hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about four habits you
should immediately quit now let's begin number one numbing negativity how do you cope with negativity
what do you do when you feel frustrated or unmotivated many people try to numb their emotions
by distracting themselves they fall victim to temptation using all kinds of distractors to
avoid worry fear or self-doubt now you might for example play video games to distract yourself from
a recent breakup or maybe you eat sugary foods to quiet your anxiety these coping mechanisms seem
to work in the moments you feel a little better for a few minutes but in the long term they're
incredibly destructive the problem is you're not dealing with your problems or feelings you're not
resolving any of those negative issues instead you're placing them on the back burner you're
delaying those painful emotions but eventually you'll have to confront your feelings that's the
primary issue with this terrible habit you find yourself jumping from distracter to distractor
when one temptation ends you immediately search for another and that way you can stall your
stress for hours or even days it feels like each distractor spares you a painful moment
but it doesn't the truth is you're not resolving anything you're not doing yourself any favors
you're simply saving your negativity for later so don't run away from your problems any longer
if you distract yourself to numb your negativity well it's time to give up this bad habit instead
address your emotions as they happen confront your negativity and experience your stress in real time
yeah it may be painful it won't be as fun as playing video games or watching tv
but you'll overcome through negativity much faster if you just stop running away
number two recycling toxic relationships do you spend your time with toxic people do you fall
into the same destructive patterns over and over again many of us are drawn to the wrong people we
choose partners who take us for granted we select friends who don't value our time we go out of our
way for people who hurt our self-esteem if this sounds familiar you're not alone countless people
fall into these traps every single time but it's time to leave this painful habit behind how do you
stop yourself from choosing the wrong people well let's think about why you fall for toxic partners
in the first place in the beginning toxic people throw up red flags left and right but we rarely
notice anything's wrong well why is that because we're infatuated by the idea of this person
in your head this person is everything you're looking for attractive intelligent kind funny
all the traits that comprise your perfect partner right well without realizing it you fall in love
with that mental image while ignoring the cold hard truth you overlook the red flags you pretend
not to see the signs you're so excited by glimmers of hope that all their frustrating behavior well
it doesn't seem so bad but no matter how hard you try to change them a toxic person will always be a
toxic person when you realize how toxic someone is it creates a whole new problem how do you end that
friendship or relationship how do you find the courage to release yourself from those toxic binds
it can be really difficult to stand up to a toxic partner especially if you're still attracted to
this person but let's say you find the courage to break things off you finally rediscover your
confidence and independence you start to feel happy again now that your toxic relationship has
faded into the past but then you meet someone new you become infatuated just like before
you start to see red flags but you ignore them all over again and soon you're stuck
in the middle of yet another toxic relationship yeah you'd be surprised how often this happens
despite experiencing a bad relationship you make the exact same mistakes so what's the
answer how do you avoid repeating the same toxic patterns how do you avoid another toxic friendship
or relationship you have to learn how to gain perspective it's challenging to look objectively
at your relationships but that perspective gives you a clearer picture of who this person really is
you might ask yourself questions like are they angry all the time do they betray your trust
do you experience a strange gut feeling every time you see them there are countless different reasons
why a relationship may grow toxic you may have experienced some of those reasons in the past
and you may experience others in the future but the worst thing you can do is ignore the past
you need to learn from your mistakes identify repeating patterns and make an effort to improve
if you have a habit of recycling toxic partners well it's time to end that painful cycle number
three the pitfalls of cramming have you ever procrastinated something until the night before
do you rush to finish your responsibilities moments before they're due this terrible habit
has a tremendous impact on your mindset and productivity many people argue procrastination
isn't all that bad some say they work best under pressure that they over perform when they're
pressed for time while pressure and deadlines can be motivating procrastination is never something
you should do on a regular basis procrastination places a huge amount of stress on your brain
each responsibility looms over you like a weight hanging over your head it may seem easier to put
off your responsibilities but you're creating more stress each time you delay your work as
you get closer and closer to that deadline your stress will snowball in the back of your mind
it's a little noise that's getting louder and louder until suddenly that noise is the only
thing you can hear so what creates all this stress why does procrastination have such a
huge impact on your brain there are three reasons why uncertainty ill-preparedness and self-doubt
when you procrastinate your brain becomes more and more unsure that you're going to finish
you feel less prepared and you worry that you're going to fail those thoughts create all kinds of
excess tension so your stress skyrockets now luckily this destructive habit is more than
fixable but you need to make a conscious choice to be proactive to plan ahead to change the way you
approach your responsibilities instead of creating stress and uncertainty proactivity increases your
confidence improves your performance and helps you stay organized but proactivity isn't something you
do just once or twice like procrastination it's a habit you maintain in all areas of your life
so don't wait until the night before to tackle your responsibilities don't try
to cram everything into the last five minutes you may think you work better under tight time
constraints but your brain doesn't your brain needs time to think analyze and most importantly
relax so start early plan ahead and stay on top of your responsibilities
number four materializing your worries have you ever panicked so much about something
your worries came to life this is another bad habit you need to quit immediately
imagine you're flustered about a speech you have to give tomorrow you're panicking about all the
mistakes you might make the words you might mess up the jokes that might not land you bury
yourself so deep in your anxiety and self-doubt that you end up sabotaging your own performance
things don't go the way you wanted them to why well because you brought your own worries to life
coping with anxiety and self-doubt is a difficult thing you grow absorbed in those swirling negative
thoughts it's incredibly challenging to break free in those moments your worries are all you
can think about you find yourself struggling to wrap your head around anything else anything even
small mindless chores as your worries spiral out of control small fears transform into overwhelming
catastrophes you grow convinced that each mistake will be a complete disaster but a mistake is just
that it's a mistake everyone makes mistakes every day and most of the time they're not that bad all
right now let's go back to your speech what if you do mess up a sentence or two what if you tell a
joke that doesn't land think realistically about what could possibly happen next
step back and analyze the reality of the situation something may have seemed like a disaster at the
time but in reality it's not even worth worrying about so don't let your worries push you around
and remember that a worry is just a worry it's not the truth it's not a fact it's unrealistic
it's exaggerated and sometimes it's downright impossible so whenever you're drowning in a pool
of negative thinking just take a breath realign your thoughts and take a more logical approach
by thinking logically you can separate real consequences from your brain's
catastrophic fantasies now of course it's not always easy to stop a downward spiral
but there are tricks you can use to block your worries from taking over your life
one psychological trick uses scheduled blocks of time to control your worrying psychologists
recommend a 30-minute period dedicated to worries fears and doubts in those 30 minutes just let your
mind run wild think freely about all the things that might go wrong but when those 30 minutes are
up you take control over your mind you silence your worries and you save them for tomorrow
yeah this trick sounds a bit strange but it really does work it limits the amount of time you spend
worrying every day and it keeps your doubts from interfering with the rest of your life alright
let's say you schedule your worrying block from 8 to 8 30 every night whenever you worry outside of
those bounds you simply tell yourself hey i'll worry about this later hey not only will this
help you concentrate but worrying blocks minimize the risk of a downward spiral hey thank you for
watching top think and be sure to subscribe because more incredible content is on the way