-Welcome back. -Oh, thank you.
-Welcome back to the show.
-Or as William Barr might say, I'm so redacted to be here.
-Absolutely. [ Laughter ]
-You know, the only thing
he should be redacting is fast food.
[ Laughter ]
Well, it's true.
Honestly, I don't want to say he's big,
but I think Trump might make him the wall.
[ Laughter ]
-Is Easter a big holiday growing up?
-Well, we both have Irish Catholic backgrounds.
-Yes.
-And so, I have a lot of Easter memories.
-You do?
-One in particular, I was thinking about,
when I was about 10 or 11,
I got into a big fight with this cousin of mine.
He was a tough kid,
and he was trying to convince me that there was no Santa Claus.
And he was like a 10-year-old prosecuting attorney,
and he made a very compelling case
that one man couldn't possibly deliver
all those toys in one night, all over the world.
And I was devastated.
And I said, "Well, yeah, I guess so, maybe,"
and then very emotionally,
I said, "But you can't tell me there's no Easter bunny."
[ Laughter ]
-Oops.
-I was different from the other boys.
-You were. You were. [ Laughter ]
-But in my defense, my mother, for some strange reason,
made more of a fuss about the Easter bunny than Santa Claus.
For example, she would put out a cup of hot cocoa
and a bunch of carrots the night before.
-Oh, yeah.
-She developed a very elaborate backstory for the bunny.
How he was the sole supporter of his 50 brothers and sisters.
[ Laughter ]
His dramatic battle with drugs and alcohol.
-Oh, my goodness. Terrible, what a story.
-The sex tape. That was weird. [ Laughter ]
Finally a stint in rehab,
and then how he got into the candy business.
It was like a Lifetime film. -I would watch that.
-I couldn't resist. -I don't know if you heard.
But Cher was on our show last week.
-Oh, yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
You don't have to tell me because the minute
I walked into the building, I stopped abruptly and said,
[Sniffs] "Cher's been here."
[ Laughter ]
I'm a big Cher fan,
and I have the multiple restraining orders to prove it.
[ Laughter ]
But I want to tell you, it was a wonderful tribute show,
or as I like to call it, your coming-out episode.
-Thank you very much. I appreciate that.
-Yeah, I like to think of you as sexually fluid.
-Thank you. -You know.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-I'm not sure you know what that means -- sexually fluid.
You know, like, the years from now if you and Justin Timberlake
opened an antique shop in the Berkshires,
I wouldn't be shocked. [ Laughter ]
They wouldn't be shocked. -We might consider that.
I want to talk about this play. -Yes, okay. Yes.
-I have lots of questions about it.
-You and the rest of the tri-state area.
-Yeah. -No, this is -- by the way,
I'm starring with these two brilliant actresses,
Kristine Nielsen and Julie White.
Directed by a genius named George C. Wolfe.
And this brilliant writer, performer, Taylor Mac,
who has concocted this hilarious, provocative,
original, outrageous, absurdist black comedy called
"Gary: A Sequel to Titus Andronicus."
Now, I know you're a Shakespeare fan boy,
but for those of you who don't know...
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, yes, please, for them, who don't know. For them.
Yeah, yeah, not me. Of course I would know.
-They're still working out "sexually fluid."
[ Laughter ]
But for those of you who don't know "Titus Andronicus,"
it was Shakespeare's first tragedy
and famously over the top
in terms of violence, blood and gore.
And so what Taylor Mac has done is taken three minor characters
from "Titus" and put them in their own show.
They're starring in this show. -Yeah.
-And they're called Gary --
it's the clown, the maid, and the midwife.
And they're called Gary, Janice, and Carol.
Gary and Janice are assigned the task of cleaning up
all the dead bodies left over
after the "Titus Andronicus" massacre in ancient Rome.
So it's sort of "Game of Thrones"
meets "Tidying Up with Marie Kondo."
[ Laughter ]
-That what's you should put -- that should be on the playbill.
[ Applause ]
I heard a rumor. I don't know if it's true or not.
That you were in the new season of "Game of Thrones."
-Oh. Well, yes, I wanted to -- [ Audience oohs ]
I wanted to debut the news here.
Originally, they wanted me for the prequel series --
"Game of Thrones: The High School Years."
[ Laughter ]
They were interested in me playing young Hodor,
but they thought I was too chatty.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Chatty Hodor.
-So they created this part for me in the final season.
I play Jon Snow's idiot cousin Don Snow.
-Oh, wow.
-Don Snow. He's a very weak character.
Like, before this big battle I'm supposed to fight,
I throw a tantrum and then my father gets a doctor
to claim I have bone spurs.
But -- [ Laughter ]
It's very -- [ Applause ]
-It sounds familiar.
-It's very exciting.
Very exciting, but a very intense set.
Like, on the first day,
I took a few too many M&M's from the craft services table,
and the entire cast pointed at me and chanted, "Shame."
[ Laughter ]
But I will tell you
the final-season blooper reel is hilarious.
-Of course, it would be.
-Because it's just an hour of me trying to get on a horse.
[ Laughter ]
But my one regret is that I had a big scene, a crucial scene,
and I didn't feel I nailed it.
I kind of choked because I had to say the famous words,
"Winter is coming."
-Oh, yeah.
-Yes, and it was like saying "To be or not to be" in "Hamlet."
And, you know, how do you make it your own.
And by the 15th take, you know, I knew I was in big trouble
because I was getting a little New York Jewish.
Winter is coming.
[ Laughter ]
Better bring a sweater.
So I'd like to redeem myself tonight by trying to say
"winter is coming," and I really would love your feedback.
You know, you did such nuanced work in "Fever Pitch."
And -- [ Laughter ]
And now -- [ Cheers and applause ]
-Thank you. Nuanced?
-Now that Letterman is gone, you're my Oprah,
so I'm hoping you could give me some helpful hints.
-How can I help?
-Well, let's just say,
if you could do the lead-in line to what I have to say.
-Okay. -And so you're the eunuch.
-Yeah, I'm the eunuch. -And you say, "Oh, Don."
[ Laughter ]
Speaking of Jack Benny. -Oh, Don.
-"Have you heard what I heard?"
-Okay, I'm ready now.
Oh, Don -- -Wait a minute.
No, you're a eunuch. You're a eunuch, remember.
-[ High-pitched voice] Oh, Don.
[ Laughter ]
Have you heard what I heard?
-[ Deep voice ] Yeah.
Winter is coming.
-[ Normal voice ] Wow! [ Cheers and applause ]
That is how to -- that is how to do it right there!
Nathan Lane! Standing ovation!
You can see "Gary: A Sequel to Titus Andronicus" right now
at the Booth Theatre on Broadway.