What up pimps?
Let's get roiiiight
Into the Recap! Guys, welcome back to another H3 recap...
We're gonna be talking about some of the spiciest memes that have boiled to the surface over the past couple of weeks.
First story: your boy Hugh Mungus, the greatest, sweetest, most "totes adorbs" man on the internet is back, back in action.
[various sound bytes of people saying "hugh mungus"]
He's running for a seat on Seattle City council. Check out this blog where they announced the seven candidates running for this seat.
And look who they got, tucked away at the bottom: the dark horse
Ya boi Hugh Mungus is going to sweep the whole damn thing and they got him tucked in the bottom. He deserves more dignity than this!
Now this guy is such a salt-of-the-earth. We all gave him a hundred fifty thousand dollars, and just last week
He was spotted on the bus. This guy drives his truck around; he's still gardening... is he qualified to sit on the City council?
Probably not, but I mean how bad could he fuck it up? I mean, look at these other guys running...
it's like... Give this guy a chance. Maybe he'll kill it.
I mean that or there'll be a full-blown apocalypse in Seattle, but who would you choose?
Rudy, or Bon Jovi's broke ass cousin?
I want a normal-ass dude in office and see- what can he do? You know, maybe he'll make a humongous difference.
Goteem. Tip the beanie to you, sir. Great luck in the election.
LET'S GET RIGHT INTO THE
recap.
The next story-
We've talked a lot about these inappropriate kid's channels
And the lengths that people are going to get those juicy kid's views. It pays way more cPM...
Apparently people making like ten dollars per thousand views. People from my world make way less than that.
It's a new gold rush to make content for kids... except some people have gone a little astray:
You've got the Bradberries, got the inappropriate
Spider-Man/Elsa shit; super sexual, super-violent. This is something I've never seen before.
This is something I never anticipated. I don't know how it can get weirder than this, this is it
this is as weird as it gets guys, after this, just shut it down. I present to you: "Kids Toys Utube Brazil."
[kazoo music]
[Kill Bill sirens]
So you have women in lingerie...
smoking cigarettes. That's kids- that's kids channel in Brazil. That's what the kids enjoy.
Ok, well, let's have a look and see, maybe... it's just a thumbnail thing. Maybe the content is fine.
[match being struck]
Very relaxing. It's very ASMR. I like the the silence but- and also the deafening static at the same time.
[loud static sound effect]
As a child, I think this is really appropriate, because not only does it teach you to smoke at an early age,
you can also jerk your little ding-dong,
which is pretty much the only thing YouTube is good for these days, so you can have a cigarette, you can jerk off?
It's great for the kids.
[even louder static]
You know what? It was probably a mistake. Okay, mistakes happen...
you put a wrong ch- video on a channel...
it happens sometimes, let's click another one and just make sure that this is- this is what kids should be watching.
Okay, okay, alright, alright, alright, no no, no, nope, that's not...
[EthanWoop]
[Claps] All right, hey kids welcome to YouTube Kids Channel Brazil (Spanish accent)
I should have known when I saw the Brazil in the title that this was going to go way too far.
[Brazil, Braziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil]
Yes, it's inappropriate, but between this and looking at Ethan Bradberry with his ass up as Spider-Man as his brother comes in and succulently
grabs his ass and goes in for the fuck...
I'm thinking imma have my kids watch this. I think even this is more appropriate than the Bradberry Spider-man/Elsa shit
I think we've found the weirdest kids channel, but every month I get shocked and surprised at what we find.
Let's lock it up guys. Let's just call it a day. I don't know what could be weirder than this.
That being said, um, if you guys know what this fetish is called, please let me know because I have a friend who's...
He- I know he's into this and he... I know he'd like to see this so if you guys know where to find more of
these kind of kids videos... for my friend, just write it in the comments because it's not for me, I'm just...
So TechRax is a channel that we've talked about previously. He is a tech review channel with a twist. What he does is just... breaks
expensive equipment for pretty much no reason just to be like "Hey kid, fuck you, I've got money, get rekt." But he posted a new video that kind of went over the limit for me and a lot of people, called
Casting Cockroaches + iPhone 7 in Molten Aluminum, and I gotta be frank. I mean, up until this point,
I was on board with his videos...
I thought- you know he's just breaking shit, it's his stuff, but this video was a little disturbing, and I didn't really understand
why he did it? [TechRax]: What's up guys, TechRax here,
So I've got a beautiful iPhone 7 Plus here in my hands this thing is just gorgeous: matte black...
Such a beautiful iPhone 7 Plus. [Ethan]: I really need to commend you on the production quality of this video TechRax; the sound levels...
[loud whirring noise from background of video]
Mmm. I didn't even need to watch it. Just crank up the sound and enjoy that- ooh, it's so peaceful...
[whirring returns]
Guys, I just simply love this phone. But in this video, we are going to be casting
cockroaches with Molten aluminum, check this out.
[Ethan]: I don't like cockroaches
I don't like them, but they're still animals.
So I'm already taking this personally dude. Why are you freaking out my girl dawg? Cockroaches are disgusting
a lot of things, but can they survive a simple pour of Molten aluminum? Let's find out.
Madagascar hissing cockroaches guys these things can survive a week without their head, nuclear explosions,
a lot of things, but can they survive a simple pour of Molten aluminum? Let's find out.
You just burned a living creature alive for entertainment on YouTube,. Also, someone's screaming stop. [TechRax background voice]: STOP
Can we talk about that? Someone in the corner is like, "Don't do it dude! Stop!"
A, Are we surprised?
What's the experiment? That when you pour Molten Lava on a creature it- you want to see if it dies or not? Is that the experiment?
[I] mean yes, yes...yes, really conclusive evidence here.
[TechRax]: Beautiful puddle of aluminum guys. Let's get it out
Look at that!
You poured Molten
Lava
On a phone and a cockroach. Let me take a guess here, the phone doesn't work, and the cockroaches are dead.
Man, this was fucking RIVETING huh?
The second take still has this guy screaming "stop", you could edit it out
But I guess it's just not the same without the human agony, you know. [I] mean look, I know that
we don't like cockroaches, and I know that we as humans kill billions of animals every year for food and shit
But at the same time I feel like this is completely, needlessly,
inappropriately cruel. Just to burn them alive for some shitty experiment because apparently they don't die in Nuclear bombs?
Incidentally they all survived and the phone still worked.
No, that's not true. Everything is fucking burned
[TechRax]: Check it out guys, there is the phone
[Ethan]: Hit it dude, beat it up man
fuck that phone up dawg
There are some of us out here who can't afford an iPhone 7 make sure we all feel it dude, break the hell out of it.
You better be eating those cockroaches, so they don't go to waste, by the way.
[TechRax]: They are
Oh cool, dude. I burned them alive, let me just stomp on their charred remains too while I'm at it!
[Ethan immitating video]: STOP
[TechRax]: I think they're asleep guys. Thanks for watching as always, stay tuned for more videos and... peace out.
Guys stay tuned for our video next week. I've been able to smuggle a nuclear bomb from ISIS
I will be dropping it on my neighbor's house. There's an iPhone 7 that happens to be at the center of the explosion
I'll be sure to come stomp on their charred remains and see if the iPhone works
It's gonna be a crazy experiment guys. And finally, guys. I want to give a huge quick
thank you to the nicest motherfuckers in the world. When I say the nicest person in the world, who is it that you think of?
Gandhi? Bill Gates? Warren Buffett? Tai Lopez? All those people are assholes compared to this next person.
Dunkey and his girlfriend Leah sent me a fuckin' Nintendo Switch
I couldn't get it anywhere, and I says - I'm talking to them - I says, man, I can't buy the switch anywhere
They're like, you know what? We're the nicest people in the world. We have an extra. Give me your address,
I says no, no, please don't send it it's too nice of a gift, guess what showed up this morning. Some people have cured diseases. Eradicated polio.
People that are out in Africa curing HIV and working with the poorest, most
disenfranchised people in the world. They're all assholes
Compared to Dunkey and Leah. Thank you guys so much.
I'm going to go play Zelda now. Thank you guys so much for watching
I hope you enjoyed this week of let's get right into the news, H3 recap. And I'll most definitely be seeing you guys next time.
Thank you so much, ta ta