(logo swooshing)
- There's nothing like going on a bike ride with a mate,
someone you can while away the hours with
chatting and laughing.
(Simon and James laughing)
- Yeah, that's all well and good,
but what if that mate constantly makes you feel slow?
How do you get one over on someone
that's just frankly better than you are?
It's a good question.
Fortunately, the dark side of cycling
just might have some answers.
- Come on, Si!
- That's great bants, mate, yeah.
(jazzy music)
- Right, this one's simple but not particularly devious.
Take charge of the route.
If you've got a riding mate
that is stronger than you on the flat,
then it's inevitable that they're gonna
want to ride a flat route,
and that's where they can force the tempo
and play into their strengths.
But this way you can turn the tables.
Why don't you plan a route
that plays into your strengths instead?
Perhaps a hilly epic, or if you're a rider
with great power output but a bit of extra ballast,
choose a flat ride to take away the advantage
of your skinnier friends.
Well, this is something we have to do a lot with Emma.
(gentle music)
- The next three are all great tips
just to help buy you a little bit
of extra breathing space when climbing
without raising any suspicion
that you do indeed have a cunning plan.
And the basics, well, it's to effectively
rob your friend of oxygen, but in the nicest possible way.
- So one good way of doing this
is asking your friend an interesting question.
Watch this.
So mate. - Yeah?
- What's your favorite geometry?
- Oh mate, that's such a great question.
I mean, firstly I think we gotta separate
what the geometry that you think you like
from the geometry that actually.
Maybe. - Oh really?
- What I thought I knew about frame geometry
actually wasn't true at all.
Having a one tooth per sprocket jump, actually,
was probably optimal for that particular situation.
But then I just thought, well, maybe I should--
- Right, let's take a left here, mate.
- A left? - A really good road.
Yeah, seriously.
- We don't normally go left here.
- I know, mate, it's really good.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
- Am I gonna like it? - Yeah, 100% mate.
- [James] You'll love it, amazing road.
- I'm not 100% sure I do like this new road.
It's not very flat, is it?
- Oh mate, it flattens off in a bit.
You'll be alright, it flattens off in a bit.
Just keep digging in.
- Oh good god!
- Nearly there, mate. - What?
- Just keep with it
- Now, another great tip is for those of you
who were blessed with the ability to make anyone laugh.
Now, I'm not, clearly, but we can all search
on Google for great one-liners.
Drop one of those at key moments on the climb
and you will not only rob your friend
of oxygen from their lungs, but power from their legs.
Hey, James. - Hey, Si.
- You heard about that new restaurant
just opened up called Karma? - No.
- There's no menu, you just get what you deserve.
(James laughing)
Did you hear about the crook
who got caught stealing the calendar?
- No, mate. - Got 12 months.
(James laughing)
I said, so what if I don't know what Armageddon means?
It's not the end of the world.
(James laughing)
My wife and I, we have a laugh about how pathetic we are.
I laugh more. - What?
Si, I don't get that one. - No?
- No.
(laid back music)
Right, now this is a firm favorite,
and I've used it to my benefit over the years.
The trick is to offer some delicious piece of food,
so delicious that they just can't refuse.
And if it's well dry like this, then all the better.
(James chuckling)
Hey Si, try this amazing new gluten-free,
lactose-free, sugar-free, nut-free chocolate rice cake.
- Oh wow, thanks, James.
That sounds delicious.
(rice cake crunching)
That's really good, isn't it?
- Really good.
- It's really nice, but it's quite,
it's quite dry, isn't it?
- Come on, Si, you can do it.
Just munch it down.
- Have you got any water?
- Nah, just up on the top.
(jaunty music)
- Now, those last three were very much
about being a good friend, you know.
Offering your mate something to eat
and making them laugh and engaging them
in great conversation.
But desperate times call for desperate measures,
and nothing is more effective
than simply skipping turns on the front.
But you need to use this sparingly,
otherwise you may well find that you don't have
any friends left to ride with.
However, there is a great way around this.
Everyone loves a compliment.
See, watch this.
We're currently doing 32K an hour.
James, you are so strong today, mate.
It's like riding behind a motorbike.
34.
James, have you lost weight?
36.
I'm serious, mate, you are looking so ripped.
You're like, I've just never seen you so lean.
38.
Hey James, do you want me to give you a turn?
- No, mate, I got this.
Feeling really good, really good.
(energetic rock music)
Mate. - Yeah.
- Cafe's only around 2K away.
- Is it? - Not far away at all.
- That'll be nice.
I might start to lean a little bit.
- So last one, by fooling them into thinking
the cafe is only 2K up the road,
they are likely to toast themselves
long before they actually make it to the cafe,
which is further away than 2K.
So when they up the tempo,
take your chance to sit on the wheel for a few moments.
Wait for them to tire before cruising off to cafe win glory.
We all know, last one in buys the round.
Alright, mate. - Right.
- Don't worry, mate, I've ordered for you.
But I guess it's your round, mate, sorry.
Yeah.
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