We all remember Moonwalker on the Mega Drive?
How could you not?
It's one of the games which helped sell the system.
Whilst Nintendo was mopping up all the big gaming names with their exclusive contracts,
Sega looked to celebrities to help put a recognisable face to their system.
At the time, Michael Jackson was huge, vast, expansive, and a cutting edge 16 bit game,
utilising the Megadrive's gritty metal sound capabilities was perfect, even if he did just
walk from door to door, rescuing children and kicking people in the nuts.
IT'S WHAT THE PUBLIC DEMANDED.
It was completely different from the arcade game, and I really liked the arcade game,
especially with friends, roaming about, dancing to kill enemies.
But the Sega version still worked, and still included elements from the arcade version....
it was weird and very Jackson-esque, however you feel about the rescuing children part.
I mean the film features children, and ridiculously rapid cars, so at least they didn't just make
a driving game and call it quits.
As was fairly common at the time, this wasn't actually the first Moonwalker game to hit
the home.
In 1989 US Gold published home computer versions, including Spectrum, Commodore 64, Amstrad,
Atari ST & Amiga... all of which, again deviate from the arcade experience, but are still
based around the film.
Rather than isometric, we get a top down viewpoint, and have to complete numerous tasks like finding
parts of a rabbit costume to disguise yourself from adoring fans.
The Mega Drive release would follow in August 1990, developed by Sega R&D2, followed swiftly
by the Master System release programmed by Arc, but both following the same formula.
So how did this port across to Sega's lesser console.
The 8 bit Master System, with it's PSG sound chip and clunky control pad... welll.....
Yeah, it's not quite the same is it?
Now, I love the Master System, but having witnessed this game on friend's MegaDrive,
I was keen to get some Jackson pie.
No, wait, that sounds horrible.
I was keen to experience the game myself, so I rented the Master System version, and
I made myself believe IT WAS THE SAME DAMMIT.
I mean, really, the graphics are pretty darn good, they've captured the essence of the
16 bit game quite well, but that sound is grating from the go.
Slap some Megadrive music over the top, and everything feels a whole lot better.
Interestingly there was a limited edition pack, which bundled the Master System version
with the movie.
This seems to be a Master System exclusive European release, where the console sold well.
Later variants of original Master System bundles also chucked the game in for just £99.99.
Thankfully Super Hang on and Safari Hunt were also included.
Anyway, let's get stuck in, and see exactly why I said thankfully.
So I've already showed you the box, but let's recap for nostalgia's sake.
On the outside we have the unmistakable Master System box design, with the Mega Drive art
work just slapped on the bottom.
The design always feels more abrupt on Master System cases, compared to the smooth flowing
dark shades of Mega Drive packaging.
On the back we have the blurb;
"Michael" Katy's voice rings out (although it doesn't really on this version does it?)
- you've found her!
But more children are still lost!
Can you stop the psycho mastermind Mr. Big and his goon squad before they kidnap all
the kids?
(I must say, he doesn't look THAT big)...
You can, if you're Michael Jackson!
Moonwalk on muggers, lean on meanies and pop the punks.. (come on guys, really>).
Move like only Michael can, to the beat of Smooth Criminal, Beat It, Billie Jean, and
Bad!
A quick flick through the manual, and it's time to load this bad boy up.
Immediately we're greeted with a colourful title screen, followed by the robotic car
sequence from the film.
Then we find ourselves in a club, reminiscent of the Smooth Criminal video, and hence why
Smooth Criminal is playing in the background.
So the idea is to check behind every door, and indeed, every window, until you find a
child.
Then you stow the child in your pocket and move onto the next door.
It's a simple enough premise, and indeed, one which becomes very boring, very quickly.
I mean, why am I searching for children in cupboards, and on bloody window ledges?
It's like some crap version of hide and seek.
It would make far more sense if Mr. Big was the good guy and he was hiding these kids
because someone saw Michael moseying on down to the club.
Poor little mites.
Whilst wandering and searching, we're treated to a Jackson walk, and a little twirl when
opening doors... and to be honest, the game would be twice as playable without this.
For that half a second or so whilst you're twirling, you can't do anything, and so when
a baddie pops out of the door like this.
You inevitably receive a beating, and yes, this becomes mighty tedious.
At some point within each stage, Michael's hat is hidden.
Once you get that, you can lob it at people, making everything much more pleasing.
Even though kicking people in the nuts is great fun.
After completing each level, we see Mr. Big, dressed as a PE teacher, taunting us with
the same sentence, every single time.
Seriously, this guy lacks imagination.
We're then treated to a little bonus stage, for no particular reason where Jacko has to
kick the hell out of people to try and get a time bonus.
The next trio of levels sees us in a car park.
Apparently a car park where every other car contains an explosive in the boot, oh, and
also the children, of course.
Your enemies this time are all called Jimmy, and they all inexplicably lob their bats into
the air, just for the hell of it.
The last level of the car park removes Jimmy, and we find dogs.
Just, shed loads of dogs.
Now, entertaining as it is, lobbing your hat with such velocity that it smashes dogs into
space, it's not what I want to be doing on a regular basis.
Next up, we're in the graveyard, and although the music is generally themed for the level,
this time with "Another Part of Me" providing the backing track.. you'd think using Thriller
here would have been appropriate, however whether due to licencing or just not fitting
with the Bad album out at the time, it was omitted.
Interestingly a Mega Drive beta cart was recently unearthed using Thriller for this level, but
this was removed for the final version on both systems.
Apparently the kids are hiding under grave stones this time...
Frickin' grave stones...
Yep, of course they f*cking are.
This stage is probably the most annoying so far, because these zombies leap like there's
no tomorrow, and when they leap, you standing attack - the kick is useless, so you either
have to duck or leap and jab.
The jab is a little hard to wield, so I invariably duck, then have to turn round, smack the zombie,
then move on.
Again, tedious, and just a tad frustrating when they leap straight into your face.
Next we find ourselves in some caves.
Now this time, the gameplay is mixed up a bit.
Instead of searching straight away, we get to go in each cave, avoiding spiders, for
some reason, and searching for yet more children.
This time laser wielding guards protect them, and it's all a bit odd.
Now, the game isn't very hard.
But I'll be honest, this is the point at which I gave up.
I may be able to forgive the Mega Drive version, with it's grungey soundtrack, but I just can't
with the Master System, no matter how much I love the console.
It's really quite mundane.
I mean, we can do his special dancing move, which is in all versions of the game to keep
us entertained, but it's just not enough.
Yeah, look at how that crotch movement just blasts these guys into oblivion.
Nice work MICHAEL.
Anyway, thanks to brilliantly ASMR channels like World of Longplays, I can show you the
next levels.
Here we are, here's a factory - otherwise known as the Enemy Hideout.
Actually, I love the colouring on this level.
SEGA DO WHAT NINTENDON'T.
So this level is a little different in that we can now teleport, moonwalk on conveyor
belts, dodge lasers and even smash up computer terminals.
In fact "kicking computers to chips" is now an essential part of progression, as well
as finding those pesky kids.
They're actually starting to remind me of Newt from Aliens.
Anyway, with the computers smashed and the children captured, the game transposes into
a first person shooter.
Personally I think they should have put more of these levels throughout the game, to break
up the monotony.
A like like Alien Storm, which is a great game.
Now for some reason Mr.Big seems to just stand there with a black sack on his head.
Once we've taken out some enemies, we find ourselves at a mountain range, in a ship,
with what looks like Zoltar from the movie, Big.
Take out these mountain guns, and apparently, we complete the game, and get to see Jacko
dancing like only an 8 bit Jacko can.
I would have liked the opportunity to fight Mr. Big hand to hand if I'm honest, but really,
I'm just pleased that I can go back to playing the arcade version.
Anyway, before I go, remember these survival tips to help in your everyday life...
1.
Search EVERYWHERE for children.
2.
Impossible places aren't.
3.
Use Magic Wisely. 4.
Practice, practice, practice!
I'm sure we can all agree, these are important life tips, and indeed the ones Michael lived
by himself.
Although clearly, they didn't help him survive.