Shush! Just between us girls
have you ever been to jail?
You're laughing.
But, what if I told you that
every single person in this room
has been to jail
many, many times.
No, no, not just visiting someone in jail. I mean been to jail as a prisoner.
It's a jail that locks you up if you let it.
That jail is … the jail of your mind.
Zig Ziglar, my Dad's motivational guru, calls it stinkin' thinkin' and
who's my motivational guru? Of course, my Dad.
And speaking of stinking, he's been talking about the importance of positive thoughts since I was in diapers.
My Dad has a PhD in leadership.
Seriously!
But ... believe me, the real leader in my house is my Mom.
She's Chinese and according to her thinking I should be doing just one thing in life ...
excel … at everything.
Believe it or not. My mom's favorite word in the dictionary is actually my name, Sarah.
Mom, can I sleep in late tomorrow? Sarah!
Mom, I'm too scared to speak in front of hundreds of people. Sarah!
So here I am at age 10
ready to explain to you how you can break free from this jail in your head - this
stinkin' thinkin' - so that you too can excel at everything.
The question is … are you ready? I can't hear you.
Okay, well you already know that we literally lock ourselves up by the negative thoughts
we think, right? We keep repeating them and repeating them until we start believing them to be true.
Fake news in our head sounds like this:
I'm so stupid.
I'm useless.
Me and public speaking. You gotta be kidding.
Can you relate?
When you lock up your mind you limit your potential possibilities.
Negative beliefs and self doubts become your best friends.
Friends that your parents told you to stay away from because they were a bad influence.
When you get locked up in that jail of your mind you can't think straight.
You don't have the freedom to do what you need to do succeed.
You fail.
Did you notice that jail and fail sound the same?
Well, why in the world would a ten-year-old talk about this stuff?
Because I've been jailed too and I failed too.
Let me take you back to one of those times.
I'm eight years old and all excited because my parents are taking me skiing. Wahoo!
Grouse Mountain in Vancouver and the open gondola takes flight. My hair's flying too.
And I feel like a bird soaring high above the trees leaving behind the people below.
Even my Mother's excited!
In case you didn't know, Chinese moms never show their emotions in public.
It's a whole different story at home.
As I'm putting on the heavyweight jacket, mittens, goggles, helmet, boots.
The gear is so heavy and awkward for me that my Dad has to pretty much carry me from the ski rental shop to the hilltop.
And then … I look down … the very steep slope.
I don't know if you've ever seen a baby songbird standing nervously on the edge of the nest
knowing that her parents are gonna push her out. It's fly or die.
This slope is longer than an airport runway, a runway that's packed with snow.
Fear grips me I'm breathless. I need oxygen. I'm paralyzed. How can I ever do this?
I want to go home. I try to sit down, but my Dad won't let me.
He nudges the songbird forward. Forward ... down that slope. I'm terrified!
Is terrified to dramatic a word? Good. That's how I felt ... terrified!
Dad, please. I can't do this. I can't do this. I'm gonna fall and break my head. Come on Sara. Let's take off.
Take off. Take off. I'm not a bird. I'm not an airplane.
So I started thinking: stinkin' thinkin' about what's gonna happen when I take off.
I imagine my hands, legs and poles flying in every different direction until I fly into a tree and break every bone in my body.
And then I hear the voice. It's the motivational guru.
Now stop that stinkin' thinkin' Sarah. Visualize success, not failure.
Humph! Easy for him to say.
Come on girl, I'm gonna be right behind you.
Behind me. Why can't he carry me? Hey Dad, piggyback? No?
But really, what are my choices? I can't retreat. I can't fly.
There's only one way to go … down!
Dad said "Just take one small step Sara." Yeah, who am I? Neil Armstrong on the moon?
That's one small step for man and one giant leap for … me.
I take the small step. Aaaggghhh! My eyes crisscross and my skis crisscross and my gear and I went
slipping and sliding and flying through the snow and air. Dad, where are the brakes?
I'm out of control and hurling down. I keep reminding myself. I can't do this. I can't do this. I'm going to fall and brake my head.
Well, the self talk worked.
I crashed ... many times and
every time I crashed I kept checking to see if anything was broken. Nope, nothing … except my spirit.
And then my Dad appeared.
Dad, please, I can't do this. Let's go home. I give up. I'll do better at piano. It's much safer. OK Dad, OK?
Now stop that stinkin' thinkin' Sarah. But Dad, you learned to ski at 30. Why can't I do the same?
Then with a look of hope and compassion
Dad said "Sarah, just be the mountain."
No, no, he didn't really say that.
What he actually said was "Come on Sarah, you can and you will, now get up and keep moving forward."
I can't remember if he said those words once or many times but they kept echoing in my mind.
"You can and you will."
I can. Yes, maybe I can and maybe I will.
So I get up with a little help from my Dad and I actually made it down the hill without becoming the Abominable Snowman.
Whew! Wow!
Great, I can do this. I just did this.
So proud, so joyous. Halleluiah, halleluiah, halleluiah, halleluiah.
Ha … sorry, maybe going a little bit overboard there.
Today, I love skiing. I enjoy the ride, the thrill of the wind in my face, the
freedom to roam and conquer the mountain.
Sometimes, I even believe that I am the mountain.
You know, every single day I see kids and adults
putting themselves in jail, setting up to fail.
I noticed my "cell mates" at school. They keep using the same negative self-talk when they face an obstacle.
I can't do cartwheels.
Everyone will laugh at me when I try ballet.
Leadership. No, thanks. I'd rather be a follower.
Even my teachers are saying "This is so frustrating. Why are kids such hard work. Grade fivers are so challenging."
What I've seen is … it's not people's abilities that prevents them from succeeding it's stinkin' thinkin' that's their problem and my problem too.
But … if you don't believe a ten-year-old, you will believe Dr. Carolyn Leaf a brain scientist.
In her research, Dr. Leaf puts brains under an electron microscope.
Brains have stinkin' thinkin' scrawled all over them. These brain scans show a tangled mess of neuron networks.
the scans look like what happens when Snoopy goes berserk chasing Grandma's balls of knitting wools.
A chaotic mess.
But brains that have positive attitudes all show up as well-organized, tree-like structures -
trees that have strong roots, multiple branches, fresh leaves.
Trees that will surely bear good fruit.
Remember that he is born with negative beliefs. That's why babies don't worry, lose sleep or get stressed.
So as long as they can get a hug, make faces, splash water, and eat mushy peas they're happy.
These negative beliefs, self doubts, fears, anger, frustration, depression are made up by us as we grow up.
Believe me, 10 year olds have stresses and worries too - like ... how to raise good parents.
I spoke early on about a jail that trapped you and limits your endless potential
Well, it's time to bust out. No parole. No fear.
Even the Bible says "God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and love and sound mind."
It is time to stop creating negative thoughts. It is time to stop receiving negative thoughts.
It is time to stop stinkin' thinkin'.
Remember these: I'm so stupid. I'm useless. I can't do this.
No, don't remember these. Forget them.
Let's change our minds together.
Think right now. What is that one thing that you want to release from the jail of your mind?
For me, it's probably when I flush the toilet, I'm scared I might get flushed down with it. What about you?
Got it. OK. So with that in mind, repeat after me: "I am powerful.
I am intelligent.
I can do this. I will do this."
See you said it yourself. You broke free from the jail in your head.
Now, all you have to do is believe it and you too will be ready to make your Mom very proud
and excel, at everything. Thank you.