Reddit Relationship Advice.
I walked in on my wife, cheating with a couple.
I came home early from a business trip.
My wife thought I was coming home two days later, but I came home early and I caught her cheating with a couple.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
My wife of eight years was betraying me with two people.
At the same time, I was just in complete disbelief that she would do this to me.
And with a couple, I didn't know what else to do, but leave the house for a while.
I told them both, leave my house.
Now, get the hell out.
They couldn't move fast enough, after they left.
I couldn't do anything.
But leave.
I walked out and just started walking, not knowing where to go or what to do next, It was cold outside.
So, I found a coffee shop nearby and grab some much needed warmth from inside.
I sat there for hours on end before finally coming up with a plan of action that would make me feel better.
I was thinking to myself, she is never going to do this again.
After I had sat there for a while, the place started getting crowded with people coming in and out.
When I got back home, she finally came out of her room after hours of me waiting around at the coffee shop.
I walked into the house, not knowing if she wanted anything else besides more sex or lovemaking or whatever it was.
She saw me sitting on the couch, just staring at nothing but space as if all hope within me died.
I looked up at her and asked her, how long has this been going on with this couple?
How long have you been cheating on me?
She went silent.
I looked at her and she started to cry.
I felt my heart shatter in front of me.
And the floor collapsed under my feet.
She was crying because she knew what she had done.
That it is over now.
Our marriage is officially dead.
She said she has been bisexual.
Since she was a teenager.
I never knew this.
I never knew that my wife liked men and women.
I asked her why she wasn't honest about her sexual orientation.
She said that I probably wouldn't have married her.
If I knew she was BI, she was right.
I wasn't going to marry a woman who liked men and women.
She could cheat on me with anyone.
The couple she was cheating on me with, I don't know anything about them.
Nothing.
I don't know where they are from or where they live.
I asked her, where did she meet them?
She tells me Tinder.
I asked, what is Tinder?
She says, it's a dating app.
I was in shock.
I thought she was going to tell me that they were coworkers or something like that.
But, it was a dating app.
She says that most of her friends are on this dating app too.
So, she was sending them naked pictures from time to time.
But, not often because they always wanted more than just nudes.
I was hurt, but, at least now I know what kind of person she really is underneath.
All those lies and deception.
As I sat there, listening to her, I was thinking, how can I go about finding out who this couple was?
But I quickly came to the realization that I wasn't going to find out.
And that's when I came up with a punishment, I was going to make sure she never did this again.
And at the same time, *WARNING* other men and women of what can happen if you allow her into your life.
Even though I was planning to divorce her, I wanted revenge.
I was angry at her for the betrayal and not coming to me.
Then I told her, I don't think I can stay in this marriage.
After what I saw, the next day, I left the house to go see an attorney, to see what I can do.
When I sat down with the attorney, he asked me if we had any kids, what did she do for a living?
And why are you divorcing her?
I told him I wanted to make it hard for her.
So I'm going to take all of my 401k and just about everything we have in the bank, because she deserves that, after talking with the attorney, he said, there is a way, but you're going to need some patience.
He explained how much this will hurt her financially.
If she were ever to get remarried again.
Or try living on her own without any money coming in from me or any other source whatsoever.
The attorney indicated that since we didn't have any kids, this divorce would be easier for me.
I didn't have to pay alimony either, because.
One, she is a podiatrist and makes more than me and she wouldn't need any financial support.
When I left the attorney's office, I went home, walked in the door.
My wife was standing in the kitchen.
She looked at me and asked where I had been.
I told her I went to see an attorney to see what my options are in divorce.
She turned her head, and started crying.
I did not go over to console her.
Then, she looked at me and said, I am so sorry for this.
I did not say anything.
I put my keys on the table and went up to our bedroom, started packing some clothes because I needed to get away for a few days.
We had a discussion about our whole marriage.
What went wrong, who is at fault for it.
She blamed herself because of her affair with another couple.
We started in January of this year, at this point
I didn't care.
I was sort of checked out mentally, so to speak.
She started pleading and pleading to give her another chance.
She said she would do marriage counseling.
I told her, I don't think marriage counseling would help because you kept your sexual orientation from me.
And you will probably cheat again.
After that she started pleading again.
Then something strange happened.
The wife looked up at me and said, with a smile, I will give you access to my phone, passwords or whatever you need.
So I can regain your trust.
I looked down at my wife and said there was nothing to regain trust on.
She asked, what do I have to do for you to forgive me?
I still love you.
I realized at that point, I still love her.
But not to the extent of being married to her, the sight of her with two people in our bed, still traumatizes me.
She just kept on and on.
I think she is starting to realize the magnitude of her mistake.
I still love her to an extent, but not enough to stay in this marriage.
The next day, she comes up to me and looks me in the eye and begged me to give her one more chance with tears rolling down her face.
She told me that she did not sleep a wink last night.
I told her, I don't think I can.
I don't think there's anything you can do to make me not move forward with the divorce.
After I said that, she said, what if we can try a trial trust run?
I said, what.
What is that?
She said you would give me one more chance to prove to you that you can trust me.
You can do anything.
You can look through my phone, everything.
I won't delete anything.
I said, I would have to think about it.
I told her there are no guarantees.
That I would agree to this.
Even after I thought about it, I told her that she hurt me really bad and betrayed my trust, which I don't think she can repair.
She said, please, please give it some thought.
I told her that I still love her, but not enough to continue to be her husband.
She again, started crying and said, please give her another chance.
When she said that I was thinking she was going to let me have access to her phone.
I could track it and install software to recover, deleted messages.
If I wanted, she seemed desperate.
I told her that I just wanted to be happy and she made me very unhappy.
She said, well, can't you think about it?
She got up from the couch and hugged me tightly, which was a little awkward because of what we were discussing, but, still pleasant.
After a couple of days, I told her that I agreed to this trust run.
I have never heard of this.
So I told her I want her passwords and access to her phone.
I told her, I wouldn't check her phone every day.
And we are only doing this for a month.
I also told her that I am not stopping the divorce process either.
I indicated that I haven't filed yet, but that's still on the table.
She screamed with joy that I wouldn't throw away the marriage just yet.
I don't know why I agreed to this.
She also told me she deleted
Tinder and told the couple that.
She didn't want to see them anymore.
I told her that if I find anything suspicious or she lies to me about anything, we are done, I also told her that all of this is on you, the marriage or saving the marriage is all up to you.
You cheated.
So, you need to fix it.
And I will decide if we go forward after I think you have proven yourself to my surprise.
She agreed.
I am not sure this is going to work, but she seems overjoyed that I gave her another chance.
Part of me wanted to, but another part says I should have just continued with the divorce.
I guess I didn't want to give up totally after eight years of marriage.
Well, guys, I am done posting this.
I hope you guys don't criticize me too much.
I may have made it a bad decision, but this is all on her.
Now.
Also, I will give an update in the coming weeks.
This concludes, this Reddit Relationship Advice video.