- Would you meme?
medical edition.
Number 21 let's get started.
Pee woop!
Me, I'm still tired from all the CrossFit this morning.
My coworker, it's pronounced croissant.
And you ate four of them.
I wonder.
Is it, is it croissant or croissant?
What do you think of my French accent?
Croissant.
Parle vou francais?
Best pick line ever.
Dang girl you are my appendix
because I don't understand how you work, but this feeling
in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
(Laughs)
This is so weird.
I'm gonna rewrite it.
Dang girl.
You are my appendix.
While most people want to get rid
of you because they think you're unworthy.
I'm gonna keep you because I've never had an appendectomy.
Hmm!
Are you taking me to the hospital?
No. Ma'am you need top medical experts.
We're taking you to the college section.
I wish they said we're taking you to like the meta offices.
Cause I feel like that's where the best medical
information is these days.
Doctor, do you exercise?
Me, oh yeah, I do.
All of them.
The push offs, plonks.
Doctor.
Me, cronchies.
Doctor, I'm gonna put no.
Me, okay.
You know, it's funny.
I hosted a class where doctors exercise
with their patients and then I was like, okay
we're gonna do lunges, lunge, lunge.
And then I saw some people were getting hungry.
So I was like, not lunch, lunge.
That joke.
Head cold, sore throat.
Anything else?
Yes. I'm a little horse.
Aw. You know, it's funny.
I wasn't gonna laugh at it cause it's really cheesy.
But the horse is adorable.
Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise.
Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.
you know what's a bigger pyramid scheme?
You want to be motivated?
Do something first.
Then you get the motivation.
You're supposed to be motivated to do the action
but in order to get the motivation
you need to do the action first.
That's the Ponzi scheme.
No cure for heartbreak.
Can't stop thinking about
(Laughs)
Plus diarrhea.
Did she leave because of the diarrhea?
Cause that'll be messed up.
I too dabble in essential oils, essential oils.
I, I, I hit home pretty hard on the trans fats.
Those are oils I can't get behind.
Stethoscope was invented in 1816.
Doctors before that.
Doctors before that actually use like one
of these like triangular cone looking things to listen.
What's the wildest thing you ever did for money.
Is that school or squid games?
I can't even tell.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Cause the first time, I don't get it.
- Do you need a parachute to jump out of an airplane?
- No. Well, yes.
- Do you need one to jump out?
- Oh cause you, it, yeah.
To me need is equatable with life.
So without life you can't need.
Misinformation, that's some good news for you.
When you say vasovagal syncope instead of
homey pooped so hard he passed out.
How about this?
Neuro cardiogenic syncope.
That's like the next level of vasovagal syncope.
It's what happens when your body doesn't react
with its neurologic cardiologic system
fast enough to compress your arteries inside your legs
to increase the blood pressure
to supply more blood to the brain when you poop.
So take it easy when you poop.
Falling off a roof when you're a kid.
I don't know why they're saying this
because that could be lethal.
Sneezing too hard when you're adult, low back pain!
As an adult, if you don't warm up properly for
a cough or a sneeze ,it's possible to herniate a disc.
Eating five servings of fruit and vegetables a
day is part of a healthy diet.
Don't eat too many carbohydrates and limit sugar intake.
Okay, I'm gonna explain the SpongeBob meme
cuz it warrants medical intervention
by a board certified family medicine physician.
When we say eat five servings of fruit
we're saying eat the fruit that is within the sugar
that is co-packaged with, by nature with fiber
thereby decreasing the absorption and the speed
of absorption of that sugar.
Plus nature was like, we're gonna load it with vitamins
and minerals so that you're not just getting sugar
but you're also healing your body and making it stronger.
Versus when you eat a lot of refined
carbohydrates, white bread, white pastas
you're not getting the nutrients, you're not
getting the fiber.
You see the difference?
Thanks SpongeBob.
Yoga master, Jagermeister.
Facts.
By the way, you know
there's a condition called Saturday Night Palsy where
if you fall asleep, drunk on a bench
and you fall asleep on the benches in here, it actually
like damages the nerve here and you loose sensation and
and sometimes motor function of that hand.
If you're laughing at these memes
you're gonna be laughing at my show.
I'm going on tour Philly, DC, New Jersey, and Boston.
Click down below to get your tickets now they're
selling out quick.
ACU pasta.
I don't know.
I would just want noodles like wet noodles all over my body.
Me when I wake up in the morning, ripped.
Me after I have sip of water.
This is what it's like training for boxing
and I'll explain why.
I drink 64 ounces of water when I box
with electrolyte tablets in them.
So you make sure to hold onto that water.
And I don't know why my stomach just goes.
How bad is your eyesight?
Oh my God.
Lately, my eyesight's gotten worse.
And I can't tell if it's
because I'm spending more time on my iPhone.
And I'm just like this all the time.
Or is it because I'm actively getting punched
in the head training for a boxing match.
Girls, I wonder why we usually live longer than boys.
Boys, top 10 organs to sell to buy gaming PC.
Can't live without all your organs.
You need your organs.
In fact, I'm gonna make a video of organs that
you can live without.
Name one right now quick.
Appendix?
No, lung.
Big score, found a ton of cotton candy hiding in my attic.
Oh, don't eat that.
That will like shred your insides.
God can we report this video?
Doctor waiting room.
If you die, whilst waiting to see the doctor
please cancel your appointment.
That should be sign actually
for the staff that is making the appointments that
if you see a patient die, cancel their appointment.
What exercise to improve on this condition?
Oh, is that a bathroom suction?
That is Pectus Excavatum genetic condition can actually
cause abnormalities of the heart
but a lot of people live very normal lives.
I've actually seen a patient who had a heart
outside of her chest.
It it's a known chest deformity.
I believe detox teas are pee woop am pro-vax
and will never vape, but real Dr. Mike
will never convince me to not put Q-tips in my ears.
I have very little joy in my life.
Don't take this away from me.
Butt space hole?
What's butt space?
- I have no idea what that means.
(Beep)
- Like I care about your tympanic membrane.
What other person in your life has ever came
up to you Ms. C,
and told you that they care about your tympanic membrane?
I bet that's never happened before.
Eating is crazy.
You put food in a cavity where you smash it with 32 bones
then a meat tentacle pushes it down a pool of acid.
How about the fact that you take a sword
and you slice a piece
of cow and then jam it into your mouth?
Like we have mini swords in our homes.
Having your nipples pierces a good idea
until you think about the fact that if you ever die
you need to be shocked by defibrillator,
the chances of your nipples frying off are pretty high.
You're welcome.
You know, what's funny.
I've shocked a lot of people with defibrillators.
I don't know if any of them ever had nipple rings
and I wasn't trying to save their lives.
I was trying to bring them back to life.
It's important distinction in ACLS protocol.
When you zone out in class for two seconds.
two plus two equals four rain, whoa!
It's medical fun fact time.
Have you ever heard of an absence seizure?
It's a type of seizure where you actually
like become absent for a period of time,
and then we put them on an EEG
for 24 hours that monitors their waves of their brain.
And we can actually catch these Absence seizures.
And the fact that we call them Absence
as opposed to absent seizures was bewildering
to me from day one.
Normal heartbeat.
Deceased heartbeat.
When your leg hair moves and it feels like
there's something crawling on your leg.
When you're jogging
and you wear like those Nike tight or whatever
tight spandex pants and the little hairs on your leg
like form into like a little knot,
and then you take a step and you feel those hairs rip.
I honestly feel like that's worse than the torture
that you get when people put paper cuts in
between the webbings of your fingers.
People, makes medical memes and jokes.
Dr. Mike, getting ready to explain.
That's how I have fun.
What do you think doctors do at parties?
We just like give medical advice and make meme jokes.
Improved pain, scale.
One, it might be an itch.
Two, I just need a bandaid.
Three, it's kind of annoying.
Four, this is concerning but I can still work.
Five, bees?
Six, lots of bees.
Seven, I can't stop crying.
Eight, I can't move it hurts so bad.
Nine, mauled by a bear or ninjas.
Ten, unconscious.
This is an improved pain scale
but it leaves out individuals who don't speak the language.
I prefer the one with the faces.
Have you ever seen the one with the faces?
I flew a legit F 16.
Click here to check that out.
As always stay happy and healthy.
Fighter jet.
You know the one with the missiles?
Well they took away the missiles.
click here.
(Funky Music)