it is time to find out
who will be tonight's Unexpected Star of the show.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
So, this is Verity Carlo.
There she is. That's Verity. CHEERING
She's a part-time barmaid and is now training to be a teacher.
She's coming to our fake shop front at the back of the theatre,
and this is what it looked like earlier today,
and this is what it is like now.
It's an art gallery. We've called it Framed. Hello!
LAUGHTER
And there's going to be an exhibition via an artist,
he's called "Rupet Dexta",
which is the best I could do to make an anagram out of Unexpected Star.
There are several letters missing.
LAUGHTER
So, she's working there tonight.
I'm going to show you around, actually, I think.
And she's been told that all the works of art, it's modern art,
everything's worth thousands of pounds, but actually,
it's worthless, nothing is worth anything...
LAUGHTER It's junk.
LAUGHTER
Those paintings there,
they've actually been done by three-year-olds.
Three-year-olds who aren't even particularly good at art, OK?
So these are...
LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH
They've all got really poncey names as well.
Yeah, this is called Deceased.
That's by Rupet Dexta, £2,000, the batteries. There's another...
LAUGHTER
It's junk!
APPLAUSE
All right. Do we have a picture of the black, the black painting?
All right, so here, it's just a painting that's black.
When he comes in, the artist, I'm going to get him to go mad
with, um, Verity, but it's the wrong way round, so...
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
But of course, I know that Verity loves to sing.
But she's only ever sung in the car, in the shower,
a little bit of karaoke, so her friends wanted to give her
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
And I believe her fiance is here?
AUDIENCE: Ooh! Mark?
OK, so, I think we can go live to the art gallery now and see,
hopefully...
Oh!
Can you confirm that that is your future bride, Verity?
There she is?
OK. She looks like she's having the most boring day.
LAUGHTER
Now...in with her there is Gemma.
Gemma, if you can hear me,
take a crafty sip of that alcohol on the table there.
I'm just going to...
LAUGHTER
Look at Verity's face.
You've got to, haven't you? Love it.
That's just taken the edge off.
Gemma, ask Verity what she honestly thinks of the art?
What do you honestly think of all this art?
It's horrendous?
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
I agree. How much would you pay for that?
Gemma, why don't we nick the batteries and just say,
"Batteries not included."
Why don't we just nick the batteries and say, "Batteries not included."
I think that'll make it worth more.
Gemma, say, "Have you met the artist?"
You've not met Rupert, have you? No.
No.
'He is...' OK. I'll be honest now. '..one of the most annoying...'
He's one of the most annoying... '..men, I've ever met.'
Men, I've ever met. In what sense?
'Completely embarrassing.'
Just completely embarrassing. 'He thinks he's a character...'
Well, he thinks he's a character, right, but...
'He's a joke.' He's a joke.
'He's just a wally.' He's just a wally.
'Try not to laugh when you meet him.'
OK, seriously, try not to laugh when you meet him, OK?
I don't know, who knows?
Who knows?
OK, send in Rupert.
Oh!
Hi, I'm Rupert.
This is all me.
Hi, there, we met. Hello... Gemma. Gemma, yeah.
Hello. Hi. And...?
I'm Verity.
Verity, a pleasure to meet you. And, you are? Rachel.
Rachel? Yes. Lovely. Lovely to meet you.
Rupert, stare at the black painting and go, "Oh, no!"
Oh!
It's upside down.
This is upside down.
Fix it, fix it, I can't even look.
I'm not even going to look. I'm so sorry.
It's such a big day for me. Yeah, I know.
Please, please, just turn it the right way up.
It's upside down at the moment. Ladies, can you just do that.
Can you just sort it and turn it upside down.
It's all right, it's all right. It's going to be fine. Just breathe.
Don't worry.
If you turn it...
You can look.
OK, slowly walk over and say, "It's perfect".
No, no, no,...
That's perfect.
LAUGHTER
Thank you so much.
Can you ask, ask Verity, say,
"Honestly, what do you think of my work?"
Honestly, what do you think of my work?
It's very interesting.
I've never seen anything like it before.
That's my favourite piece.
This? Yes, it's very good.
This is, I think, a very powerful piece.
One of my favourites.
This is 18 months.
Say, "You're going to get your head together, I'll see you later."
If it's all right with you,
I'm just going to get my head together... Sure.
And bring in some of the work.
'It's a very big night for me.' Great. It's a very important...
'I thank you for being part of it.' Thank you all for being part of it.
That's great. We're pleased to meet you.
'Thank you.' Thank you.
So now people are going to come to the exhibition and then we're
going to call her up to the stage to get some champagne
and then the walls will collapse and we're going to give her the biggest surprise of her life.
All I need you to do is be as quiet as you can when she's coming
up and then as soon as the walls come down,
you have to go completely nuts
to give her the maximum shock.
And, of course, I will immediately direct her towards her loved ones
so she can relax because she seems a little feisty.
LAUGHTER
I wondering whether she's just going to knock me out cold.
Right, we're all set. It's happening.
So...
This is our fake room.
So that is in there
and she's going to be sent up there to get more, I think, champagne.
That's the door that over there
and then those walls collapse and then we're going to give her
this amazing surprise.
OK, so let's bring her up.
Hello, everybody. Is it all right?
Rupert, thank you for coming down, much appreciated.
An absolute pleasure. It calls for a bit of champagne.
Can I just grab someone to... Do you just mind giving me a...
I'm not very good at carrying stuff. I'll give you a hand. Let's take a tray.
WHISPERS: She's coming, she's coming. So far, so good.
Shhhh.
Basically there's a few more people coming down
and I just think there's one person who's coming down
who's got quite a bit of money and they might want to buy something.
If we could turn it into a bit more of a gathering,
a bit more of a party... Mmm.
We might be all right.
So, yeah, if I get the champagne.
Ah, yeah, the tray's in here.
If you can just get one of them trays... We'll use that one.
And just fill that with a few flute glasses.
I'll just get the champagne, I'll be back in a minute.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
What?!
How did I get here?
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's our Unexpected Star Of The Show, Verity!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Come on.
Come and join me.
Oh, dear, Verity,
look it's your fiance, Mark.
There's Mum and Dad.
Who did this?
Well, tonight, Verity... You've been working next-door?
Yeah.
How's that been going? Yeah, it was awful.
So, Verity, Rachel who's been in on this whole thing
has got in touch with us and said that you like singing.
There they all are.
None of those people are real. Er...
Oh, my God!
Rupert, as you may have guessed...
He's ridiculous. ..is not an artist.
For God's sake, he was dreadful.
He's been putting you on the spot, and said, "What do you think?"
You said, "Interesting,"
which I thought was the most polite way of saying...
Terrible. Terrible.
So the plan is, Verity... Mmm.
You would be taken backstage and you've got to the end of the
show to prepare a performance, quite an exciting performance.
It will be you on this stage for all these people singing.
2,000 people...
My, God. ..who are very much rooting for you.
Verity, I just have to ask you to confirm.
Will you be tonight's Unexpected Star Of The Show.
I'd love to be, thank you. Yeah!
Please give all your love for our Unexpected Star of tonight's show.
It's Verity!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
MUSIC: Son Of A Preacher Man
# Billy Ray was a preacher's son
# And when his daddy would visit he'd come along
# When they gathered round and started talkin'
# That's when Billy would take me walkin'
# Through the back yard we'd go walkin'
# Then he'd look into my eyes
# Lord knows, to my surprise
# The only one who could ever reach me
# Was the son of a preacher man
# The only boy who could ever teach me
# Was the son of a preacher man
# Yes, he was, he was
# Ooh, yes, he was
# Bein' good isn't always easy
# No matter how hard I try
# When he started sweet-talkin' to me
# He'd come and tell me, "Everything is all right"
# He'd kiss and tell me, "Everything is all right"
# Can I get away again tonight?
# The only one who could ever reach me
# Was the son of a preacher man
# The only boy who could ever teach me
# Was the son of a preacher man
# Yes, he was, he was
# Oh, yes, he was Oh, yes, he was
# How well I remember
# The look that was in his eyes
# Stealin' kisses from me on the sly
# Takin' time to make time
# Tellin' me that he's all mine
# Learnin' from each other's knowin'
# Lookin' to see how much we've grown and
# The only one who could ever reach me
# Was the son of a preacher man
# The only boy who could ever teach me
# Was the son of a preacher man
# Yes, he was, he was
# Oh, yes! # 10:12:57.560,00:00:00.000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE