You know Halloween is one of those times of
the year that's just full of movies y'know like really there's a lot. But there's one
Halloween movie or I guess movie series that Disney loves to show over and over again around
this time, and even back when I saw it when the movie first came out I remember thinking
it was kinda weird, and like watching it back now, this movie is so bizarre. Like it barely
makes any sense. Although to be fair most movies around that time didn't make sense
either but that's a different conversation. Anyway, the movie I'm talking about is the
1998 Disney Channel original, Halloweentown. So the movie starts out with the Cromwell family
on Halloween night. Hey wait a minute what about this house?
Forget that house! Let's go to the next one. Somebody's coming.
Come on Sophie. You know nobody ever comes here on Halloween.
Well that's what you get for giving kids raisins every year now isn't it? I mean once word
gets around the neighborhood about that like you better just move. Here's where we meet
13-year-old Marnie, who's upset because her mom won't let her go to a costume party that,
according to Marnie, everyone else in the world is going to.
Mom it's just a costume party you've gotta let me go the whole world is going if I don't
go I'll be a freak. You know, the odds were 50% I'd get one normal
sister. I love how Marnie just like nonchalantly throws
her brother across the room. One normal sister--
Anyway, after Marnie finishes rolling her eyes some more, the argument continues.
I'm 13, okay? I'm practically a grownup. I'm certainly old enough to make my own choices.
"I'm 13. I'm practically a grownup". Let me tell ya somethin', okay? I'm 30 and I still
have no idea what I'm doing so y'know good luck with all that Marnie. Now while this
is all going on, down the street we see a magic bus fly in, land, and out comes some
witch lady who we learn is actually their grandma.
Grandma! What are you doing here?
Grandma! Grandma! Oh so wonderful to see you and the children
again. Oh my my my my how you've grown. Did you bring us presents?
Sophie! Oh presents, presents, presents, presents!
What kind of a grandma do you think I'd be if I didn't bring you presents.
So she opens her bag and it's full of candy and skeletons and all this stuff but like
I mean okay really Disney like I can only suspend my disbelief so far. You're telling me her
purse is full of all this? Nah nah nah okay everyone knows that grandma's purses are full
of Werther's Originals and those weird like strawberry candies that get chewy after a
while like where do you even buy those by the way? Like I've never seen them for sale
anywhere but everyone's grandma has hundreds of them just falling out of their pockets.
Anyway, they all have dinner and their own little Halloween party thing I guess, and
pretty soon it's off to bed so mom and grandma can talk about y'know grownup stuff like open
enrollment and orthopedic shoes and stuff. After this, grandma goes upstairs and starts
telling the kids about a magical place called Halloweentown.
And my story is about a magical place. Where many different sorts of creatures live together
in peace. Like Cleveland?
Well actually the place I'm speaking of is called Halloweentown. And the residents are
a bit more. . . exotic. I wanna go there!
I-I have to confess that I didn't make it up I read about it in a book. So you see?
Maybe it is real. A book? What book?
Oh. There! Halloweentown. Whoa whoa whoa grandma. You got a little kids
picture book?! Well that changes everything. I mean it MUST be real. I gotta admit I was
on the fence for a while but you convinced me. Y'know it's a good thing she didn't pull
out Clifford the Big Red Dog or something 'cause that really would have just blown these
kids minds. Look! It's Marnie!
It is me. I mean that picture could literally be almost
anyone but sure whatever you say Marnie yeah whatever. It's kinda like those psychics y'know
who like get onstage and just say like the most general thing they can think of y'know
they're all like "I'm getting a feeling that there's someone here who doesn't like going
on first dates mainly because they can't be bothered to hold in their farts for that long".
Whoa. How did he know? Now later Marnie overhears her grandma and
her mom talking about how Marnie is in fact a witch and needs to start her traininog before
it's too late. So she and her brother follow their grandma, sneak onto the Halloweentown
bus, get magically transported to Halloweentown--see I told you it was real! And also realize that
the little sister followed them the whole way.
Sophie! How did you get here? I followed you onto the bus.
But you were asleep. I was pretending.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Hold on a second. You were just pretending to be asleep?! Wha-wha-what's
even real anymore?! Now here's where we meet Kalabar, the mayor
of Halloweentown who apparently has a thing for their mom if you know what I'm sayin'.
I'm Marnie. Kalabar. And uh you are?
This is my brother Dylan. We're Aggie Cromwell's grandkids.
Wait a minute ah does that mean are you Gwen's kids?
You know our mom? Well I did a long time ago I--is she here
with you? I'd just like to let her know that the guy
she turned down for prom twice yeah well he's the mayor now so y'know no big deal just
thought maybe she'd like to know. So after this the kids head off to their grandma's
house and finally get this kind of like plot or whatever which is that they need to get
the ingredients to make witches brew so grandma can cast a spell on this like magic wand thing
or whatever and ward off some evil dark spirit thing that's doing something to Halloweentown.
And we also get our first real good look at Halloweentown. Now the whole idea of this
place is like this is where all the real monsters and werewolves and witches or whatever like
they all hang out together right? But like the whole town is literally just people in
Party City masks? Like not even good ones either. It's just some like random green head
on some dude's body like what even is this? What was the budget for this movie like a
nickel and a rubber band? Anyway, so Marnie goes off to look at flying brooms, when Luke,
the local bad boy, shows up. How sweet. Buying little Marley here her first
broom huh? It's Marnie.
This is a local boy. Luke. Hey don't sell me too short there grammy.
I'm something of a big cheese around here. Okay, alright. I'm just gonna leave that one
right where it is. And so, after insulting her and her grandma, Luke decides to ask Marnie
on a date? Maybe I could show you around sometime. Buy you an ice cream. The abominable snowman
has a little shop down the street. I was kinda hungry but then I smelled something
stinky. It must have been the big cheese. So Marnie and grandma take their new broom
out for a spin, and when they come back guess who shows up.
You next, you next! I don't think so.
Aw no, it's the fun police. What's that? Kids laughin', havin' fun, makin' merry? Oh no
ya dont. Anyway, so mom tries to take them back home to the human world but of course
nothing's ever that easy. Excuse me!
What? I'm never going to school again and I'm gonna
move someplace really far away and join a motorcycle gang!
Marnie this is not our world! Well it used to be your world. Are you gonna
get tired of us too? Oh sorry. Those aren't my kids. They used to be my kids but I've
"moved on". Y'know I 'member as a kid watching this movie
and of course y'know seeing everything from Marnie's point of view like yeah her mom is
so mean taking her away from Halloweentown parents just don't understand. Or like, whatever.
But watching it back now, like how did Marnie's mom not just punch Marnie in the face? You
know what mom I'm never going to school again I'm never talkin' to you again. How dare you
even try to-- While this is all going on, grandma meets
up with the big cheese who offers to take her to meet whoever this dark evil spirit
dude thing might be and together they head off to the abandoned movie theater.
Welcome to my museum hahahaha! I know you have Merlin's talisman. Give it to me!
I do have the talisman. Give me the talisman!
Never! No!
Okay just wait hold on a second here. So this great powerful evil warlock guy he shoots
this magic spell right? And grandma just hobbles to the side and it misses her? Like how powerful
could this guy really be y'know? So the kids and their mom find grandma but
for a variety of reasons their mom and grandma both end up getting hit by the magic spell
and the kids barely escape with their lives running down a fire escape even though they
were already on the ground floor? Not quite sure how that works but maybe it's magic.
Now the only way to get rid of this guy who's basically just squatting in a movie theater
at this point is to finish the spell their grandma started at the beginning of the movie.
Now to do that, they have to gather up stuff like werewolf hair and ghost sweat and a bunch
of other weird stuff that those mompreneurs on Facebook try to sell you for detoxing.
So they get all the stuff together and they cast a spell on the wand and they go back
to the movie theater to save their mom and grandma but turns out they actually have to
put the wand in the giant pumpkin thing in the middle of town 'cause I mean like duh
where else are you gonna put it y'know? And just before Marnie can do that, the evil guy
shows up and we learn the truth about who he really is.
My fellow creatures! To celebrate evil within us! To reveal ourselves
as we really are! Hahahaha! Kalabar!
Kalabar? But you had a top hat. I thought you could always trust people with top hats.
Anyway Marnie eventually gets the glowy thing in the pumpkin thing and then the light thing
shoots out and saves everyone from the evil thing. So everyone's reunited and the whole
town dances like this for some reason and then Kalabar explains why he did all this
stuff in the first place. Why Kalabar?
You could have had me. The most powerful warlock of all. You could have ruled, with me! As
my queen! But you chose a human! Okay. Let me get this straight. So your plan
was to take over the entire world y'know cast it in darkness or whatever because some girl
dumped you in like high school or something? Y'know I said this as a joke before but like
is that seriously what this entire movie is about? Like have you ever noticed how in movies
or like TV shows or whatever when a girl gets dumped and a guy gets dumped like their reactions
are completely different? You know when a girl gets dumped right there's like a montage of
her watching Sixteen Candles she's crying eating a whole tub of ice cream or something
right and then she like changes heir hair and goes to the gym and she's like pshh I'm
better off without you anyway. But like when a guy gets dumped y'know he's just like well
shoot guess I better go blow up the world now. Anyway so the kids join their mom and
grandma and defeat Kalabar once and for all by. . . humming?
I mean at this point sure, why not. NOOOOO!
And finally we get to see what Luke actually looks like without Kalabar's handsome spell
or like whatever it was. Luke?
Hi. Wow. So this is the real you?
Wanna know the worst part? Is even when I was good-looking, I didn't have a chance to
get a date with you.
I guess I didn't turn into a handsome prince though huh? No.
Geez Marnie kick a man while he's down why don't you?
I'm sorry I'm not handsome enough for you. Yeah I'm sorry too buddy. Put your hood back
on would you? And then finally they fly off in the bus live
happily ever after budda buh buh you get the idea. Sooo yeah this movie really just barely
makes any sense at all. You know I haven't watched this movie since I was a kid and when
I watched it y'know it was from that typical kid point of view y'know about like parents
are dumb and don't understand but like watching it back now I actually really sympathize with
the mom character I mean instead of her just being this dumb adult like how I remember
the movie being she's actually the only one who has any real like motivation or character
or like any value whatsoever. But still this movie is it's somethin', I guess.
Everybody really quick so we got this brand new Charlie Halloween merchandise in the store
it's only available for a limited time so if you're interested if you want to get it
want to support the channel whatever the link is down in the description below so again
don't wait too long or it's gonna be gone. Hey everybody thanks for watching. You know
between this and Goosebumps and a couple of other shows and like videos I've done here
and there there's kind of this common thread with the 90's people of like my generation
y'know where it's like oh the 90's were so much better everything was better in the 90's
y'know but like y'know when you actually go back and watch the movies and TV shows and
whatever back then it's like things things were not that good um some things were better
most things weren't. Most things just didn't make any sense at all. It was like it was
like this Wild West time where like anything goes there was just so many weird movies and
TV shows and things that made no sense whatsoever but like I said last week in my Goosebumps
video it's like y'know things in the 90's were certainly not that great but like things
nowadays I think are in some ways better and some ways like not y'know like I don't know
maybe I'm just more critical now than I was when I was a kid y'know when you were a kid
you could just wake up in the morning just get a big bowl of cereal you could just watch
any trash cartoon you didn't care 'cause it was Saturday morning you didn't have to go
to school it was the greatest day ever you know. So now with Halloweentown done that
concludes the October Halloween videos I did Goosebumps I did Halloweentown and next week
of course is Riverdale y'know finally getting ready to get that out there y'know it's been
a long time coming and of course after Riverdale I'm doing Sabrina y'know like I'm not really
sure if they're gonna release each episode individually every week like a regular show
or if they're gonna do it all at once 'cause it's distributed by Netflix so I'm not quite
sure how they're gonna do it so I'll have to figure out how to do it. Once again thanks
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it's there for you. Above all else have a great day everybody and I'll see you all next
time.