how well can you persuade and influence
Stay tuned. This is Damon Cart from NLP Gym
how to manipulate people
NLP mind control part 3
this is the third video in a series of
three videos about manipulation
persuasion and influence using NLP if
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the more sensory based words you use
when you're persuading someone better
the more clearly you can paint that
picture of where you want them to go the
more likely they are to go there it's
what you often hear when you're in our
creative writing class but they say show
don't tell
so you can tell a person this is what
they should and should not do but when
you make it about the visual what are
they going to see or you put that visual
on their mind and then you talk about
what they might hear and what they might
feel the more you can bring these
sensory words in to describing about
what it is where it is you want them to
go there mind makes these images and
sounds and it becomes or more of a
reality to this becomes really important
especially when they raised objections
person raises an objection
you don't want to restate the objection
which is you often hear and sales
training is that you repeat the other
person's words to gain report
well not once you've gotten beyond the
report part once you've got the report
and they started raising objections you
want to reframe and go the direction
that you want to take them so for
example just to be able to sit here say
you're trying to sell them an elephant
and they say well I don't want an
elephant
one of course if you say so you don't
want to know if you want two hearts what
you're doing is you're putting that
image of a horseback in their mind or
you know just by saying oh you you know
you don't want to parse if you try to
overcome their objection by telling them
the officer and getting what it is that
they want you're still putting that
image of a horse and their mind and
that's what they're seeing when they
have to understand what it is that
you're sending they have to make these
images so you might want to say
something like well let's set that aside
for a moment so you're saying to put
that image out of the way and think for
a moment about the elephant or then you
start going around about selling the
altar so you're putting that image of
what it is you want them to the
direction you want to go in their minds
it's important to understand that the
unconscious doesn't process negation the
conscious mind is the party that negates
something but before it can even get it
you have to make some sort of sensory
image or sound or something of what the
person saying so when you say don't
think of blue you have to think a little
bit in the conscious mind can go
ok not supposed to think about that but
it's too late already thought of it so
be careful what you tell people not to
think in fact you can use it the
opposite way you can use a negation to
get people to think about the things
that you want to think about what's out
there realizing that that's what you're
trying to get them to think about so
again if you try to sell the elephant
you say well let's not think about the
elephant for right now would you just
basically told they're unconscious is to
think about the elephant right now
because the there's no obligation or the
unconscious has no way of mitigating
it's just pulling out the image of the
elephant regardless if you're saying to
not think about it
also when it comes to objections you can
reframe or redefine objections to soften
them the most common thing if you're in
cells that you're going you're going to
hear as a person saying that they don't
have enough money now rarely is this
actually the case because you put
something good enough in front of
someone they will find the money if they
see the value in it they're going to
find the money to get it but they're
basically saying when they say I don't
have money they're saying i don't see
enough value in this to actually fuck
over my hard earned money for this you
have to speak to an internal problem and
something in the more emotional you can
be about it the more likely you're able
to connect that value to what it is they
want so typically is going to be some
sort of problem that they're dealing
with you might want to rephrase there
objection by saying okay so what you're
experiencing is X and what you want to
experience is why and if i could show
you a way to solve X and feel why then
that would be worth your money is it not
there's also the question at the end is
it not
this is something that Milton Erickson used
to use a lot to influence people so by
saying is it not
you're getting them it's just natural
for us to go along with that to agree
with that yes they continue to object
then you want to take it away from them
so what do I mean by that it in at that
point they're still objecting you say
you can say something like well you know
what i think you're right i think this
is a good fit for you i'm going to make
a note of this i'm not going to offer
this to you again because it's obviously
not for you something weird happens in
this one's looking to take something
away from this suddenly we wanted i
discovered this whenever I was doing I
was really doing a lot of life insurance
cells are trying to do a lot of life
insurance sales and I kept calling
people i call them like once a month and
check in with them are you ready to do
this you ready to do this life insurance
because they were already clients online
they already had insurance policies
other insurance policies they just
didn't have this they sort of got the
feeling that I was always going to be
available to them at any time they
wanted they could just stop there
person could have some life insurance so
it didn't seem there's no urgency there
it didn't seem to down like something
they needed to take action on now so
about after the six times that I've
called these people what i would do was
a night I really got them on the phone I
was usually just leaving messages I
would leave them a message and say okay
you know this is the sixth time that
I've called you you use you say that you
don't have time to meet with me or you
don't have the money so i'm going to
close the case on this and I'm not going
to call you anymore about life insurance
and I'm not going to offer it to you
anymore but if you ever want to reopen
the case then by all means give me a
call it was amazing about fifty percent
of people who I did that with call me
back when you tell customers that ok
you're right maybe this isn't a good fit
for you i'm not going to offer to you
anymore
probably about half the people are going
to now suddenly want it because you're
taking it away the other half will
probably feel like that's what they
wanted that's what they think and
believe in that you're finally coming
around to their side of things
what it also does is they're going to
trust you more and feel like wow this
person wasn't pressuring me i'm going to
want to do business with this person in
the future maybe there's no business to
be done right now i also use this in
dating some people like to be chased and
I don't have a problem chasing as long
as I'm going to join but there have been
times where I'm sort of chasing women
and it's it so if it's kind of a game
and its fine there's there's a reward at
the end of it whereas in like they
finally get the date i like it did to be
with them whatever it is they don't all
get with that but there comes a certain
time though when you start to realize
this person just gets the sense that i'm
available all the time there's no
urgency to to solidify the date and go
out with me or commit to anything so
that's not tellin also ok you know it's
been fun
I've enjoyed talking you're getting to
know your whatever but you seem really
busy i'm going to
go do my thing I'm going to stop i'm not
going to be calling you anymore
sometimes I would just stop calling all
together and it's amazing it's like
student again once you're less available
once you take something away we want
something seems scared or unavailable
suddenly people want it and are willing
to take action on it was I know
manipulation sounds like something
that's really bad
we tend to think of it as someone who
has ill intent who does the manipulating
but again it's something we've been
doing since we were kids
it's something that we do naturally the
more you understand when you're doing
and how you're doing it getting clear
about your intent and using ecology it
actually makes things much better for
you and it makes things much better for
the person you're trying to persuade or
influence karma is a real thing we can
consciously mystery other people we
consciously create these delusions of
separation between myself and someone
else and if I can get myself to believe
that somehow i'm right and the other
person is wrong are somehow that other
person owes me something that's when
people feel the permission to take
advantage of people but the unconscious
does not see the separation the
unconscious sees everything is one so if
the unconscious is witnessing you
mistreating other people it doesn't seem
difference between the person you're
mistreating and you
so what happens is you start to mistreat
yourself you start to sabotage yourself
if you think of really greedy
manipulative people who hurt other
people and take advantage of other
people look at their lives they tend to
not treat themselves well they tend
their life tends to be in shambles
they tend to be quite this functional if
you treat other people well you are more
likely to treat yourself well you treat
yourself well you're more likely to
other people well karma is real in the
sense that if you mistreat other people
it comes back on you not because
necessarily the universe throws you that
thing's it comes back on you because you
start to treat yourself the way that you
treat other people
people make sure you're using ecology
when you're persuading and influencing
yes it is manipulation it kind of is a
dirty word and understand a little bit
better now that you have some clarity
around it you can go into the world
persuade and influence get what you want
and help people help other people get
what they want
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take care
haven't heard back from here or do you
keep saying you don't have time you
don't have money and so what I said
about it that little