Bro are we gonna kiss right now?
The air is full of hate!
Hello underachievers.
Today I'm here with Corry again,
because when I'm sad I can't film on my own.
You didn't tell me that's why I was here.
- So if you spent a lot of time on the Internet - I have.
And you've also spent a lot of time near straight boys.
You have.
You would have heard the saying:
"I'm not gay, but..."
"I'm not a gay butt..."
- Yeah, I get it. - I don't think you do.
You've not got a gay butt,
you've got a very masculine
heterosexual ass.
So, people usually say like:
"I'm not gay, but..."
before saying something kind of gay.
I'm not gay, but
Noah Finnce.
Am I doing it right?
- Have I understood? - Still not. Quite got it.
I'll get there!
What was I gonna say?
- Something stupid, probably. - Yeah, probably.
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
If you sit on my lap, you'll be like a little puppet.
We could draw little lines on your mouth.
It's very interesting what straight people think gay is nowadays.
We're going to react to what straight people think is gay.
Fragile heterosexuality!
Let's get into it!
I can't think of anything that's gay.
Painting your nails.
Oh yeah, that's gay.
And like, hugging your dad.
Having a small dog.
Nothing says: "I like taking up the [ ]"
like having a little small dog.
So we've got the classic:
"I'm straight but that's incredible" with a picture of the sunset.
It's cause it's got pink.
Pink is gay!
- Pink is pretty... - But Pink isn't gay, though.
- Pink isn't gay. - She's not. I thought she was a lesbian.
But she isn't.
Oh my God, the singer Pink!
Is it gay to enjoy the sun?
It's gay to enjoy someone's son.
I thought this was your hair.
It's a long yellow thread!
There's actually nothing here!
There's actually...
This is from a girl and she said:
- It's a bit gay. - Bi?
- But bi is a bit gay. - No.
But I'm bi, I'm a bit gay.
OK, there you go. That's fine. Trouble averted.
Someone is typing angrily like:
"How dare you?!"
I personally am bi and a bit gay.
- You're bi, you're not a bit gay. - No.
Do you remember see that thing, you're just like:
"Oh, I'm not gay but my boyfriend is".
That was fine. I really missed that.
I'll take all the titties on my brain.
A singular tit, just sagging solo.
Bouncing up and down.
What are you doing?
Because this is the titties going up and down.
You know sometimes when you shake your head
and you can feel your brain rolling around.
No, because there's no space in my skull.
My brain is humongous.
Well, like that, but with titties.
- That's gay. - That's so gay.
I thought these were going to be things that weren't gay.
You can't just say "I'm not gay", but then gay things.
I have no words for, it's like "no homo".
Yeah, but you can't say "no homo" after like, pounding your best friend in the ass.
You could.
But it wouldn't be true.
- That makes entirely so much sense. - It does make sense, though.
They very much were very clear about the fact that they're not gay.
Which is good.
- But if they were... - But if they were gay they'd [ ].
Yeah, they'd [ ]
- But they're not. - But not, they're not gay.
Like they'd never [ ]
- But like, if you thought about it, like... - But like...
Maybe if like there was the right guy that came along and, you know,
like he was really nice.
- Have like nice shoulders. - And he treated you well, you know?
- Round butt. - And like, then, you'd like maybe [ ] him.
But only if you were gay!
Not like for any other reason.
- But you're not, so... - No.
What if he like wear make up?
Does that make it more gay or less gay?
If you're a straight man, you're attracted to a guy in makeup.
It's more gay because wearing makeup is gay.
And if one person is gayer and it's gay...
So, if you're like a guy and you're straight and you're like a bro.
- You're like a chad... - Yeah.
And you like a Kyle.
- That's not as gay as liking like...
- What's uh...? - James Charles.
- We'll just say James Charles. - Yeah.
If it's like masc4masc, it's not gay.
They're like straight acting looking for sex like,
OK, cool. Right.
But when you're on your knees taking a massive like big [ ] in your mouth.
Are you gonna act straight then?
Where does it end, sir? Where does it end?
- I know what would solve this. - What?
A slap on the arse.
That makes everything straight!
- I used to slap my friends on the arse. - Did you?
Yeah, we used to slap.
And in the face.
Hanging the balls.
Lots of places, really.
- That's gay. - But it's quite masculine.
No, that's gayer, I think.
So, is it more gay to like Christian...?
- What's his name? - Christian Grey.
Is it more gay to like Christian Grey or James Charles with a titty implant?
What is more gay?
I think it's more gay to like Christian Grey.
That's because there's no titties involved.
Those tits could belong to...
Your mother!
Why would you go there?
I just thought that babies like tits, but for different reasons.
- Babies are so lesbian. - It depends on the gender of the babies.
Mommy please!
BOOBIE!
You could be gay and depressed.
In fact,
statistically, you probably would be.
Can there be one without the other?
- Yes! - Can you be gay and happy?
Gay people can't be happy.
Is not funny because gay actually means "happy".
It did, until the gays co-opted it and took it for them.
Just like they did with marriage.
Marriage was sad and awful and gays made it good again!
At what point did like the word "gay" stop meaning "happy"?
"Gay" used to mean happy, and then, it became a euphemism,
and then, it stopped being euphemism and just started being the word for "gay".
And now, because "gay" is bad,
you can't call anything gay.
That's not gay.
It's not gay at all.
I kiss the rats. Is that gay?
- They're all boys. - They are rodents.
- But they hump each other. - That's not gay.
If you kiss a gay rat, it doesn't make you gay.
- No! - Even if you're a man...
Only if that gay rat turns into like a gay rat prince.
- That is gay. - To kiss a rat would it turn into a frog?
No. You don't understand magic.
So, this guys says:
I think complimenting a guy as a guy isn't gay,
but when you say you're not gay "but"
and then you compliment them is gay.
The reason that you've got to say
"it's not gay to compliment a guy"
is because complimenting a guy is gay.
- But it's not! - No, but it is.
I think saying "I'm not gay, but..."
or saying like "no homo, but..."
makes it gay.
- Yeah, but it is... - It's like when you meet someone, you're like:
"Oh my God. I'm so awkward".
It's like it wasn't awkward until you said it.
But it shouldn't, right?
It shouldn't be gay to compliment a guy as a guy.
But it is. Society said that it is.
So you've gotta go like get ahead of that and be like:
"Look. I'm not gay. I'm just gonna try to be nice to you".
But by saying you're not gay, we all know that like...
I did stop listening.
- I'm sorry. - That's fine.
Yeah.
They are gay! They make the yuletide gay!
You know?
- Yeah. - Yeah, everything is gay.
Men don't know how to be nice to each other.
- No. - Like it's difficult.
I just feel like a tip for this would be like:
"Hey Alex! I like your outfit!"
Are you coming on to him?
- Why would you like his outfit? Why would you say...? - How is that coming on to him?
- And say "hey, I like your t-shirt". - Whoa!
"Also, your eyes look pretty".
- Dude... - "Bro... Would we kiss right now?"
Like, what?!
Like, no. Just compliment his outfit.
Doesn't it feel gay when we go outside?
No matter who we're with, and we look at the stars,
and we're like: "Whoa..."
- No. - You don't feel it gay?
I don't think space feels gay.
I think space feels a bit gay.
No, I just think like the act of like
being outside in the dark.
Everywhere is quiet.
You're alone under the lamppost and looking up at the sky
and you and your hommies are like "whoa..."
I don't think that's gay,
I think that's a solid very fun activity for a group of men,
or women or non-binary people
to perform together.
- I just think stargazing with just men it's like... - You call it "stargazing"?
- That's [ ] gay! - Well that's what it is!
It's not, but you made it gay!
I'm just like thinking of like when we're walking down the road and like:
"Oh, look at those stars".
I'm like: "Yeah, look at those stars".
That's not gay until you call it "stargazing".
It's...
It's gay.
"[...] But I'm afraid some day he will find someone and move out".
- No... Stop. - "Like I could live my life..."
That's really sad.
"[...] And I don't think I will enjoy life as much as I'm doing right now".
Oh, that's cute.
- I think the word he's looking for is "friendship". - Yeah.
Well, it's a healthy male friendship, isn't it?
- Which you don't get to have. - Yeah.
Well, you've got a girlfriend and you can talk about everything with her.
Or, to her, because she's your emotional support girlfriend.
And you've got friends who you can
watch movies and play video games with,
but you're not allowed to talk to them about your feelings.
But then this is like, both of them in one person.
Yeah. That's what like, you know, most friends and relationships should be:
People that you can talk to and play with.
Yes, straight men don't get to have that.
"[...] Mysteriously has been single for many years".
- Confirmed bachelor. - I'm so excited what's happening.
I do love these stories, though. I love them.
- "[...] Not as a partner". - But you kiss.
Yeah, I didn't read that bit, until now.
"I love you as a brother!" *kiss, kiss, kiss*
You not kiss your brother when you're drunk?
Don't say that.
- Do you kiss your brother? - No!
- The air is full of hate! - You spat on my leg.
"[...] It would hurt to walk away from this man".
Dude, just have a [ ] conversation!
Don't go to Reddit, just say:
"Hello man that I have been sleeping with and kissing".
"So, I found this person on Reddit".
No! Just be like:
"Hello man-friend, who is like my brother
that I sometimes kiss and also cuddle.
What is our relationship?
And where will it go?
Because you see, this is how I feel and I don't want..."
That's it! That's all you got to do,
just say: "This is how I feel.
What are we going to do?"
Wonder how he's doing now.
- I don't think that conversation happened. - No. I don't think it did.
That's the end of the video.
Hope you enjoyed.
Did you learned anything today?
You're very homophobic.
What I said?
- You let me say things. - Right.
So, have a good day or don't!
See you later losers!
Goodbye!
No! Not the feet.
Not the feet. No!
Not the same foot again.
I'm saying goodbye, I'm waving.