- [Announcer] Stick around to the end of the video
for an exciting announcement.
- Can you say hi.
- This is where I was.
- She's like, yeah, this is what we're doing.
- Yeah, sure.
- I definitely look back on that video.
And I'm like, we were babies.
We had no idea what we were talking about.
(upbeat music)
- [Instructor] My baby's father is still involved
in our lives.
Three, two, one, go.
I think last time-
- I was all the way over there.
Everything's changed.
I was 14.
I got pregnant and my boyfriend was 14 as well.
And after the paternity test,
the court introduced visitation.
She was 10 months old.
Sorry, she was 10 months old,
and she finally got to meet her dad
and the visitation kept up for a while,
but recently he's been getting into fights
and I'd rather do it alone than with him at this point.
It was really hard before
and it's done a complete 180.
We were able to get through everything,
there was a lot of things to get through.
And I had to let go of a lot of pain
that I was holding towards him that was directly affecting
like co-parenting because with co-parenting
it's not about what they did to you,
it's about you have a kid together
and he stepped up to the role and he's an awesome dad.
And I am so grateful.
- Yeah, my boyfriend is still completely involved
in our daughter's life.
And for me, I'm like so proud of how he has grown
as a father because he just really
was not prepared whatsoever.
And it really took like a lot of like, just time
and like patience with him and her
to just like grow that bond
'cause I know they struggled at first.
Now he's in school, but it's still awesome to know
that he's like completely like capable of watching her.
- [Instructor] Relationships change after you have a child.
Three, two, one, go.
- Yeah, completely like friendship wise,
It's so hard to maintain
like friendships that you had before you were a mom
and be able to like go out the same
and hang out with friends the same.
But then I do have friends who have like stuck with me
throughout being pregnant and having a baby.
And those are now her aunties.
- My friendships or relationships,
they either went positive or negative.
Like none stayed.
With my husband, our relationship has gotten stronger.
Since the last video, honestly we both emotionally
have matured a lot.
And with my parents and his parents,
we've gotten closer because I feel like when we started
our relationship we were kind of like,
ugh, I don't wanna go see my mom.
But now we're like, all we wanna do
is be with both our moms.
- I cried immediately for my mom and how badly I treated her
as a teenager before I had my daughter.
And I cried for my sister how I treated them,
teachers all of the things that we were given
and I was entitled to.
And after having a kid, it all changed.
- Yeah, my view on relationships, just like I said
in the first video just changed just what their purpose is.
Especially when I got thrown into being a young single mom
and just lost what felt like everybody
including my family for a period.
But thank God they all came back
but that was just complete loneliness.
So I look at relationships as a huge commitment,
something that two people go,
okay, I'm ready to pour into you,
and are you ready to pour into me?
- [Instructor] I want to have more kids.
Three, two, one, go.
- Okay, I'm surprised everybody said yes.
So in the last video I was,
I think about a month into being a mom.
Like he was a newborn,
and then five months later I got pregnant again.
- [Audience] Wow.
- Yeah, she was planned to.
We just don't have a lot of babies in our family
and I didn't want him to grow up alone.
And right now I'm on somewhat agree because two is a lot.
It's scary to have more,
like I don't wanna plan the next one.
- Eventually I do want kids, not anytime soon
because I'm still trying to get my degree.
And my boyfriend's in law school at this point.
Even though I'm excited to have kids,
like a part of me is like,
crap, you have to go through the baby phase again
and like all that.
But I know it'll be easier being older and more stable.
- I'm excited for that.
Once you get to four, you're gonna be like, I miss that.
When she did not have an opinion on anything,
that was a good time.
So strongly agree, I would like to adopt,
I would like a small village of children.
I would like all ages just running around everywhere.
I think kids are so awesome.
And they're so good at teaching you things
that you didn't even know you needed to learn.
I feel like my whole life
God's just gonna be sending me kids.
- What's your like preferred number?
I'm curious.
Is it like more than four?
- Seven's my preferred number.
- Oh my God.
- It's a perfect number.
Yeah , we're gonna have a school bus just filled with kids.
That's my goal.
- I cannot wait to see it.
I love that.
Now that I've seen what it's like to live alone
and be a parent, not still be at my mom's house,
it's a lot more and I do want more kids
but once Everly's grown up,
I want my other kids to be grown up
so I have time to be myself
and kind of separate myself from being a parent.
Still be a parent obviously,
I'm still gonna talk to my kids after they're 18.
So if I just keep popping out babies
I feel like I'm never gonna learn who I truly am
to the fullest extent.
- [Instructor] Having a child
was a massive financial burden.
Three, two, one, go.
- I feel like my situation's really unique
because I do YouTube and that's how I earn my income.
I also do other things, but YouTube being the main one
but without her, I would not have had this channel,
I wouldn't have found a place where I to try
to inspire other moms, but also at the same time
try to prevent teen pregnancy
because before I got pregnant, I was going nowhere.
I was depressed, it was bad.
- I feel like I was blessed with the opportunity
that I was able to plan it and have some savings
so it wasn't really a burden.
My husband and I learned how to budget,
we learned how to make investments,
but the behind the scenes you have all this whispering
and talking like, oh, teen mom, no money,
and immediately correlate it, but.
- The biggest childcare expense I have had to pay,
I mean a lot of people don't realize taking care
of your kids, that is expensive.
There's school, there's work and things that I could do
and want to do that I don't/can't
because I'm with my daughter all the time.
So I have to be very flexible
at what I can actually do with her.
I'm so happy to do so,
but going to court with my child's father
was the most expensive thing I've ever gone through
my entire life and wasn't debt for.
And just, nobody talks about that.
If you're gonna have a kid,
there's weird expenses that will pop up.
- Like when my daughter was born,
there weren't like a lot of costs because I was so blessed
to be able to like breastfeed exclusively.
And I feel like that's one of the biggest costs
like when you have a newborn
is like how expensive formula is.
So I feel like I never felt the financial burden
until I was like, I have to go to work
and she has to go to school.
It is a financial burden
because I need someone to watch her.
I don't have family, my boyfriend's in school.
This is how it is for a lot of moms
that you get your paycheck,
and like almost a majority of it goes straight to childcare.
And so it's like, why am I even working
if it's all going to childcare?
But at the same time you do need
that like surplus amount that you get, yeah.
- [Instructor] I worry I'm not a good parent.
Three, two, one, go
- Wow.
Go, you.
(laughing)
- I think it comes down to what you define
good parenting as.
And when it comes down to it,
a good parent is someone who loves their child
and will do everything to support them.
There are times where I feel kind of worried that,
oh crap, did I yell too much a day or something?
But the end, I love my child
and I think that's what defines a good parent.
- [Instructor] Thinking of your parents,
do you try to emulate your parents
as you parent your children?
Or do you run from that idea?
- I personally run from it just because it was a lot
of physical disciplining growing up
and it was more mentally draining.
I feel like my parents' priority was just be good at school.
And here's food and here's a house
and you're perfectly well taken care of
because you have your necessities
but I feel like emotions should be added in that category
not just food, water, and shelter.
- My parents were good parents and they were very loving
but their priorities as parents was very different.
I think the old way of thinking
was if your kids listen to you, then you're a good parent.
If they follow the rules, then you're a good parent.
Successful adults are not ones
that follow "rules",
they're people that think outside of the box,
that make good decisions 'cause they're the right decisions
not because everyone's watching them.
The way of thinking back then was so different
and they did the best with what they had.
And I very much love them for that
but I'm trying to do it differently.
- [Instructor] Having a baby change my life for the better.
Three, two, one, go.
- So before I had my daughter,
I was thinking of what my suicide note was gonna say.
I was not in a good place.
She saved my life and not only got better, but it was saved
because I had a reason to life and work on myself.
I had a reason to become a better person and heal.
Since then my life has gotten so amazing
in ways that I never imagined possible
because of being a parent.
- It's no longer, like I'm just doing this for myself.
I mean, I can't compare to you guys yet
'cause I don't have my baby yet.
But like, I mean it's as simple as the getting up
and going to my class but I have a whole new motivation
to do something as simple as that
and strive for my best, so.
- Of course I never planned for her to come
but when I did find out I was pregnant
and then once I had her,
it was like this insurmountable amount of joy and love
that just sudden really fills your heart.
Being young and having a child,
like there's challenges that come with that.
But when you look at the big picture of things,
like we're able to love them and support them
and breeze these wonderful little human beings, yeah.
- I see my life back then and I was pretty cold with babies
and like the people around me.
I wouldn't really say I love that much.
And now I'm just like grabbing cheeks
and hugging every single person
I have the opportunity to hug because life is short.
And you realize that when you have babies
because we were just talking about how old they've gotten
since the last video and it breaks my heart
that they're just going to go up from here.
Like there's no pausing time.
- You cannot 'cause I know it's annoying.
- No, no no, it's okay.
- You wanna walk here?
- Can you hi?
- You wanna go [Inaudible].
- Where's the baby?
- Cheese.
- Okay, I want hugs.
Bring it in, bring it in, amazing.
- [Announcer] Hey good humans.
Do you love Spectrum?
If so, you're in luck.
We're actually making a game you can play at home
with your friends and family.
Or you can answer your questions like this.
Having a college degree is overrated.
I agree, I have one and it's never helped me
in any way of my life.
(upbeat music)
- Oh she walks.
- Did they come over here?
- Oh, are you all right? (baby coughing)
- Isn't she cute that she matches her mommy?