Today, we're diving into the top 10 most common mistakes that men
make that turn women off, and we're gonna get two different
examples, one guy on his first date, and one who's in a
relationship so that you can learn from each of these
mistakes instead of making your own. Hi, I'm Caitlin V, sex and
relationship coach and I have been working with men to improve
their sex relationships for the last several years, my focus
today is actually on helping you prevent some of the most common
mistakes that I see men making. And some of these are actually
quite a mind, because they actually are things that men are
told make them more attractive, and actually tend to make less.
So be on the lookout for any of these mistakes. And if you find
yourself making these mistakes, not a big deal, easy to course
correct. And if you need some additional help you can apply to
work with me and my team of coaches below. Alright, on to
our first gentleman tonight. His name is Andre, he is a young
bachelor, I'm going to walk you through his evening, show you
the couple mistakes that he's made, and compliment him for
doing a couple things. Right. All right, Bachelor Number one,
Andre, right off the bat is about to make his first mistake.
And that is showing off here we see him posing with his shirt
off in front of the bathroom mirror. His other pictures show
off fancy cars, hot tubs, expensive watches. When a girl
sees this, what does she think? Oh, now you might see other guys
doing this on Tinder or Bumble or the swipe app of your choice.
But for the most part, when a woman sees this, all she thinks
about is this guy is shallow. He cares more about status symbols.
He's obsessed with his own apps. And he's trying to attract a
woman who only cares about those things, and doesn't have any
depth. Women are far more interested to know what you
actually like doing like you like working on cars, you have a
comic book collection, it is far better to show that you are a
full human being with preferences and more to say
about yourself than you know your six pack in the mirror that
is going to attract a woman who actually wants to go out with
you for you and not for your car. Let's say Andre has made a
match HAZOP. And now let's zoom into his private messages to see
what mistakes could be lurking inside of this inbox. Because
guess what, when you are messaging back and forth with a
woman and even if you're in a relationship and you're texting
back and forth with your partner, your wife, you are
setting the vibe for what is about to happen, what's going on
that night. Or if you have not met her you only have the
messages really to determine whether or not she's going to
meet up with you at all. Which brings us to mistake two out of
10 coming in too hot. Here we see Andre saying I would love
nothing more than to stuff my inside of your Andre he hasn't
even met this woman yet. And he's already sexting. This is
going to make her feel a little freaked out and be like she
cannot trust him and see like he's probably only into her for
the wrong reasons. But there is one thing that Andre does that
makes this redeemable and that is that he asks her questions he
shows that he is interested in who she is interested in her
life. Which brings us to mistake number three guys if you get in
the DMS and all you can talk about is yourself. You don't ask
questions you don't show interest. You don't ask a follow
up question. Ask more than one question in a row. Why did she
choose that career? What kind of values does she bring into the
workplace like you can ask the basic asked question, what do
you do for a living as long as you then follow it up with some
interesting specific more nuanced questions that let her
know you're actually listening to her and care about who she is
and don't see her as just a piece of meat or a means to an
end. Women are real people. I think it's time that we all
acknowledge that and they've got stuff that they want to share
and say they've got values interests hobbies, asked about
her. Our guy Andre, though, on the other hand is doing a great
job. He is attentive, he is listening. He makes her feel
seen and heard inside of the DMS attraction backup. So our Lady
decides that she wants to meet Andre date scored boom, she
wants him to choose the place and obviously he wants to make
the best first impression. But at this moment, Andre panics I
mean, he's kind of a flip flops and taco truck kind of guy but
he's looking at her pictures making some quick assessments
about her and decides that he wants to take her to the
fanciest restaurant that he can find which leads us to mistake
number four, not being authentic to
yourself. So there they are at a restaurant that he feels
uncomfortable out like he does not belong wearing his formal
loafers and shed and there she is sitting across her him
noticing how stiff he looks. She also wishing that he had chosen
something a little more chill everything I know about you I've
learned over a direct message and now here we are with a white
tablecloth in front of us. And she can tell this is the worst
part of all that he is not living His truth in the moment
he looks at a place he looks like he doesn't belong. And
therefore he looks like he is faking something in order to go
on this date with her a more memorable and comfortable night
for both of them would have been like going to an arcade laughing
and flirting being themselves. I mean, going on a walk to a taco
truck this this like secret little fish taco truck that's
tucked in under the bridge over there, that would have been a
cuter day. Then taking her to the $4 signs restaurant that he
found on Yelp, when he searched date night, he's trying to be
something he's not. And that's unattractive. If you've learned
nothing else from my channel, please learn that guys, you do
not have to be this version of a guy that you think women want
you to be. We just want you to be you. It's the best version of
you. That's what we're here to do. Alright, let's back out of
Andres date. We wish you the best man. Hope you score
tonight. We're gonna move over to the table right next to them
where we find our next bachelor, David? No, David has been dating
his girlfriend for about a year and he's decided to take her out
to this same sappy date night restaurant. And we are going to
find our next five mistakes that David is about to make. All
right, here's David's first mistake, which is not being a
present, David Griffin feels like she is speaking to a brick
wall. He's not making eye contact. His only responses are
Hmm, not being present actually literally hurts the feminine.
And you know what the way you do one thing is the way you do
everything. So if you're not being present with her at
dinner, what are the chances that you're going to be present
with her in bed. So if you're not able to be present with her
practice, tuning in to what she has to say. And if what she has
to say is consistently not interesting to you up, it's time
to change the conversation yourself. Because any human
being sitting in front of you, I don't care if you've known them
for 30 years or 50 years or whatever. Like, there's still so
much more to discover. He's not present. But David has a chance
to redeem himself in his her birthday. And he has bought her
a birthday gift. And yet he is about to make his second
mistake, which is not really taking the time to understand
and listen to his woman. When she opens the present. She
realizes that not only is Dave have not been listening to her
at all. Tonight, he also hasn't been paying attention all year.
You see, she opens her present and it is an expensive but
heinously ugly piece of jewelry. Maybe he'll make it up for her
next year. Or maybe she will just dump his ass, because he is
about to make mistake number seven. And that is talking about
your exes, David launches into a story about his ex and how much
she loved this particular jewelry designer, and how much
of a freak she was in bed after he got her birthday gift. And it
is making her feel self conscious. David should avoid
discussing his exes. All to gather next, David will make his
fourth mistake. So he finally stops telling the story about
his ex. And then she the woman he's been dating for a year
asked him, hey, where do you see our relationship going? And he
responds in a classic mistake that I see all men make by being
ambiguous. He says something along the lines of like, I don't
know, maybe this maybe that maybe we stay together and we
keep doing this, you know? Or Or maybe we don't. He's ambiguous
with his feelings. So she doesn't know if he's playing
games with her if he's just followed some shitty advice from
a YouTuber telling him not to tell her the truth and play a
cagey because you don't want to give women too much power. What
he should say is something on lines of this is how I feel
about you. This is where I see us going in the future. And if
that answer is, I actually don't really see this going anywhere,
being honest, even if it's going to hurt the person in front of
you in this moment is going to prevent both of you from being
hurt a lot in the future. It is cruel, and unfortunately common
for men to not be direct about their feelings because it is
vulnerable. Which actually just brings me to mistake number
nine, which is not being vulnerable at all. Now a lot of
guys assume that you can't be vulnerable with a woman because
you have to play strong, like you're gonna be vulnerable to
other people. But with the partner that is in front of you,
you cannot be actually vulnerable because you'll appear
weak, you will appear soft, she will lose her attraction to you
and it sucks because I see men making this mistake all the
time. They don't know that it actually is doing the opposite.
Your woman actually cares so much more to know what you're
feeling sensitive about what's making you feel vulnerable, what
you're hiding from us, because y'all think you're hiding shit,
and you're not and boy, oh boy, do we go into a tailspin. We get
triggered. We're like, what is he hiding from me? Maybe he was
out buying me that ugly bracelet. Maybe he was seeing
his ex girlfriend so not only are you not letting us in, but
you're also actively hiding doing something because you
think it makes you look weak, please stop doing this name your
feeling out loud to her so that she knows what's going on. And
then move on back to David because this girl really likes
him and she still sees him as husband material, she's decided
to bring him back to her place and have sex with him, which is
where David makes his fifth and final mistake, which is not
learning how to make love to her in the way that she likes. A lot
of the guys that come to work with me are high performers, and
they're already crushing it in the sack. But then when we start
working together, I hear it from them. And maybe I hear it from
their partner, the sex actually isn't as fire as he thinks it
is. She's telling him that it's fire, she's orgasming like it's
fire. But inside, she's actually craving more, she wants to try
new stuff in bed, she wants to bring a woman into bed, she
wants to have a threesome, but she's too afraid because he's so
sure that the sex is good that she doesn't know how to actually
bring up it is not as good as he thinks it is. You may just be
making this mistake, which is not actually learning what she
needs to have a great sexual experience because women need to
be made love to differently every single time could be that
the day before her period starts. She just wants to be God
and back. And it could be that the day that she's ovulating,
she wants you to make sweet, sweet, gentle caressing love to
her. And then the day after that she actually just wants like a
massage and some oral sex. Most men learn a handful of tricks,
maybe with their first or their second girlfriend and then they
just apply them over and over and over again. And if they look
like they're working, you never actually do anything to get
better. But do not fret, you do not have to make this mistake. I
am here to coach you into greatness so that you can
actually hit higher highs the new newer possible in bed so if
that's you please check out my high performance mal sexual
mastery accelerator. I'm going to smooth out all of those rough
edges introduce you to sex stuff you didn't even know exists,
there is new stuff for you to learn. There is so much more
about sex than you could even imagine. And I would love to
show that there is so much more to learn. You can get better you
can make your intimate life, your sex life, your romantic
life on 10,000. So check it out. If that's of interest to you and
you want to optimize your shit. I'm here to help. If not, thank
you so much for joining me make sure that you are like and
subscribe so that you don't make any of these mistakes, or any
other mistakes that could prevent you from being the best
ever and having the best sex life. I'm Caitlin V. Thanks for
tuning in.
Bye