-THE NEW HAMPSHIRE PRIMARIES WERE A MEDIA CLUSTER[BLEEP]
AND "THE DAILY SHOW" NEWS TEAM WAS THERE TO BE A PART OF IT.
AND WHEN THE CAMERAS STOPPED ROLLING,
WE CONFRONTED OUR COLLEAGUES
WITH SOME HARD-HITTING QUESTIONS.
-I FEEL LIKE WE ALL DID AN AMAZING JOB.
WOULDN'T YOU SAY THAT?
-I WOULD SAY, ABSOLUTELY.
-DO YOU THINK MAYBE WE COULD WIN A PULITZER?
-MAYBE NOT. PROBABLY NOT. NO.
-YOU ARE A REP...OR...TER.
-CORRESPONDENT.
-CORRESPONDENT. CORRESPONDENT. ME TOO.
I'M A CORRESPONDENT AS WELL.
AND YOU ARE ON THE...
-THE AIR. -ME TOO.
-OH, MY GOD. SO MUCH IN COMMON.
-YEAH.
-YOU'VE DONE A LOT OF INTERVIEWS.
WHAT DO YOU DO TO KEEP SOMEONE FROM INTERRUPTING YOU?
-KEEP THEM FROM INTERRUPTING --
-I MEAN, LIKE, IF IT'S LIKE A REALLY CRAZY SITUATION.
ANY TYPE OF EVENT LIKE THAT,
HOW DO YOU KEEP PEOPLE FROM INTERRUPTING YOU?
-YOU CAN'T REALLY KEEP THEM FROM --
-BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE A TOTAL DICK MOVE
IF I JUST KEPT INTERRUPTING YOU.
-YEAH. WELL, YOU KNOW...
-WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU, LIKE, GO HOME AT NIGHT
AND YOU CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP
BECAUSE YOU JUST FEEL SO SAD AND DEAD INSIDE?
-I, UH...
-JOURNALISTICALLY SPEAKING.
-JUST TRY TO THINK OF ANOTHER STORY.
-'CAUSE YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON AND YOU DESERVE TO LIVE AND TO GO ON
AND BE THE BEST JORDAN YOU CAN BE.
-YEAH!
-DON'T YOU JUST WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND SAY TO YOURSELF,
"I AM SO GOOD AT MY JOB.
I DID SUCH A GREAT JOB TODAY"?
-UM...NO.
-YOU DON'T WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND SAY,
"WOW, I'M REALLY BEAUTIFUL AND REALLY TALL AND REALLY BLACK
AND I'M SO GOOD AT JOURNALISM"?
YOU DON'T DO THAT EVERY DAY?
-I MEAN, I'M NOT BLACK -- THAT PART.
-THAT'S TRUE. THAT IS TRUE.
-WHERE DOES A BROTHER HAVE TO GO TO GET SOME BLOW AROUND HERE?
-I DON'T DO DRUGS.
-NEITHER DO I.
BUT IF I HAD TO GET SOME, WHERE WOULD I GO?
-I HAVE NO IDEA.
-NEITHER DO I. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IT WOULD BE.
-WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING TONIGHT? -TEQUILA.
-TEQUILA.
I WANTED YOU -- I WANTED TEQUILA.
YOU KNEW I WANTED TEQUILA.
-YOU SAID WATER.
-NO, I TOLD YOU I WANTED TEQUILA.
SHE'S DRINKING TEQUILA.
YOU [BLEEP] KNEW IT!
-OKAY, I'M SORRY.
-THIS WHOLE TIME I'VE BEEN HOLDING H2O LIKE AN IDIOT.
-HOW DO YOU SNAPCHAT TO REPORT THE NEWS?
-WELL, YOU SNAPCHAT, AND THEN IT GOES AWAY IN LIKE 15 SECONDS.
-YEAH, EXACTLY.
I THOUGHT SNAPCHAT WAS USED TO TAKE PICTURES OF YOUR DICK
AND SEND IT TO OTHER PEOPLE SO THEY WOULD DISAPPEAR --
THERE'D BE NO EVIDENCE.
-I AM NOT GOING THERE.
-I DON'T DO DRUGS.
-I DON'T DO DRUGS EITHER, RIGHT?
I JUST GOT THESE ROLLING PAPERS.
SOMEBODY GAVE THEM TO ME, ALL RIGHT?
BUT I'LL HEAD OVER TO THAT TALL GUY WITH THE SUIT, RIGHT?
-[ CHUCKLES ]
-I GOT YOU. I GOT YOU.
I'LL SEE YOU IN THE STALL. OR "NOT SEE YOU IN THE STALL."