What to do if your husband treats you
badly?
My name is Paul Friedman, I founded The
Marriage Foundation
and let's unpack this a little bit. Shall
we?
So maybe you married wrong,
maybe you married a man who was treating
you badly when you were dating
and you're just the kind of person
who chose to allow that.
Well, your husband's not going to change
but let's be more realistic.
Realistically what happened was during
the dating and
courting period of your relationship
with your husband,
he treated you with respect,
lovingly, went out of his way to give you
compliments.
Shared his heart's feelings with you,
treated you in a way that made you feel
loved
that made you feel that by marrying him
your life would be happier and happier
which is what it's supposed to be.
What happened? What happened is,
chances are not a hundred percent
but chances are you both
started taking each other for granted,
mistreating each other.
No longer complimenting, no longer
admiring,
not smiling as much, arguing,
doing stupid things to each other.
When I say stupid things I mean things
that degraded your relationship
that imposed upon your happiness
that eclipsed the love.
What do you do? This is not rocket
science.
This doesn't require a specialist.
It's common sense. You go
back. Don't ask your husband too.
You go back to treating him
the way you treated him when you are
first dating.
Start expressing your love for him.
Bite your tongue before you say anything
that's critical
or negative. Make your face
smile towards him.
It's your mind, you have control over it.
You have free will but what happens is
we become
reactive. We allow our habitual
reactive mode to get in front of our
good sense and we start
misbehaving so you have to turn that
around.
Now, will that turn him around? Yeah
why wouldn't it. If someone
was mistreating you, let's put the shoe
on the other foot,
and then they made a decision to start
treating you
really well, didn't say anything. Don't
say anything to your husband
but started treating you really well. You
would start to respond to that
and that's what you should be doing.
I really advise that you get one of my
books either Breaking the Cycle or
Lessons for Happy Marriage and learn
about marriage.
Learn about yourself as a woman.
Learn about your husband as a man.
Start controlling your behavior,
controlling your mind. Get
the results from your marriage that you
wanted from the very beginning.
You wanted love. You can have love.
You wanted happiness. You can have
happiness. You have free will. You have
volition.
Set it into motion.
Also, it won't hurt you to subscribe to
this channel.
Learn more about marriage every day,
learn more. Your marriage is the
most important thing in your life.
Make it so. Take advantage of this
situation.
Don't be victimized by your own mistakes.
Okay. If you have further questions, if
you have a situation, write into our
counselors at The Marriage Foundation.
Many people get some really good answers
and that's all they need,
other people need to take the course.
Whatever your needs are
deal with it -- this is your marriage.
Blessings to you, your husband, and your
family!
Thank you for spending time with me! God
bless!