Welcome to Full Frontal's special Wednesday special! We're on Wednesday
this week and next week so set your DVRs, fans and beloved hate watchers. Now, like
many of you I spent the weekend with an anxious knot in the pit of my stomach
waiting for Monday night's face off.. Would Drew Bress and his New Orleans
Saints notch their first win of the season against a monster backfield
tandem of the Atlanta Falcons Tevin Coleman and Devonte Freeman? Long story
short, that's 5,000 bucks I'll never get back
Luckily, I could console myself with the first presidential debate
80 million Americans skipped the NFL for it, which I think is a sign of the apocalypse.
For once, concussionball was not as compelling as watching American
democracy play Russian roulette
it started out okay, Kellyanne Conway's control collar work for about 20 minutes
but unfortunately it popped up once Trump attempted to wedge his monstrous
apricot bulk into the narrow spaces between Clinton's facts.
Donald thinks that climate change is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese. I think it's real
I think science is real -- (TRUMP) I did not, I do not say that
One, yes you do say that, and two, shush, the
lady has the Talking Stick don't insult her until you're asked to
insult her.
Earlier this month you said she doesn't have, quote -- a presidential look.
She doesn't have the look, she doesn't have the stamina. I said she doesn't have the
stamina and I don't believe she does have the stamina to be president of this
country, you need tremendous stamina
Just say penis Don, three-syllable words don't
suit you. For all the talk of stamina neither candidate showed their age
Monday night, well except for one moment
As far as the cyber, I agree, we have so
many things that we have to do better, Lester, and certainly cyber is one of them.
Uhhh, who's going to tell grandpa what cyber means? Roger, I know you know
Trump also seemed to think Clinton was way younger than she is. Like, a lot younger
you're telling the enemy everything you want to do
no wonder you've been fighting ISIS your entire
adult life
That's true, Hillary started fighting ISIS in 1965 when she took a gap year before Wellesley to go be
a guerrilla fighter in Aleppo. This was a decade before the fall of Saigon to ISIS,
which of course was Hillary's fault. We had the best time that year. It was easy,
since ISIS wasn't founded until 2006. Now, in the 90-minute lull between
police shootings of black men, the candidates had a chance to reach out to
African-Americans in the portion of the debate set aside for white people to
awkwardly tackle the topic of race.
(SAM) Ladies first.
We've got to do several things at the same time. We have to
restore trust between communities and the police
Everyone should be respected by the law and everyone should respect the law.
And people say she's uninspiring. The Black Lives Matter movement must be so excited
about their new t-shirt
Ohh, gives me chills
you know I think racism is probably over now but we should let Captain Black
Outreach take a stab
alright mr. Trump you have two minutes, how do you heal the divide?
Law and order.
we need law and order
we need law in order in our country we have to bring back law and order
we have to bring back law and order. Lester we need law and order and we need
law and order in the inner cities. You walk down the street, you get shot
First of all, what the fuck would you know about walking down the street?
Second, if you think a tired old racist dog whistle is how you heal the divide
you've got a lot to learn about listening to people of color here's how
it's done
(singing) You can get killed just for living in your American skin
where do we go from here?
Anywhere but here?
If every white person would allow
one black person to make them that uncomfortable, it wouldn't do anything
for the racial divide but it would be so entertaining