WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
MY NEXT GUEST IS A WRITER, COMEDIAN, PODCASTER, AND NOW,
THE CREATOR AND HOST OF "ADAM RUINS EVERYTHING" ON TRUTV.
PLEASE WELCOME, ADAM CONOVER!
(BAND PLAYING) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: NICE TO MEET YOU.
INCREDIBLE TO BE HERE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> Stephen: I LOVE THE WAY YOU'RE DRESSED.
VERY NATTY.
>> I TRY TO LOOK GOOD.
I DO MY BEST.
>> Stephen: I'M SURE YOU STAND OUT IN A CROWD.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU RUIN THINGS?
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO RUIN SOMETHING?
>> IT'S THE SUPERFICIAL IDEA OF OUR SHOW.
IT'S AN EDUCATIONAL COMEDY SHOW WHERE I TELL PEOPLE AWFUL TRUTH
ABOUT COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS OR CULTURAL TRADITIONS WE DON'T
OFTEN EXAMINE.
YOU'RE MARRIED, RIGHT?
>> Stephen: YEP.
GREAT.
WHEN YOU PROPOSED, YOU GOT YOUR FIANCEÉ AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
>> Stephen: YES, I GAVE IT TO HER LATER.
>> WE THINK OF IT AS BEING AN OLD TRADITION.
BUT THAT WAS INVENTED BY THE DIAMOND CARTEL IN THE '30s TO
SELL MORE DIAMOND RINGS THROUGH A MASSIVE AD CAMPAIGN, AND
EVERYBODY FORGOT ABOUT THE CAMPAIGN AND NOW IT'S THE BED
ROM TRADITION OF OUR SOCIETY.
>> Stephen: BUT A DIAMOND IS FOREVER.
>> YEAH, KIND OF, YOU KNOW -- >> Stephen: YEAH?
YEAH, AND ALSO THEY'RE NOT VERY VALUABLE.
>> Stephen: I THOUGHT SCARCITY DERMSZ VALUE.
>> EXCEPT THERE IS A DIAMOND CARTEL THAT CONTROLS ALMOST THE
ENTIRE WORLD'S SUPPLY OF DIAMONDS SO THEY RESTRICT THE
SUPPLY TO DRIVE THE PRICES UP.
>> Stephen: THEY COULD HAVE YOU KILLED FOR SAYING THAT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> YEAH.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE FAVORITE THINGS YOU RUINED?
>> OH, JEEZ.
>> Stephen: AND DO YOU HAVE JOY AT WATCHING THE LIGHT DRAIN
OUT OF SOMEONE'S HAPPY FACE?
>> I SURPRISE SOMEONE WHO HAS A MISCONCEPTION ABOUT THE WORLD.
>> Stephen: OTHERWISE HAPPY.
AND THEY SAY, OH, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN IT FOR ME?!
AND I SHOW THEM IT GIVES YOU MORE POWER IN THE WORLD TO KNOW
THE TRUTH SNOOF THAT'S A PHILOSOPHY, THEN?
>> YES, I WAS A PHILOSOPHY MAJOR IN COLLEGE.
>> Stephen: SO WAS I FOR TWO YEARS AND THEN I DECIDED TO DO
SOMETHING USEFUL.
( LAUGHTER ) AT THE END OF MY FRESHMAN 2016,
MY FIRST YEAR OF STUDYING, THE TEST WAS ONLY ONE QUESTION.
IS IT BETTER TO KNOW OR NOT TO KNOW.
AND THERE WAS NO TEST ALL YEAR.
JUST THAT ONE.
IS IT BETTER TO KNOW OR NOT TO KNOW AND SUPPORT YOUR ANSWER
WITH PHILOSOPHY.
>> IT'S INCREDIBLY BETTER TO KNOW.
>> Stephen: TELL THAT TO -- IS IT BETTER TO KNOW?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S IN MY HOT DOG.
>> CHICKEN, PORK, BEEF.
IF YOU KNOW, IT MAKES A WONDERFUL COMBINATION.
>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT THE THE FLY EYES AND RAT TAIL, THE STUFF
ALLOWED TO BE IN YOUR HOT DOG.
>> WELL, YOU CAN CHOOSE BETTER WHICH ONE TO GET.
I BELIEVE THERE IS NO VIRTUE IN IGNORANCE.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE A SPECIAL COME UP, "ADAM RUINS EVERYTHING,
ELECTION SPECIAL."
>> YEAH, THE "ADAM RUINS EVERYTHING, ELECTION SPECIAL."
>> Stephen: AND YOU HAVE BEEN TRAVELING AROUND THE UNITED
STATES.
>> YEAH, WE WENT ON THIS TOUR BUS, A BUS WITH MY FACE ON IT WE
DROVE TO 15 CITIES ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
THIS IS US DRIVING THROUGH THE WHITE SANDS DESERT WHICH IS A
POST-APOCALYPTIC FEELING TO DRIVE THROUGH A DESERT IN A BUS
WITH YOUR FACE ON IT.
AND AN AMERICAN FLAG.
IT MADE IT VERY HARD TO BE INCOG NEAT -- INCOGNITO.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU RUIN ELECTIONS?
>> THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE DOING INCREDIBLE COMEDY ABOUT
THE ELECTION.
THE ONE THING WE THOUGHT WE COULD ADD WITH THE SPECIAL IS
ADD AN HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE TO IT.
>> Stephen: IS THERE AN HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE ON THIS
ELECTION.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHO IS LIKE TRUMP?
A LOT OF EXAMPLES.
>> Stephen: NEVER BEEN A WOMAN.
>> THAT IS TRUE.
THERE ARE GENUINELY NEW THINGS ABOUT THE ELECTION, BUT PEOPLE
SAY, OH, WE'VE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE -- LIKE THE RHETORIC NAME
CALLING IS SO MUCH WORSE.
BUT IN THE ELECTION WHERE JEFFERSON WROTE AGAINST JOHN
ADAMS.
JEFFERSON HIRED A NEWSPAPER EDITOR TO WRITE INCREDIBLE
SLANDER ABOUT ADAMS IN THE PRESS, THAT HE WAS HORRIBLE
THINGS.
AND EVERYONE SAID WHEN TRUMP BRAGGED ABOUT THE SIZE OF HIS
PENIS, THAT WAS -- OH, WE CAN'T BELIEVE HE DID THAT, BUT L.B.J.,
LINDENL.B.J. -- LYNDON B. JOHNSO BRAGHTD ABOUT THE SIZE OF HIS
PENIS.
>> Stephen: BUT IN PRIVATE.
NO, THERE IS A VERY FAMOUS STORY WHERE HE PULLED OUT HIS
PENIS IN FRONT OF REPORTERS WHEN ASKED WHY THEY WERE INVADING
VIETNAM AND HE SAID THIS IS WHY.
HE WOULD WHIP IT OUT IN FRONT OF CONGRESS PEOPLE IN THE CAPITAL
BATHROOM AND SAY, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING AS BIG AS THIS?
>> Stephen: BECAUSE HE'S FROM TEXAS.
>> EXACTLY.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW, SO WE CAN FIND THOSE
POINTS OF COMPARISON AND THAT CAN HOPEFULLY RELIEVE OUR
ANXIETY ABOUT THE ELECTION BECAUSE EVERYONE IS SO UPSET.
>> Stephen: RUIN ORANGE JUICE.
EVEN ORANGE JUICE THAT SAYS 100% IS ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED.
>> Stephen: MOUTHWASH.
LISTERINE WAS INITIALLY SOLD AS A FLOOR CLEANER, LIST RINE
INVENTED THE TERM "HALITOSIS" IN THE 30s TO SELL IT AS A
MOUTHWASH.
>> Stephen: TOM HANKS.
OH, YOU CAN'T RUIN HIM.
H HE'S PERFECT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >
>> STEPHEN: THE "ADAM RUINS EVERYTHING, ELECTION SPECIAL"
IS ON TRUTV TOMORROW NIGHT AT 10:00.
ADAM CONOVER, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.