WELCOME BACK, FOLKS.
YOU KNOW MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT AS SAWYER IN "LOST."
HE NOW STARS IN THE USA NETWORK DRAMA, "COLONY."
PLEASE WELCOME JOSH HOLLOWAY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪
>> Stephen: WOW.
BILLY JOEL WAS JUST SITTING HERE, YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: DO YOU FEEL THE GREATNESS?
DO YOU FEEL THE GREATNESS IN THE SEAT?
>> I SHOULD PROBABLY SIT OVER THERE, BECAUSE IT'S TOO GREAT
FOR ME.
>> Stephen: THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
NO, FANTASTIC.
WHO GETS TO COME ON AND HAVE BILLY JOEL OPEN FOR YOU?
COME ON!
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: THIS JOB DOESN'T
SUCK IS WHAT I LEARN EVER SO OFTEN.
>> IT'S KIND OF GOOD.
>> Stephen: I HAVE ONE BONE TO PICK WITH YOU.
YOU HAVE A TAN.
IT'S JANUARY.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
>> I HAVE BEEN IN HAWAII, MY FRIEND.
I JUST GOT BACK.
>> Stephen: YOU WENT TO VISIT THE SMOKE MONSTER?
>> THERE THEY CALL IT PACA.
>> Stephen: THEY DO?
I'M KIDDING.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT SURE I WOULD WANT TO GO TO THE BEACH
AFTER EATING OVER CHRISTMAS.
>> IT WAS A NOTE TO SELF -- DO NOT SCHEDULE YOUR BEACH VACATION
AT THE END OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON BECAUSE YOU ARE SPORTING THE DAD
BOD LIKE THERE'S NO BUSINESS, YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: I COULD GO DAD BOD TO DAD BOD FOR YOU.
>> DUDE, READY.
>> Stephen: BUDDY, NO.
I WOULD BEAT YOU TODAY, SO I'M NOT GOING TO SPORT IT
BECAUSE I COULD REALLY GET THERE.
SO I WAS SPORTING THE DAD BOD ON THE BEACH BEFORE MY KIDS WAKE
UP.
>> Stephen: HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS?
>> I HAVE A 3-YEAR-OLD O THIS MONTH, HUNTER, AND JAVA IS 7.
SO I'M BUILDING A SAND CASTLE, HOT.
SUN COMES UP AND MY DAUGHTER IS, LIKE, DAD, PUT A SHIRT ON.
IT'S, LIKE, WHY, BABY?
WE'RE AT THE BEACH.
YOU'RE FAT.
I'M, LIKE -- >> Stephen: IS YOUR 7-YEAR-OLD
CALLING YOU FAT?
>> YES.
SHE SAW MY EXPRESSION.
SHE GOES -- JUST A LITTLE, DADDY.
JUST A LITTLE.
LIKE SHE'S TRYING TO SAVE ME FROM IT.
AT THE SAME TIME I'M LOOKING DOWN LIKE THIS AND MY BOY YELLS
AT SOME GIRL THAT WALKS BY IN A G STRING, AND I'M, LIKE, WHERE
DID YOU LEARN THAT WORD?
>> Stephen: KIDS ARE HUMBLING.
YES!
>> Stephen: I'M FROM SOUTH CAROLINA.
YOU'RE FROM GEORGIA, I UNDERSTAND.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU FROM REAL GEORGIA OR ARE YOU FROM, LIKE,
ATLANTA?
>> I WOULD BE MORE DIRT ROAD AND DOGS.
>> Stephen: WHAT PART OF THE STATE ARE YOU FROM?
>> NORTH GEORGIA.
>> Stephen: UP NEAR TENNESSEE, SOUTH CAROLINA.
>> WHERE WE WOULD GET OUR FIREWORKS BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T
LEGAL.
>> Stephen: SOUTH CAROLINA, WE HAVE A DEATH WISH, ALL FIREWORKS
ARE LEGAL IN SOUTH CAROLINA.
>> LEGAL?
>> Stephen: TOTALLY.
THEY'RE FANTASTIC.
THEY HAVE WEARHOUSES UP THERE IN YOUR PART OF THE WOODS THAT YOU
CAN BLOW UP AMERICA.
THEY HAVE, LIKE -- NOT THAT WE NEED --
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY.
WHAT WAS THAT?
( LAUGHTER ) WHAT WAS THAT GESTURE YOU WERE
JUST DOING?
BECAUSE WE CAN'T SHOW THAT ON CBS.
I'M GOING TO SAY THAT'S A ROCKET.
>> THAT WAS A ROCKET, YES.
>> Stephen: NOW, THE NEW SHOW YOU'VE GOT ON U.S.A. IS CALLED
"COLONY" ABOUT ALIENS WHO HAVE LANDED IN LOS ANGELES AND
THEY'VE TAKEN OVER PART OF THE GOVERNMENT, RIGHT?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: YES?
YES.
>> Stephen: ARE THE ALIENS MORE VICIOUS THAN MOST PEOPLE IN
LOS ANGELES?
PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD?
>> CAN WE SAY EQUAL?
>> Stephen: SURE, OKAY.
O MY GUY IS AN F.B.I. AGENT, AND WHEN THE WALLS WENT UP, WE
HAD THE IDEA FIRST, BOZO.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT.
NOBODY.
SO THE WALLS GO UP, OUR FAMILY IS SEPARATED, AND MY GUY IS
TRYING TO GET THEM BACK TOGETHER AND SURVIVE.
SO IT'S CENTERED AROUND A FAMILY, BUT IT'S A MICROCOSM FOR
THE ENTIRE PLANET.
>> Stephen: DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALL YENS?
>> I DO.
THERE MUST BE ALIENS.
LOOK AT ME.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT YOU?
ONLY AN ALIEN WOULD CONSIDER THAT A DAD BOD.
( LAUGHTER ) >> THERE HAS TO BE ALIENS,
RIGHT?
>> Stephen: I WOULD LIKE THIS THINK THERE ARE ALIENS BUT WHY
HAVEN'T THEY CONTACTED US YET?
>> THEY'RE PUTTING IN THE PROXY GOVERNMENT NOW, IF YOU HAVEN'T
FIGURED THAT OUT.
>> Stephen: POSSIBLE.
MEET MEET.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
SEASON 2 OF COLONY STARTS THURSDAY ON U.S.A. NETWORK.
JOSH HOLLOWAY, EVERYBODY!