[ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC]
(RAPPING) Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One night in town, fresh to the ground.
Battle of the bands.
Jump in the crowd.
WOMAN: Cheers.
Another beer down.
Twenty more to go.
Forty more to go.
WOMAN: Not on my watch.
I'm just playing.
Hey!
How's the angel? 'Cause you're definitely not the devil.
Hey, beautiful, you smell so good as always.
You too.
So today I'm really excited.
All the couples are going on a date at Zay's Lounge.
Hey!
Y'all chill.
Not going to be any group sessions.
We're just going to be couples having some drinks
and just kicking back and talking about the process.
The amount of work we've done in such a small time--
I'm like, listen.
I need to see you more often.
Just pulls back layers.
She does.
It's crazy, and it's, like, the top layer
is like a pineapple.
Once she get that top layer off, you could come in and be like,
look. Look.
We're not going to discuss this.
[CHUCKLING]
Am I lying?
But I don't feel like you're giving it to me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She pulls straight through that.
Yeah.
Now with Dr. Stacey guiding us more and digging deeper
into me and Zay's relationship, I feel like the communication
is definitely getting better.
They need your help.
We're not where we want to be communication wise,
but I see him trying.
And that's like-- gives me butterflies.
So how y'all feeling about it right now?
Like, what have you learned?
But like, that one thing that you did not know about yourself
that you're like, huh!
I think it was the control thing.
Because, like, literally when we were coming into the process--
Yeah.
--my finger was pointed this way.
It was like, Jaysha is the problem.
Yeah.
I was like, what's--
I'm good.
What's wrong with him?
What about you?
It's more so that I don't have to respond
to Ricky like I did my ex.
That's the-- my one takeaway is not treating Ricky
how I needed to treat my ex.
How old are you? Like--
Thirty.
I just turned 34 in September.
You're right where I was when I had my breakthrough,
and that's why I'm telling you, like, I really see that.
And that's why I was like, I want
to push you because it's like, we hold on to things like this.
Yes.
We give men too much power.
Girl, that was the problem.
Like, I think that's the one thing that means--
they said when we started this process that if Dr.
Stacy was to reveal things that made us feel like we were
not ready, we were going to take the time
we needed to get ready.
Yeah, so abundance, man, abundance.
All day, that's all.
I was going to say, like, having to help me, I think, is really
cool, man, 'cause, like, you've got
a partner you can deal with.
But I know the main part--
for me to be able to insert myself.
Yeah.
I've been opening up this business.
There's going to be ladies around,
and I know how to move in an environment of a lot of ladies.
Yeah, yeah, and a good spot.
Don't mess it up.
You're business minded, man.
Like, you just let her know that about my paper.
This is for us. You know what I'm saying?
If you feel uncomfortable, come up here.
Kick it with me. Come up.
Just see what going on.
I'll see what going on then.
Let's have a seat over here in the unfinished area.
Right.
[CHUCKLING]
But it's a little more uncomfortable.
I like areas like this because baby,
I can see the whole club and sip on my drink.
[CHUCKLING]
So how do you feel with him opening this new lounge?
And it's something my mom reminds me of all the time.
I am the prize.
What I had to learn for myself is I can't control Zay.
I can't stop nothing he chooses to do.
- I've been in that space. - Find another one.
I love that.
And I bet you she couldn't fill my shoes.
If you get a woman like me to stick by you--
I'll emphasize the "me."
Yeah, you get, like, me?
Oh, you have a prize, baby. - See.
That was my thing.
I started in that space because my grandmother
raised me that way. Like, you are the prize.
A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and restores
favor from the Lord, but in my last relationship
it took that space away from me.
Girl, when a man takes your voice away, it's hard--
To get it back.
It's hard to get it back.
It's hard for you to feel like a prize
because they made you feel like you were nothing.
And that's why I be snapping at Ricky,
and I hate it because that relationship.
Yeah.
I don't think I will be in that space
to wait because in this process I've grown so much to where I
really recognize that I am a prize, and being a prize,
you just don't wait on certain things.
That's what working on yourself will do.
And that's why--
It will bring that-- it'll bring you back to realizing,
I am the prize.
Right.
I know what I want to do.
I still want to go ahead and get engaged with Kat.
Yeah.
But at the same time, I know we need more work.
I respect you more about saying how you really feel.
Yeah.
What you really-- you know I'm saying, hold on.
We got a little bit more to do before we do that.
I want to do it for because I feel like--
I believe it's going to happen.
So I'm like, go ahead and get engaged type of thing, right?
But at the same time it's like, we can get better to the point
where we actually get married.
How do you feel if you had to just take
a breather to work on yourself?
At the end of the day, I want to see her happy.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm going to be good regardless.
I feel like-- you know what I'm saying?
I'm be happy.
I'm going to make sure I'm happy.
I know how to be happy by myself,
but I would like to be happy with her.
Ricky was in a space where I ain't
never getting married again. - Girl.
Because he was married before, and it didn't work out the way
he wanted it to.
And so for me, I feel good regardless--
Yeah.
--because I've seen our growth.
So now it's just, like, that last tough decision.
You know, we got a lot to think about.
This was a great outing.
I had such a good time.
Well, y'all, let's go to the table.
It look like the guys came back.
I love this group.
I love-- you know, I love Zay and Jasmine
and Katherine and Ricky, and I just had a blast.
I'm so glad we got a chance to hang out.
I'm glad y'all kind of gave us y'all honest opinion.
We appreciate y'all coming so much.
Like, this means everything to us
to be able to link up with y'all outside of the group session.
Yeah.
We've put a lot of ourselves out and just our energy,
our time, and then just the effort
we put into our relationships-- it's a lot.
Before this process, me and Jaysha never argued.
Oh, yeah.
We never argue.
So then we had our first argument, and I saw how I was.
And I was like, I'm not--
I'm not doing this.
For me, I shut down.
And I find every reason to shut down, trying to talk it
through, listening to Jas, man.
Find another way to vent out without leaving the room.
So for me, it was the control.
That was the hardest thing for me.
I never knew how much therapy worked--
Me either.
--in a relationship--
Me either.
--until this experience.
It's Donna!
[CHEERING]
Thank you so much.
ANNOUNCER: There are more ways to watch OWN now than ever
before.
For more information, go to FindOWN.tv.