-Welcome to "The Tonight Show," everyone.
During what continues to be a very turbulent time,
I just want to say to everyone out there protesting
or people going back to work during quarantine,
please stay safe.
And we appreciate you.
We have a great show tonight.
The co-hosts of "Queer Eye" are on the show tonight.
And their new season just came out on Netflix.
And we saw episode one, and it is just great.
They are just -- it's -- it's almost --
it's comforting, but it's heartbreaking.
It's beautiful. It's great.
And that was only halfway through it.
-Oh, yeah. -Yeah, even to the end
is just -- yeah. It's fantastic.
But we love all of those guys, so they're on the show tonight,
as well as Christian Slater,
who has a new show on USA, Tuesdays, at 10:00.
And, honey, you'll like it.
It's, like, season two of "Dirty John."
It's a real -- -Oh, I'm in.
-Yep. And then our music tonight,
she's unbelievable.
And Sia is on the show tonight.
-Oh. -Yeah.
She has a motion picture called "Music,"
and the song's called "Together."
And Sia is one -- I wish -- you know, I miss seeing
these people and being in front of these singers.
'Cause it's people like Sia that --
And musicians will know what I'm talking about --
She almost doesn't need a microphone
when she's performing.
She's so good and, like, projecting, and it's like, wow!
It's powerful.
And I'm always like, "Wow. Were you even using the mic?"
'Cause she fills up the whole room.
And I remember even her doing "Chandelier,"
I want to say, and I was like,
"You're not gonna hit those notes."
It was like -- [ Whistling ]
I can't even whistle it, what she was singing.
♪ Chandelier ♪ And she hit all the notes,
and I was like, "Ah!" She is just amazing.
So, what a great show tonight.
And thank you so much, again, for watching.
Let's get to some news.
Well, you guys, it's another rough week for President Trump.
Though at this point, I can just say,
"Well, you guys, it's another week for President Trump."
CNN just released a new poll yesterday,
and it doesn't look too good for the President.
-President Trump's approval rating is the lowest
it's been since January of last year.
That's according to a new CNN poll
that shows the President slipping amid a chaotic week.
Only 38% approve of the job he is doing.
That is down 7 points since just last month.
-Ouch. Right now, the only thing
lower than Trump's approval rating
is his underground bunker.
38%, to put that in perspective, more people approved
of Lay's cappuccino-flavored potato chips.
Cappuccino-flavored potato chips.
Incidentally, 38% is the same ratio of chips to air
in every bag of Lay's potato chips.
It's bad. Right now, even the "New York Times"
op-ed section has more fans.
[ Chuckles ]
You know how I know things are bad?
Earlier today, Don Jr. changed his name to Eric.
[ Laughs ]
And now Trump wants to improve his numbers
by getting his campaign team from 2016 back together.
Trump was like, "We can do it. They're all out of prison now.
So..."
Speaking of Trump's campaign,
it looks like he's ready to get back out on the road.
-And now the President is planning
to get back out on the trail.
His campaign says they're looking to resume
those big rallies in the next two weeks,
despite concerns about the pandemic.
-Don't worry. Just to be safe,
everyone gets injected with bleach on the way in and out.
So...
Actually, Trump said that they're being smart.
He was like, "When the rally ends,
everyone will have to stay in the arena
for two weeks of quarantine."
So, that's fair, right?
Meanwhile, just when it seemed like things
couldn't get any more upsetting,
Trump took to Twitter this morning
to offer a conspiracy theory
of the police-brutality incident in Buffalo.
He said that the 75-year-old man who was shoved by the police
could be an ANTIFA provocateur.
And, "I watched. He fell harder than was pushed.
Could be a setup?"
Yeah, it's pretty interesting that this guy
is giving a lesson on gravity, from a man who stands like this.
It's almost like he's, like, free falling,
like one of those flying squirrel guys.
♪ Defying gravity ♪
Um...
After receiving criticism from both Democrats and Republicans
for that exact tweet, Trump followed up by tweeting,
"Make America great again."
'Cause when the new stuff bombs, you got to go with the hits.
Well, I saw that Daniel Radcliffe
released a statement condemning J.K. Rowling's
controversial tweets about trans people.
Many people have been surprised about her views,
but I don't know. If you go back and read
the "Harry Potter" books, it kind of makes sense.
There's a character that I forgot totally about.
There's Hermione, Ron, Harry, and, of course,
there was the fourth friend that I forgot called Whimpleton.
I totally --
Well, here's a couple excerpts from the audiobooks.
Should make more sense. Listen.
♪♪
-"We have to stop Professor Snape
from getting the Babbling Thwoggit!"
exclaimed Harry.
"Grab your wands!" cried Hermione.
"I'm just gonna say it. I'm not totally sold
on this whole 'trans' thing," said Whimpleton.
"Not the time, Whimpleton!" yelled Harry. "Wow!"
"Use the Portkey to get to the Jackalion!"
declared Hermione.
"What kind of creature is that?" inquired Ron.
"Does it have claws and sharp teeth?" queried Harry.
"And is it a boy or a girl?
It has to be one, not neither or both," said Whimpleton.
"Whimpleton, literally no one asked for your opinion here!"
shouted the group.
"We've only found 16 of the cursed Nobbilynooks!"
Ron gasped.
"We have to hurry!" bellowed Harry.
"But wait!" Whimpleton halted.
"Can I just say, the thing about menstruation is --"
He never got to finish his sentence,
as Hermione pulled out her wand
and transfigured him into a tea cozy
And at last, Whimpleton was useful.
But people are thanking Daniel Radcliffe
for speaking out against J.K. Rowling's tweets.
It's an easy issue to get wrong,
so just so everyone's on the same page,
here's a complete list of all the things
people want to hear J.K. Rowling's take on.
♪♪
-Wizards.
♪♪