Hey there.
This is Mat Boggs, coauthor of Project Everlasting and creator of Cracking the Man Code.
Welcome to my man lair.
This is the bachelor pad where it all goes down.
This is my work zone.
And I wanted to create a few quick videos for you to help you identify where a man is
in a relationship and what he wants in a relationship.
It’s a process that I call the man scan.
I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this way, where you don’t want to bring up the
“What are we?” conversation too early because you don’t want to scare him off,
you don’t want to sound desperate, you know, it’s happened in the past.
Maybe you’ve brought it up, a guy didn’t call you back and you thought, “Maybe I
was too pushy.
Maybe I was too masculine.”
And it’s a tough place to be.
It’s a tough place to navigate how to identify what he wants.
And the challenge is it’s actually critical to know whether or not this guy is a good
fit for you, whether what he wants actually what you want and that might be a long-term
relationship.
So I’m going to teach you a strategy called the man scan, and it actually was, believe
it or not, taught to me because it was done to me by my now wife when we first started
dating, and it is brilliant.
So I’ve created three short videos for you to give you three steps for executing the
man plan and so this will help you identify where this man is and what he wants in a relationship
with you so that you can make sure that this guy is the right fit for where you’re going.
Okay, here’s step number one.
Step number one happens before you even meet this guy, okay?
Step number one is what I call getting in a state of love abundance.
All the time, who we are, our primary state of being, attracts who we receive into our
life.
When you meet a man, he is going to put you in one of two categories, okay?
You’re either going to be in the “casual hook up” category or you’re going to be
in the “potential” category.
And this is potential life partner.
This is potential wife.
Now, who gets to decide which category you go in for him?
Is it him?
Or is it you?
It’s absolutely you.
You’re who decides what category you go in and you’re actually communicating to
him what category you go in by how you show up early in the dating process, by what it
is you say you want, by whether or not you do the man scan, what you put up with, the
agreements that you set out.
See, we teach people how to treat us by the treatment we’re willing to accept and by
how we show up.
So depending on what it is you want, you can actually communicate to him subconsciously,
“Hey, put me in the ‘potential’ category,” if that’s what you want.
So step number one is showing up in this state of love abundance.
Okay, love abundance is not holding the belief that all the good men are taken.
It’s not only that vibration of, “There’s not any good men out there,” or, “Good
men are hard to find,” or this place of lack, this place of scarcity.
Love abundance is the opposite.
Love abundance says, “You know what?
It only takes one and what if it’s easy?”
Love abundance says, “You know what?
I’m a wonderful, beautiful, caring, compassionate person and I know that there’s a great life
partner for me out there and I’m going to attract that person.”
Love abundance states that, “You know what?
I’m happy.
My lie is full right now and I would love to have someone les in my life that I can
pour this happiness and joy into.
I don’t need anyone to complete me, but I would love to have someone in my life that
I can share these great experiences with.
And I’m not going to settle for someone who just wants to put me in the ‘casual’
category.
I actually have standards.
I want to create something special.”
That’s a very attractive place of being.
For example, if you’ve ever gone to buy a care, let’s just say, and you go in a
car lot and a salesman approaches you and instantly you know the salesman hasn’t sold
anything for a couple months.
In sales, they call this having commission breath, right?
And he’s so excited that you’re on the lot and he’s trying to show you this car
and he’s trying to show you that car and never mind you don’t want that kind of car,
he’s going to explain all the attributes of that car and try to get you into that car
and he’s not even really present with you and hearing what it is that you want, right?
What’s the equivalent of that in relationships?
Well, we call that desperation breath and I’m sure you’ve sensed it on guys and
I’m sure guys have sensed it – you know, I’m not sure, maybe on you or not.
But guys definitely can sense that when they’re meeting a woman who’s in that place of scarcity.
So, to be in a space of abundance, you’re holding the mindset that, “You know what?
I’m attracting the right man for me and I’m going to find out early on whether or
not this guy is that guy, and if he’s not, I actually want to scare him away.
It’s okay if I lose him.
It’s okay if he falls away from my life because that just creates a space – and
open opportunity for me to attract the man that I want into my life.”
When I went on my first date with my wife, we went in Huntingdon Beach to a place called
Tuna Town, okay?
And after Tuna Town, we had this great walk and we’re sitting in the car and she started
doing step number two and step number three of the man scan.
Now, in the next two videos I’m going to share with you exactly what that is, but her
beingness was such that I could tell she was trying to scare me off.
It was almost like a challenge, you know?
She was basically saying, “I don’t know if you’re ready to be with me because I
want something serious.
I want something meaningful.”
And later on I found out that she actually was trying to scare me off.
She thought I was a player, that I wasn’t actually in it to win it, I wasn’t there
really for something special.
So she wanted to scare me off because that’s what she wanted and ironically, I found that
so attractive.
And I remember sitting in the car going, “I’m not sure if she’s the one or not, but I
might be the guy.
Like, she’s different.
She’s definitely not in the ‘casual’ category.
She’s in the ‘potential’ category.”
So step number one, put yourself in this place of love abundance.
Remind yourself that, yes, your man is out there and he’s looking for you just like
you’re looking for him.
He’s open for you just like you’re open for him.
He’s ready for you and you’re going to attract him and you’re not going to waste
your time with guys who just want to play around.
That’s step number one.
In the next video, I’m going to give you step number two, which is exactly how to open
the conversation.
How do you get this conversation flowing so you can find out exactly what it is that he
wants, okay?
So check that out.
I’ll see you soon.