Brainy Dose Presents:
9 Things You Should Really Stop Feeling Guilty and Ashamed Of
Shame and guilt can be powerful motivators to do the right thing, but these negative
emotions can detract from our well-being when we feel ashamed for the wrong reasons.
If you often feel ashamed of your thoughts, personality, or behaviors, you might end up
being inauthentic to your true self.
You may also avoid acting on your desires out of fear that you will face ridicule or
rejection.
In this video, we’ll explore nine common causes of shame that you really don’t need
to feel ashamed about!
Number 1 - Your Dreams
It’s tough to achieve your dreams when you feel ashamed of them, but they become more
realistic when you feel proud and capable.
These positive emotions can push you to work hard toward your goals.
What you want in life is up to you and the truth is that the people who matter will support
and encourage you.
If someone doesn’t believe in you, it’s not because your dreams are silly.
It’s because that person is not great at giving support.
And if anyone belittles your dreams, know that this behavior reveals that they’re
the ones who should feel bad.
It means they don’t have dreams themselves, let alone the courage or determination to
follow them.
By making fun of your dreams, these people hope to distract themselves from their insecurities,
including their jealousy of you.
Number 2 - Your Friends
Some people feel ashamed to share their friendships publicly, especially if those friends face
ridicule from society already.
Tons of people still judge others based on appearance, ability, gender, sexual orientation,
religion, race, or beliefs.
But you should never feel ashamed of your friends, regardless of the world’s prejudices.
Instead, celebrate your differences and revel in the connection you share.
It’s okay to be proud, even when other people don’t understand your friendship.
Your relationships with your friends are beautiful, so don’t hide them.
Number 3 - Your Job Or Financial Position
While there can be many possible reasons why someone may be ashamed of their job or financial
situation, generally, there are two main reasons for this.
Either you are judging yourself, or you worry about someone else judging you.
Now, if you’re certain that the embarrassment is a clear sign that you should move on from
your job, by all means listen to your gut.
Explore your options.
Attend some classes or find a support network and don’t stop until you find work that
is more fulfilling.
But, if you’re ashamed of your work and yet secretly like it (or at least some aspects
of it), don’t throw that away to please others and their assumptions of what you need
to be happy.
Number 4 - Failure
Most of us see failure as an obstacle in and of itself, but it’s inevitable.
It’s a necessary stepping stone on the way to success, and one that you’re going to
come across more than once.
If you’re one of those people who sees failure as bad or negative, shift your mindset toward
seeing it as an important and valuable learning experience.
When you fail, it means you tried.
When you fail at the same thing again, it means you tried again, and that is resilience.
The more you try and fail, the more you build yourself up and become stronger.
You see, messing up and missing the mark are essential building blocks of success.
And if anyone ever judges you for failing, well, they don’t understand true success.
If they’re disappointed you don’t get it right on the first try, their expectations
are unrealistic.
Don’t be ashamed of failure.
Be proud of your courage, resilience, and motivation.
Number 5 - Your Need For “Me Time”
Taking time for self-care is nothing to feel guilty or ashamed of.
Resting and recharging is critical to our overall well-being, and it involves taking
time away from the constant noise and chaos of the world.
You’re not lazy if you want to curl up with a book, take a bath, watch TV, or do anything
else that helps you relax.
If anyone ever questions or judges you for taking breaks, be sure to assert the value
of your peace and quiet.
You might even be able to convince them to try a little self-care, too!
Number 6 - Being Optimistic
If it’s easy for you to see the positive side of things, even when other people are
full of complaints and resentment, you might find that people envy or criticize you for
your positivity.
But you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed.
Your optimism is a gift in a world where so many people focus on negativity, hardship,
and heartache.
Your choice to focus on the ‘good’ will serve you and the people in your life well.
Number 7 - Expressing Your Emotions
Honestly expressing your emotions with tears or a jump for joy is natural, healthy, and
even beautiful.
So, you should never feel ashamed about expressing yourself.
The real shame is how many people feel the need to stifle their emotions.
Some people hide their feelings out of the fear of being perceived as weak or vulnerable.
Others worry about being seen as boastful or over-zealous of their successes.
Regardless of the feelings, whether positive or negative, subduing your emotional responses
for other people isn’t healthy.
It prevents you from fully experiencing emotions and what those emotions can tell you about
your needs and wants.
Number 8 - Saying No
Whether someone is offering you something or asking you to do something for them, saying
no can be hard to do.
You might feel guilty for passing up on an opportunity, or you might worry that your
rejection will be taken as an insult.
But if you say yes to things when you really want to say no, then you’re not being authentic
to who you are.
You’re pretending to be someone you’re not.
Regardless of who you’re speaking to, be it a friend, co-worker, loved one, or even
a stranger, saying no and setting boundaries is healthy.
Refuse that invitation if you want to, and don’t feel bad about it!
Number 9 - Your Past
Whether it’s something you did or something that happened to you, it’s not unusual to
be ashamed of your past.
And even when you try your best to stay in the present, the past will always be with
you.
But shame will not help you carry the weight of your past experiences.
While you can try your best not to let it happen again and hope that no one will experience
what you did, shame won’t drive you toward growth.
Instead of feeling ashamed, acknowledge that you can’t change the past and your experiences
have had a significant impact on who you are today.
So, be proud of how you handled what you went through.
You don’t need to hide it from people.
Whether your shame comes from who you are, how you behave, what you have, or what happened
to you, working toward getting rid of guilt is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
You should never feel bad about being yourself, and if people try to make you feel ashamed
for anything we talked about, remember that it reflects who they are more than who you
are.
Wherever you feel shame, try to find pride because it will give you power, authenticity,
and joy.
Can you remember a time when you felt ashamed of something?
How did you overcome it?
Perhaps sharing your experience can help someone else who’s going through something similar.
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