To Kill a Mockingbird, a la Shmoop. [Bird explodes]
My name's Scout, and anybody who doesn’t like what I’ve got to say gets a fresh knuckle sandwich.
I don't know why my dad decided to name me something lame like Jean Louise, but it was
probably revenge against whoever named him Atticus. [Flashback ripple]
I bet all the kids called him Garage-icus in school. [Kids teasing]
…He probably didn’t pulverize them though, like I would…Atticus is more of a peacemaker... All right guys, jokes over let's just calm down
Which is great for him, but I wish he’d cut me a little more slack.
Scout, you've still got some chores left.
It's not easy to avoid fights when your dad's a civil rights lawyer in the Deep South. [Man on horse arrives]
Hey Addicus, where were you at the ledge ball last week.
Things used to be pretty tame around here.
Me and Jem…that's my brother,
…hung out a lot with our runty neighbor, Dill. [Dill becomes a pickle]
Seriously, does anybody have a normal name in this town?
Anyway, we got up to lots of awesome hijinks.
We even got some sweet air rifles so we could shoot birds... [Bird falls]
…no mockingbirds, though.
Apparently they’re the innocent angels of the bird world…
We also did some poking around the Radley place.
You've heard about the Radleys, right?
Pretty weird family to begin with, but the best part is the gossip about Boo Radley,
the cat-eating, dad-stabbing, monster next door…
…He's one crazy dude.
So Jem and Dill and I tried to bug him and get him to hang out with us… [Door closes]
Hmm, when I say it out loud, it doesn't sound like a great idea.
But I liked going by Boo's house, because there was this magic tree that always had
goodies in it. [Walking over to tree]
Sticks of gum, loose change, and also some soap dolls that looked like Jem and me.
Okay, that part was a little creepy.
It was almost like some unseen person was watching our every move from the Radley House.
Crazy, right? [Boo watches through binoculars]
So yeah, good times… until my dad took a case defending Tom Robinson, a black man who
was accused of raping a white lady.
Everyone got pretty hot and bothered about it, throwin' around the N-word and getting
all up in my grille. [Angry crowd]
This whole court thing was a huge drag for me and Jem, but Atticus had to do lots of
overtime and stuff.
He even went to the jailhouse to catch up on some reading, and got a visit from a bunch
of dudes that were a few torches and pitchforks away from an angry mob.
Luckily, dad has me to protect him.… [Angry mob arrives]
He's got to have some backup muscle, right?
Now I just need to convince Aunt Alexandra of that.
She keeps trying to get me to stop swearing and change out of my overalls.
Whoever heard of a bodyguard in a dress? [Bodyguard in a dress appears]
Then there was the trial.
That’s when I realized my dad is a total superhero.
He was all, “This white lady was beaten up by a left-handed guy!
What do you think about that, white lady’s left-handed dad?”.. "Well I don't think much of it, I can tell you that."[Atticus interrogates]
Which was pretty smart, because Tom couldn’t use his left hand at all, really... I've still got my right hand!
In fact the whole thing sounded like a pretty bogus story.
But that didn’t stop the jury from finding Tom guilty.
And then he got shot trying to escape from prison.. You guys are crazy!![Tom dies]
On the bright side, I won the starring role of “giant ham” in the school play.
Bonus: the costume came in handy when the white lady’s racist dad tried to stab me!
…but then crazy old Boo Radley saved the day, and the bad guy fell on his knife, like
an episode of “American’s Dumbest Criminals!” [Dad has knife in back]
At least, that’s the official story… [Flashback ripple]
You wanna know what I think?
I think Boo killed that guy, but Dad and the Sheriff want to keep him safe from the paparazzi.
…I mean, the guy’s spent his whole life hiding.
He’s not really ready for social networking… [Boo denies friend requests]
So, maybe we should leave Boo alone.
He’s like a mockingbird…he didn’t really hurt anybody, or at least, nobody who didn’t
deserve it. [Mockingbird lands on shoulder]
So, in conclusion, we shouldn’t shoot Boo Radley with air rifles.
…Moral quandary solved, don’t you think?