion
Highly sensitive INFJs are in a perpetual state of emotional exhaustion.
They absorb people’s energies which can eventually wear them down.
Unlike other people, not only do they carry the emotions of others, they’re also hyper-aware
of people’s moods, body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice.
This can be very helpful where they need to make certain decisions, but it can nonetheless
be very arduous at the same time.
Besides, being highly sensitive also involves feeling things deeply whether highs or lows.
The highs may be good, but the lows may result in heightened stress levels, increased anxiety,
and the in worse cases, mental health issues and addiction.
Overstimulation
The majority of people are not bothered by blinking lights, sirens or bangs, strong smells
or crowds.
However, highly sensitive INFJs can easily become overwhelmed by the tiniest of stimuli.
Bright lights, strong scents, loud noises, and itchy fabric can often overstimulate them.
They can experience information overload more quickly as well, since they are hyperaware
of their surroundings and notice the smallest things in their environment, oftentimes seemingly
undetected by those around them.
Being Misunderstood
Being Highly Sensitive is misunderstood by many people to the point HSPs are often labeled
as overthinkers or overly dramatic.
Highly sensitive INFJs form such a small part of the population many people are frankly
too shallow to comprehend any great depth of feeling.
People also generally view differences to their normal as a negative thing.
For shallow feelers, they just can never grasp the extent of someone who is deeply conscious
and different from them.
For sensitive INFJs this means feeling a need to hide their experiences in order to “fit in”.
This can be hard to do, and if others around them don’t understand, they may find themselves
alone much of the time.
Incapacitated by violence and cruelty
HSPs find violence and cruelty particularly painful to deal with.
Being empaths as well, for sensitive INFJs other people’s pain can really be debilitating.
They often cannot even watch movies or tv shows with such scenes.
To the highly sensitive INFJ, it doesn’t matter whether it’s real or fictitious,
horror and action movies are generally more traumatic than entertaining.
They Can’t Stand Pressure
For majority of people, the phrase ‘Can work under pressure is a strength.
Something they may even include in their CVs while applying for jobs, but to the Highly
Sensitive INFJ, it's not an exaggeration to say working under pressure can be total torture.
Time pressure can often cause them anxiety and stress.
They need enough time to reflect on problems, think creatively, and execute tasks.
Having too many things on their to-do list can stress them out.
This is not to mean that Highly Sensitive INFJs are less productive.
In fact, they often set very high standards for themselves and don’t stop until they
meet their goals.
They just need to do it at their own pace.
Need for Solitude
Highly Sensitive INFJs need a lot of downtime to recharge.
This can often be confused for laziness or unsociability, however, highly sensitive INFJs
get very depleted when they spend a lot of time in the outside world.
After exposure to social interactions and noisy environments, they often need solitude
to think, rest, and reset.
Not getting this time can be very detrimental to them.
It's like taking a fish out of water, they will eventually need to be put back into breath.
This can often be another point of misunderstanding for people who don’t have those same needs.
The not returning calls, canceling plans, inconsistency in relationships that can result
from an INFJs hibernation, can hurt those around them.
For Immature INFJs who have not fully learned how to communicate needing space, often end
up fracturing their relationships.
Sometimes to a point of no return.
They Dislike Change
It’s said that ‘Change is as good as rest’ but not for the highly sensitive INFJs.
Sensitive INFJs tend to dislike change.
It doesn’t matter whether it is positive or negative, change can make them particularly
anxious and disoriented.
They find it stressful to adjust and may need a little bit more time than the average person.
Their idealistic nature prefers the mundane and what’s familiar to them.
This can often make them miss out on opportunities that come with change, like exploring different
career paths, moving cities, going for a promotion, or getting into relationships.
Easily Affected by criticism
Highly sensitive INFJs struggle to accept the fact that they are not entirely perfect.
They strive so hard not to make mistakes but still fail.
They also struggle to accept feedback from others no matter how constructive it is.
They care a lot about how people view them and fear letting others down.
This is not possible even for the most hardworking person.
Sensitive INFJs often resort to criticizing themselves first before they can be criticized,
having people-pleasing tendencies, or even avoiding people whose expectations they don’t
believe they can live up to.
Highly sensitive INFJs need to accept they can’t make things perfect and not everyone
is going to like them, and it’s ok.
Also, it is through constructive feedback that people learn and grow.
Struggle With Boundaries
In a world with so many self-centered people, you need to set your boundaries, right?
Whether it’s social boundaries, physical, financial, or emotional.
There must be some ‘no-go zones’ to live a healthy life.
Highly sensitive INFJs are compassionate and empathetic, which is such a nice trait, however,
the downside is the struggle to set clear boundaries.
Their altruistic nature works for the common good but often means at the expense of their
own well-being.
As they pick up on other people's emotions, they forget to set emotional boundaries for
themselves and get overwhelmed by the weight that comes with it.
Their people-pleasing nature also makes them compromise on their comfort levels since they
find it hard to outrightly say no.
Struggle with failure
Highly sensitive INFJs put very high expectations for themselves and when they fail to attain
their goals, they are their own worst critic.
They get more embarrassed about their failures than the average person.
They don’t appreciate close supervision or being put under pressure while attempting
new challenges.
Highly sensitive INFJs perfectionist nature also makes them beat themselves up over minute
details.
When they make mistakes, they punish themselves for too long, feeling that they should have
done better.
They might even refrain from trying something new because they have already decided they
will fail.
Sensitivity is a trait that most personalities have to some extent, however, highly sensitive
INFJ are the most sensitive of them all.
They are inclined towards empathy, deep thinking, compassion and intuitively understanding their
environments.
Rare and unique gifts.
What makes life hard for Sensitive INFJs is the callousness and lack of understanding
in the societies they find themselves in.
High sensitivity it is not a condition or disorder that needs treatment.
About 2 in every 10 people are HSPs.
Although outnumbered and powerless to the harsh realities of the world, sensitive INFJs
should recognize their gifts.
The high points of life can bring them even more joy and happiness than a normal person.
Their awareness of and empathy for other people isn’t a weakness, it’s a rebalancing of
the bad.
To live well, sensitive INFJs need to be kind to themselves, make plans to take care of
themselves in stressful situations,
and celebrate their sensitivity each day