(groaning)
(exhales)
- Somebody got lost in the kitchen again, huh?
- The uterus wants, what the uterus wants.
- Okay, well at least you're not pregnant.
- Semi-fact.
Impregnated women have menstruated before.
They're called my mother.
(bag crinkling)
- J. Alana.
Jourdan,
Alana.
It's fine, whatever.
Enjoy.
Oh, brother.
- (singing) I keep bleeding, I keep keep bleeding blood
(hiccups)
Blood!
(jazzy hip hop music)
Ay!
Yo, my menses be the worst!
Like, I have to call out of work over this shit.
- Wait, don't you have to have a job to call out of to...?
- Life is a job.
- That's dark.
- Yo, and my beriod be getting extra thick now.
Like, look at it.
See it?
- You and the damn beriod.
She's the only one that calls it that.
- The beriod is the beard that a woman grows
while she's getting her period.
- I think they get it.
But don't you think that has to do with the fact
that we're getting ol--
- Don't say it!
The O Word is not allowed in our vocabulary.
- But let's be real.
Time's ticking, and we're--
- Your thoughts shape your words,
and your words shape your reality, okay?
You say it, and you speak it into existence!
- Okay, Tony Robbins!
- Damn!
- Yeah, too soon. - Too soon.
- Sorry.
- Listen, black don't crack,
and Latin stay smooth like satin.
Okay?
Excuse me, sir?
How old do you think we are?
- Uh, 22, 23?
- That's good. - Yas.
- What about now?
- Oh, now?
Definitely 25 and 32.
- A whole quantum leap?
- You should've listened to your gut, sir.
- Yeah, and yours looks like it shouts.
- I'm insulted.
- You!
- Well, how old are you?
- You don't get to ask that!
- Damn!
- The caucacity!
- We're 24. - 23-4!
- 24!
- Are you calling me fat?
Are you calling me fat?
- Someone will go lower.
- A thousand percent.
- I'm over it, actually.
- Hey, girl!
- Hi!
2 mani-pedi?
- Uh, no.
I just have a quick question.
So, it's kind of random,
so kind of bear with us.
If you could guess--
- How old do you think we are,
May?
- Okay...
28?
You look younger, you kinda, mmm.
- My turn!
- You 23?
Yeah, you lose weight too.
Ginger tea,
- Okay.
- Would look younger and skinner.
- Well, we're gonna get out of here.
Thanks for your--
- Thanks,
May.
- Pay now, or pay now-now?
- Excuse me, we didn't get anything, right?
- You ask, I give!
This nothing free!
No.
(car horn honks outside)
- F-fire!
- Oh!
- There's a, there's a fire. - Oh, look!
- It's smokin.
- Go, go.
- Hey!
(giggling)
(yells in foreign language)
- Oh, I'd give you like a...
- Uh?
- 20, 25?
20, 26?
- 21?
24? 5?
- You have these fine lines around your mouth,
- 22. 22 and 23.
- I think this is a setup.
- That means the quarter-century ship
has clearly sailed away, sailed away, sailed away.
- [Jourdan] Take this!
- You have these, somebody ending the world now,
lines around your eyes.
That means you definitely past 27.
- [Alana] Put these on!
- 30!
- That ass.
- That, yes! That ass!
That outfit, girl!
You lookin lit, that headwrap is bomb!
And you!
These girls, bounce bounce!
Y'all better work!
- Yas, thanks boo, you too!
- Thanks, girl.
We cute!
- (singing) We cute and shit, we cute and shit--
- Wait, I'm actually kind of mad
that they guessed that you looked older than me.
- Well, I guess that just means they think I'm more mature.
- Right.
(jazzy hip hop music)