Welcome back to the Gentleman's Gazette! In today's video, we'll discuss the
proper etiquette to adhere to when it falls to you to introduce other people.
It's a fact of life that most of us operate within a number of different
social circles. For example, many of us will socialize with family, friends,
neighbors, co-workers, and so on and often, these social circles are largely kept
separate, not necessarily intentionally, of course, but simply by way of the fact
that they wouldn't have much reason to naturally come together or commingle in
most circumstances. Still, there are situations where those different social
spheres will come together; parties, weddings, funerals, and so on and in those
situations, given that you may be the person that knows both people from
different circles, it'll be your responsibility to introduce those people
to one another hence we've created today's guide on how to approach the
exercise of introductions with class and tact as befits a gentleman. This is part
of our larger series on etiquette and you can find that by checking out the
playlist here. First though, let's answer the general question, why is it important
that introductions be made between people in the first place? The simplest answer is that by introducing people at a gathering who
don't know each other, everyone will generally feel more at ease in the
social situation and people will be able to converse more comfortably. Phrased
another way, the purpose of introducing people is to give them an opportunity to
get to know each other. Here's an added benefit, by performing a proper
introduction, the introduced parties will reflect on you positively and see you as
a socially adept individual. Never a bad thing! Alright, with the central why out
of the way, let's get into the specifics of our techniques starting with what to
do before an introduction happens. Yes, there are a few
pre-intro considerations that you may have. Firstly, it's important to find a
proper opening and to get your timing right; after all, you don't want to
embarrass yourself by accidentally introducing the wrong people to each
other or by interrupting a flowing or serious conversation with an
introduction. For example, if your boss is in the middle of a business discussion
at an event, butting in to introduce them to a friend will seem out of place and
improper. Now that we've got the question of timing down, we can get to the real
meat and potatoes of today's video, the actual etiquette conventions of formal
introductions. The basic protocol of formal introductions calls for
introducing a lesser ranking person to a higher ranking person.These rankings are
generally determined by things like age, job title, or how long you've personally
known one of the individuals in question. The higher ranking individual's name
should always come first in an introduction. So then, here are the four
steps to a formal introduction. First, state the name of the person being
introduced to. In other words, state the name of the higher ranking individual.
Second, say something like "I would like to introduce" or "Please meet" or a similar
phrase. Third, state the name of the person being introduced. In other words,
this is the name of the lower ranking individual. Fourth, mention one or two
small details to get the conversation between the two individuals started.
Don't give away too much so that they don't have anything to talk about
but just get a detail out there so things can get flowing. Now let's put all
of that together with a few examples. You may, for instance, be introducing an older
person to a younger person; you could say something like "Grandma, this is my friend,
Will. He and I just completed a project together in Chemistry." You could be
introducing a senior professional to a junior professional; something like "Mr.
President, this is our new data analyst, Ms. Johnson." or you could be
introducing a host to a guest; something like "Mrs. Adams, this is my daughter,
Janet, she just returned from a ski trip in Colorado." Getting the picture here, you
may notice that in the second example, we left out an additional anecdote. In that
case, the job title of data analyst serves as the detail that the senior
official could latch on to. Also, often in business introductions, providing other
personal details isn't usually necessary. So you may then be wondering, what if the
two people I'm introducing to one another are of equal status? Well in this
case, it's purely up to you which person's name you want to list first,
it's that easy and if you are performing an introduction between one person and a
group of multiple people, follow the same ranking system we outlined before but
just make sure to list the names of each person in the group individually, that
way, no one will feel minimized or left out. Here's an example of that one in
action; "Director Miller, I would like to introduce our Engineering team, this is
Tom White, Amy Nakamura, and Kendall Thompson, all three of them participated
in our conference on Wednesday. Dimple enough, right? Before we move on to some
more general guidelines, here's a quick note on less formal introductions
because ,of course, they do occur as well. If you're in a more casual situation, a
full formal introduction isn't always necessary or even practical. Still, you
should generally try to follow the overall guidelines of introducing the
higher ranking person to the lower ranking person. Let's say, for example,
that you're a few rows apart in the stands at a basketball game, obviously,
it's not going to be practical to do a handshake or really have a conversation
at that point in time but a smile, a friendly wave, and just exchanging names
should be enough. Then, if you find yourselves in a situation where you can
have a more full conversation later, take the opportunity to do so. On that note
then, let's broaden our discussion out again and talk about body language and
social cues. Look at the person you're speaking to first then
turn to the other person as you complete the introduction. You should make an
effort to make eye contact with both individuals that are part of the
introduction. Speak clearly, of course, and don't mumble. Mumbling is just going to
reflect poorly on you as the person conducting the introduction. As we've
already mentioned, use courteous language. "May I introduce" or "I'd like you to meet"
are good examples of a lead-in for an introduction. "May I present" is going to
be your most formal option. In more formal situations or when there's an
obvious age difference between parties, using courtesy titles and last names is
going to be more polite than just using first names. After all, once they get
talking, the people you are introducing can make the decision to use first names
themselves and even when you are using first names, try to include last names as
well. Not only is it more polite but it also aids in memory retention for those
people being introduced. Also, teach children to use the titles of adults
rather than simply their first names unless an adult specifically requests
that only their first name be used. For example, something like "Mrs. Rosen, this
is my niece, Kayla. Kayla, this is Mrs. Rosen". This brings up a good
point about repetition, though, only when introducing children to adults should
you reverse and repeat the introduction; as in "X this is y, y this is X", otherwise,
reversing and repeating can make the introductions seem a little tedious. In
order to make sure that everyone remembers everyone else's names, just use
names organically as the conversation continues. Finally here, let's cover
what to do if you find yourself having forgotten someone's name in the middle
of an introduction; after all, it does happen. The best course of action is
simply to politely excuse yourself and say "I'm sorry,
would you please remind me of your name?" and if you find yourself repeatedly
blanking on someone's name, be a little bit sneaky. Take the two
people and simply say, "Have the two of you met?" then you can sort of prompt the
two people to say their names for one another. This is a little bit risky,
however, and it won't always work so it's a tactic that's best avoided. In general,
honesty is the best policy. There you have it! Those are the etiquette
guidelines for introducing others. Before we go though, here's what to do if you
find yourself being introduced to someone else. First,
stand and face the person in question. This makes it easier to maintain eye
contact and shake hands and presents you as equals in the introduction. If a
person is unable to stand, of course, just politely lean to their level. Don't
forget to smile, give a firm but not crushing handshake, and let go promptly.
There are a few things more awkward than somebody who hangs on too long after a
handshake and finally, after the introduction has been completed, give a
pleasant greeting to the person to whom you've been introduced, "I'm very pleased
to meet you" is an easy choice and one final base to cover here, introducing
yourself to others. If you know the person's name and title, it's best to use
it. Something like "Mr. Jones, my name is
Michael Wilson. It's a pleasure to meet you" and if you'd like to introduce
yourself but you don't know the person's name, you can just lead with yours.
Something like "Hi, I'm Preston Schlueter. I thought I'd like to get to know you". As
with before, don't forget the smile, eye contact, and
firm handshake. In conclusion then, knowing all of these rules all types of
introductions should be a breeze for you. You'll look good to the people whom
you're introducing and they should hopefully be able to start up a
conversation with little to no effort. We'd like to know, do you already use any
of these introduction techniques and do you have any more that we might have
missed in today's video? Whatever the case may be,
share with us in the comments section below and as always don't forget to
subscribe to the gentleman's Gazette channel and hit the little bell icon so
these videos will come straight to your inbox in today's video
I'm wearing a business casual outfit that would probably be appropriate at a
great number of different kinds of social gatherings the central piece of
course is a cotton linen blend sport coat of blue grey with a windowpane
pattern in beige and brown I'm wearing it over a French cuff shirt from Charles
Tyrwhitt the shirt is white and it has a check pattern of blue and green
both the shirt and the jacket have checked patterns but because they're at
varying densities they don't look too much the same and thus can harmonize
together the vintage tie in green features a small repeating geometric
pattern in grey and brown and thus harmonizes with the other colors in the
outfit also the pocket square is in dark green so it harmonizes with both the tie
and some of the colors in the shirt my cuff links today are from Fort Belvedere
and they're platinum plated sterling silver links in an Eagle Claw design
that feature malachite as the stone the green tone of course is found elsewhere
in the outfit my plain charcoal trousers serve to ground the outfit a bit and
they're accented by socks that are also from Fort Belvedere they're in dark blue
and they have a shadow stripe of gray and the outfit is rounded out with my
newer dark oxblood penny loafers