-This Mother's Day, don't give mom that bottle of perfume.
Give her something that says, "I'm not a woman anymore.
I'm a mom."
Are you looking for the perfect gift for mom this Mother's Day?
Introducing Mom Jeans, exclusively at JCPenney.
-♪ Mom Jeans ♪
♪ Mom Jeans ♪
-Mom Jeans fit mom just the way she likes it.
She'll love the 9-inch zipper and casual front pleats.
Cut generously to fit a mom's body.
She'll want to wear them to everything,
from a soccer game to a night on the town.
And with your choice of ankle-length,
capri-length, or shorts,
you'll find the perfect jean for even the least active of moms.
-♪ Put on your Mom Jeans ♪
-So this Mother's Day, don't give mom that bottle of perfume.
Give her something that says, "I'm not a woman anymore.
I'm a mom."
-♪ When you've given up ♪
♪ Given up ♪
♪ Put on your Mom Jeans ♪
-Get a free appliqué Mom Jeans vest with every purchase
this weekend at JCPenney.
-It's Mother's Day.
And there's no better way to express your feelings
than Hallmark.
Because every mother is special.
But your mother is most special of all.
Because it's you in a dress.
Introducing the Hallmark "Mother" Collection...
for weirdos.
Because you're not just a good son...
you're also a wonderful mother.
So show yourself you care.
Because your mother will never leave you
as long as you keep dressing like her and talking like her...
-Aaaah! [ Sobbing ]
-...and being a good boy.
Because you're crazy about mother.
The Hallmark "Mother" Collection.
Available this Mother's Day.
-Flowers are nature's most beautiful gift.
So this Mother's Day, I'm gonna show my mom how much I care
with a little help from 1-800-Flowers.
Happy Mother's Day, Mom!
-Oh, honey, I love these. Thank you.
-The gift that's as wonderful as she is.
-But maybe you should keep them 'cause your apartment is so sad.
-Because my mom means everything to me.
And I love everything about her.
-Excuse me? -Yeah?
-Are there nuts in this?
-There are never nuts in eggs Benedict.
You don't have to ask that every time.
-Well, I'm sorry for double-checking, Kathleen.
-You're not even allergic. Nothing would happen.
-I'd barf on my plate is what would happen.
-I guess you could say she's my favorite person
in the whole entire world.
You know that mattress store downtown?
Mattress Factory? -No.
-Mattress Warehouse? -No.
-The owner hanged himself. -Mom.
She's my role model, my best friend,
and everything I hope I'll be one day.
-I can't find my debit card.
I think my identity's been thieved.
-I'm sleeping! -Representative.
-Why are you up?!
-Representative!
2-4-5 --
-[ Screams ]
So this Mother's Day, I'm turning to 1-800-Flowers
to help thank my mom for all the amazing times.
-Hey, what's the latest with that LeAnn Rimes girl?
-I have no idea.
-What a saga that is. Geez.
-And, above all, how open and honest we are with each other.
-Last week, your father and I watched a porno.
-Why would you share that with me?!
So call or click today
and make this a Mother's Day she won't ever forget.
-Still can't find my debit card!
-Mom, I am doing a commercial!
-Gonna double-check inside this guy.
God, I wish I was a lesbian so I didn't have to carry a purse.
Where are you going?
Honey, it's your commercial.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
Come back! Come back!
-1-800-Flowers.
And buckle up, 'cause Father's Day is next.
-Kathleen, it was an Asian porno.
-Dad!
-This Mother's Day, why not show mom just how special she is
by surprising her with one of millions of gifts
from amazon.com?
-Alright, let's be quiet.
Mom has no idea we're bringing her breakfast in bed, okay?
Shh, shh, shh!
-Which means there's a million ways
to give your mother a surprise she'll never forget.
-Happy Mother's Day!
-What are you doing? Get out!
-"Fifty Shades of Grey."
Isn't that that sex book?
-What? No. Go outside.
-Look, a microphone.
♪ Mommy ♪
-[ Chuckles ]
-Because with Amazon,
a million surprises for mom are just a click away.
-Surprise!
-Get the [bleep] out of here!
-Is that "Fifty Shades of Grey"?
-No, i-it's a cookbook.
-Mom, we got you bath stuff.
-I see that, Jonah. Thank you.
You can just put it down over there.
-On amazon.com, mommy surprises come in all sizes.
-Mom, happy Mother's D--
-Oh, "Fifty Shades of Grey"?
-Get out.
-Is that Joel McHale?
-No, it's your dad. Get out!
-So this Mother's Day, go to amazon.com
and get mom what she really wants --
"Fifty Shades of Grey" on Kindle.
-Alright, come on. Get next to the kids.
I want to get a picture. Ready?
1, 2...
[ Camera beeps, clicks ]
Yay! Oh, honey, you're not smiling.
-The Kindle What are you reading, Mom?
We'll never know.