Has your ex become rude, mean or cold towards you since the breakup?
Maybe they used to be extra friendly and kind… but now they’re cold, indifferent, or downright
cruel.
In this video, I’ll explain why they’ve become so mean and what to do about it if
you still want them back.
If this is your first time on my channel, welcome…
I’m Brad Browning, YouTube’s #1 breakup coach and best-selling.
Don’t forget to hit like and subscribe.
Now, let’s get to the topic at hand here: why your ex is rude or mean to you.
This is actually something that happens quite frequently, so don’t think you’re alone
if this is a scenario you’re facing right now…
I hear this question from my coaching clients all the time.
In some cases, it can seem like your ex is flip-flopping between being nice to you -- or
even downright affectionate and flirtatious -- while the next minute they’re being a
jerk or ignoring you altogether.
Or, maybe your ex just seems to be trying to pick a fight every time you interact with
them.
Regardless of what your ex is doing, if they’re being cold, distant, rude, or confrontational,
it’s usually for one of three reasons.
Reason #1: They Still Have Feelings For You
As crazy as it may sound, often when your ex is acting rude, cold or distant, it means
they still care about you or have feelings for you.
Their cruelty or argumentative behaviour is their way of dealing with these emotions.
Usually this is a subconscious thing rather than an intentional strategy on your ex’s
part.
For whatever reason, your ex has decided that breaking up is the best, most logical way
forward… and yet, they’re still in love with you to some extent, or at least still
have lingering romantic feelings for you and care about you.
These are feelings they no longer WANT to have, really, because they simply make getting
over the breakup more difficult….
And as a result, they can become cold and rude or often try to pick fights whenever
you talk to them.
It might sound bizarre, but being mean or rude is a common way many people try to suppress
these feelings and emotions after a breakup.
If your ex is being very ‘hot and cold’ towards you, where they’re sometimes being
nice and affectionate one minute and then suddenly acting mean or indifferent the next,
that’s a good indication that they’re doing this because they still care for you
and have an internal struggling going on within themselves over the breakup.
I’ve previously made a video specifically about this kind of “mixed messaging” from
your ex, which I’ll link to in the description below if you want to watch that.
And if you want to learn whether your ex does indeed still have feelings for you, take my
free quiz tool at BreakupBrad.com/Quiz…
it takes less than 5 minutes and will evaluate where you stand with your ex right now, and
what your chances are of getting them back.
Go to BreakupBrad.com/Quiz after the video and try it out for yourself.
Now, let’s move on to the second reason…
Reason #2: They Can’t Stomach The Idea of Hurting You
It’s possible your ex is being rude or trying to pick fights with you because they subconsciously
feel like this could give them a “reason” to hurt you by breaking up.
This might sound totally insane, but it’s actually relatively common.
Basically, your ex has decided to break up with you, but because they still have feelings
for you and they know you’re a good person…
they hate the idea of having to hurt you or cause you emotional pain by breaking up.
As a result, they’ll sometimes pick fights or be cruel towards you in hopes that you’ll
take the bait and react angrily or be equally mean and confrontational in response.
This will give them a reason, a sort of “justification”, that will make hurting you by breaking up
more acceptable.
Again, I know this sounds like a strange thought process on the surface, but human psychology
is often complicated and things like this can happen subconsciously without your ex
really thinking about it.
And finally…
Reason #3: You’re Just Not Getting The Message
The third reason your ex could be acting mean, rude, or confrontational is, unfortunately,
because they feel this type of behaviour is necessary in order to get you to leave them
alone and accept the breakup.
By treating you poorly or being a downright asshole towards you, they may be hoping you’ll
give them the space they’re looking for and stop trying to win them back.
If you’ve been pleading or begging your ex since breaking up, asking for another chance,
or promising to change if they’ll take you back….
Then your ex could very well be feeling like you’re just not accepting the breakup, and
being cold and rude to you in order to try and break through your denial and get the
message across.
Now, the final question I want to address in this video is how to react or handle this
type of behaviour from your ex.
What can you do to ensure they stop being so mean, cold, or angry towards you… and
go back to being the kind, considerate, and loving partner you remember from the time
you were together?
Well, there’s a couple of things that will help in this type of situation:
First, you need to avoid ‘taking the bait’ and not allow yourself to be drawn into any
kind of conflict or arguments with your ex.
If they’re being mean or rude, then you want to react in a way they won’t expect…
by not falling into their trap and by being kind, polite, and maturely defusing any potential
confrontation.
Now, it’s important not to be too nice to your ex, but you also need to take the moral
high road and not let yourself be dragged into arguments or lash back out at your ex
in response to their rudeness or cruelty.
Second, in many cases, you may need to re-engage in another period of No Contact.
Typically, there’s very little you can say or do to help change the way your ex is acting,
and therefore ignoring them completely and giving them time and space is often the best
strategy to change their behaviour and their opinion about the idea of ever getting back
together.
I always advocate shutting down the lines of communication with your ex if you’re
in doubt about what to do, because this is almost never going to hurt your chances of
getting them back in the long run… but it will ensure you don’t fall into their traps
or accidentally make matters worse by doing or saying the wrong thing.
And lastly… you can subscribe to my channel here on YouTube and take my free quiz at BreakupBrad.com/Quiz
to find out your chances of ever getting back together with your ex.
Thanks for watching guys, I’m sorry your ex is being mean or rude to you, and I hope
you found the advice in this video helpful!
See you next time.