So today's topic is something many of us struggle with
and that is the anxiety around potentially stopping therapy.
What do we do?
So stay tuned.
So, like I said today's topic is how to deal with the anxiety of potentially terminating therapy.
Or at the very least, giving more time in between sessions.
Now, in the therapy world we call this putting together a "termination plan".
And I don't know if your therapist will say this to you, because I don't actually think I say that to my clients
but it's something that I mentally make note of, and I'll start jotting down this "termination plan".
And things that I would make sure you mention to your therapist that kind of helps, even me as a person who is
in therapy, it helps us deal with the anxiety of it
is knowing this plan is going into place.
And there are about four things that I'll mention today that will really help alleviate this.
Now, first of all, we're going to talk to our therapist, we're going to bring it up and we're gonna say,
"I'm feeling really anxious about not seeing you anymore and I would like (number one) some collateral resources
to help me when we stop."
Now, I know it's really difficult to say, "Yeah I'm going to stop" but we're gonna want some resources.
These collateral resources, these referrals are things like groups.
Or let's say we're struggling with alcoholism, it's like an AA kind of referral.
Or, maybe we do an art therapy group.
Something that they refer you out to.
Ask them for it. We have tons of referrals, and if we don't, we can ask people around, other peers and colleagues
of ours for recommendations and we can find something that fits with you and what you're struggling with.
Now, there are many eating disorder clinics in my area who have either Monday nights or Sunday nights a lot of times
they have groups for people who are working on recovery, who aren't in treatment anymore but they need the constant support.
It's things like that, okay?
So make sure you ask for those resources.
Now, the second thing is making sure you're ready for termination.
And you need to talk with your therapist openly about this.
So this is, "How much longer are we going to see each other? When will you know I'm ready?" (To your therapist)
"When will you know I'm ready for termination, and how will I know?"
Now they're not going to say, "You're going to know because you'll feel blah blah blah..."
But they can talk to you about how we can work together and come to an agreement on when it's okay.
So that's kind of the second thing we have to do.
We have to figure out when we'll know that we're ready. And when our therapist will know we're ready.
So we're working together, right? The more we talk about things the less anxiety we'll have around them.
Am I right?
Because usually when we don't talk about things it gets real messy.
So the third thing I want you to talk with your therapist about is do they have an open door policy?
Now, we call it that in the States, and that means, and I have that, and most therapists I believe
we're ethically supposed to, and that means you can come back any time you want.
You're having trouble, give me a call, we'll schedule you.
And I don't know how it is in other parts of the world, but while you have your therapist here and you have time,
ask them. "What is the policy? What happens if I start decompensating and I don't do as well and I find
I'm triggered all the time? How do I get another appointment? Can I call you? Can I email you? Do I need
another referral? Find out.
So the fourth thing that I want you to do, and to prepare to manage that anxiety with potentially stopping therapy,
is planning for the slip ups.
Now I know that sounds really weird, "Why am I planning to have issues?"
But there are going to be things that are going to trigger us whether we have depression, anxiety,
eating disorder, self harm, bad body image, there's a whole bunch of things. And things can really trigger us.
That can be stress around a test we just took that gave us a really bad cold.
It could be anxiety, it could be anything, it could be our parents are coming to town that makes us really
stressed out, oh my god, oh my god, it could be any number of things and we have to plan and prepare for that.
And I've done lots of videos on like, safety plans and things like that if we're having suicidal thoughts.
It's kind of around the same type of idea.
We're going to plan for the potential stressors and triggers.
What will we do? How will we get through it? What are coping skills we can use?
And this is also kind of a great time with your therapist to go over all the gains you've made.
All the successes you've had. Because all of those things you've learned and worked with them on are kind of
part of that plan, right?
We've learned new coping skills, we've worked on ways to better communicate our needs and our wants and how
upset we are, etcetera, right?
So, use those things that you've learned and worked on in your plan.
And it can remind you of how far you've come. And then it's like, "Yes! I've done so well!"
So I hope that those four things really help you out in managing your anxiety around, you know, slowly
letting go of therapy. Because it's not something that we have to be in all the time.
It's something that we can kind of come and go and get like "booster sessions", right?
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