good afternoon yes ma'am i have a traffic report for you uh what's that uh i'm i'm at uh between 75
and 76th on columbus i'm headed south and uh everything seems to be uh moving along okay
okay well i hear that on the radio everything's normal everything seems to be okay was there
something wrong there before i don't know i'm just driving through now no we don't put one
we only report when things are backed up oh all right well i keep my eyes open okay thanks bye
cnns good afternoon hi i'll tell you what do you have stuff in there to clean like uh car windows
like a windex and maybe a squeegee or something yes we do i i'm interested in buying the equipment
but i was wondering if somebody could come out to my car and clean my windshield for me now
yes ma'am i have some traffic information for you
i'm heading uh north on amsterdam at 92nd street and it's backed up for it seemed
like there's about 30 or 40 cars backed up here okay wait a minute i'm sorry ma'am
yeah i think it was just a red light it's moving okay now okay all right thank you bye
hello regis yeah it's dave letterman how are you
i'm standing in the lobby all right we're coming right by regis
you you run out blow it wave and blow us a big kill absolutely okay there he is nice to see you
how you doing you look like a million bucks that's a that's a beautiful jacket thank you regis
newsroom yes sir i'm phoning with a news item that i thought maybe you'd be interested in having
yes uh i was driving in my car uh south on columbus and uh on the sidewalk standing on
the sidewalk i saw regis philbin the tv guy is that anything no not really wins newsroom
do you know of any problem spots you'd like me to cover we have reporters that do that for us
through shadow traffic sir i understand but i i just i have i have this new car phone and i
have the afternoon off oh i have no idea what they cover you can call them up and ask them
you think it'd be better if i was like near the bridges or something would that help call them
up and ask them i have no idea what their coverage is but like when there's a big huge traffic tie up
you'd want to know wouldn't you sir i don't know where their coverage is where they send out their
trucks to go spot you'd have to call them up well i got the rest of the day off in this new carport
i'm happy to do what i can okay and we appreciate it but you have to call them up and give them the
information okay could you send me like a news buster t-shirt or something we don't have any
t-shirts to give don't you have like a a news a 10 10 wins news buster t-shirt i i said we don't
we don't have any no we don't hey a bus just pulled off and and kind of a strange-looking
guy just got off is that anything i have to go i'm sorry okay but he's really odd-looking
you just got off the bus you don't want to know about this guy goodbye huh hello
hello the guy right out front now eating watermelon
a guy's eating watermelon it's a tall guy with a red and blue baseball cap on and a blue shirt
stuff delicious
you ever tried this watermelon tasty good oh something do what this is yeah do you have a fork
no i haven't paid yet how much how much is this
i haven't paid
oh
hello hey congratulations you won what's your name please
you had two tickets to see ac dc at the meadowlands all right are
you psyched definitely who who plays your favorite hits yeah congratulations hey bye
hello hi did you just get a call about some uh ac dc tickets at the meadowlands
yeah yeah it's a mistake i'm sorry you're not gonna be able to go oh can we play a song for you
sure what would you like to hear pinball wizards who plays your favorite hits
hello yeah i'm sorry this is z100 again uh we we can't find pinball wizard anything else
do you think that the fuchsia top really goes with those lavender shorts
yes sir i'm heading down second uh just right close to the roosevelt island tram you know
and uh it looks i don't know if it's loose or or not but it looks pretty scary today
sure yeah you've been calling us all day and harassing us we would appreciate it if you
would stop this and if you do have a legitimate traffic story we would appreciate it if you called
shadow traffic right what have you seen that tram has anybody taken a look it looks really scary
yes ma'am i have some traffic information for you i'm up on the upper east side about the
68th and the second and i just saw a guy on a white buick make an illegal u-turn all right
you don't have to call us every hour with your traffic update okay okay now listen
listen i'm gonna get something to eat so i won't be able to call in for a few minutes
don't call us with traffic information unless it's like major
all right here's what i didn't tell you i think i think the guy was drunk okay
hey hey how about this he had a gun he had a gun ma'am
yes ma'am i got a big john's moving truck in front of me and i'm calling to comment on his driving
well he seems to be okay but i must say at the last light it seemed like he accelerated kind of
quickly no no not through a yellow or anything just like he hopped right on the gas you know
now we're rolling now i can i can tell you more here
okay we're going through an intersection that's all right so far it's okay
all right hello i'd have to say we're all right so far how far should i follow him
you know what i want to do i'd feel better if i could check him on a turn
i wonder if he can answer some questions for me yeah are you responsible for antennas
nope what about low muffler no what about loose molding no what about rusted body parts what
about non-factory items no no responsible for none of that but it's hard to breathe in here
now i i got i think it might be carbon monoxide style mattress uh yes sir i'd like to order a
mattress please i'm trying to get it delivered to my car and then i'll just motor it up to my home
delivered to your car yep well how are we going to recognize you i'm in a red dodge
are you leaving off the last ask for saving yes we are all right let me hear you say that
put it right on top of the car i gotta drive home with it
we're in a big hurry i'm very sleepy i've never been this sleepy in my life
you