You know what's happening in the world, right?
Recently, what's happening in the world.
The attitude shift in everyone.
You've noticed?
Well, everybody wants to change the world.
Every single person right now
is like, "I will change the world."
How?
By telling other people how to do their job.
It's amazing. It's my favourite thing, online.
Someone crashes into a car, someone takes a photo.
"Mumbai police, do your job."
I changed the world.
Yeah, because Mumbai Police has a social media team, no.
"Oh, Prakash! Come on, let's go."
Like they don't have shit to do.
So recently, I took a flight on Jet Airways.
So you know, how recent this is.
Yes!
Let's clap for bankruptcy.
So I reached the airport and everyone's like fighting.
I was like what's going on?
What happened was Jet Airways had combined
two flights into one
and thought no one would notice.
And 300 people are pissed off.
They're like, how can my ticket get cancelled?
How can my ticket get cancelled?
They're like, "Sir, it's your fault only."
So I was like enraged.
I was like, I'm gonna change the world.
And I tweeted, right. I tweeted.
I said, "Jet airways, how dare you cancel my ticket!"
"How dare you do this to me!"
"You know how important I am?"
"How dare you do this?"
Next week the airline only got cancelled, dude.
And I felt so guilty.
Like... is this my fault?
This is the first time I ever complained about something
the whole airline got cancelled.
So I freaked out. I started doing research.
I'm like what happened to Jet airways? Is it me? Did I do something?
Kenny Sebastian tweeted and boom! Stocks fell. I was like "Ooh!"
But it turns out, it was mismanagement, okay.
Classic!
Classic! Someone internally was just siphoning out funds for shit.
The company got bankrupt.
And then I did more research and Indigo is doing incredibly well, okay.
Indigo is so happy.
I was like, why did Indigo succeed and Jet airways fail?
And I figured it out.
Jet airways made the mistake of giving us comfort.
Yeah.
You go to a Jet airways flight and they're like,
"You want a blanket?"
Yeah.
You'll really give me blanket?
Keep it for the full flight...
Keep it and enjoy!
Warm, I'm warm.
"You want food?"
Food?
"Veg or non-veg?"
Choice is there?
Choice!
Veg.
And while you leave the flight they're like
"Kenny!" - Yeah?
"Bye!"
Thank you, Jet airways.
And then the company became bankrupt.
Indigo!
I'm not making this up, Indigo.
I sat on a flight
and I asked the air hostess can I have a blanket and she said
"We don't have blankets only."
Which is a great way
to end an argument.
We've been waiting for 20 minutes can you give me water?
"There's no water in the whole continent, what you'll do, dude?"
It's crazy!
So I was like, but I'm feeling cold.
I want blanket. So he's like, "Sir
"we don't have a blanket on the whole flight."
I said, "Then what do I do if I'm feeling cold?"
"Sir, we'll switch off the AC then."
I was like "Wow!"
Do you know my dad?
Cause this is exactly what he does.
Yeah.
Indigo is my childhood, basically.
I'm like, "No don't switch off the AC."
"Okay, you know what, I just want to eat something."
"Want to eat something? 500 bucks!"
That's so expensive.
Yeah, eating out is expensive.
Don't eat from outside, get your own 'dabba' and come.
And you don't mess with air hostesses in general. It's my request.
'Cause it's a very hard job.
The airline industry is full of very hard jobs that look simple to us, right?
To become an air hostess or a male
whatever.
Air host?
No one cares about them.
You see like a male guy you're like
"Hey, what are you doing here, dude? Go home."
Nobody cares.
They have been trained in emergency situations
where if the plane crashes and if there's a fire,
they have to keep people calm.
That's the level of sophistication and training they have to go through.
But all we hear is, "Sir, we don't have 'Maggi'."
"Sir, we don't have Maggi. What can I do?"
"Sir, please sit down when the seatbelt sign is on."
That's all they do.
I feel so bad.
They say it a billion times.
Don't get up when the seatbelt sign is on.
Correctly, when the plane lands one guy is like, "La la la la."
La la! Everyone just is jumping up.
If you give her a sniper I feel you know she'll take out everyone.
The airport system in India is designed
to make sure you don't get on your flight.
To make sure.
That's their sole purpose. They want you to go back home.
You enter an airport they'll be like, "Hello, where are you going?"
Sir, I...
I have a flight.
You have a flight?
Show ticket.
Why?
Why would I come here
if I didn't have ticket?
Sir, my ticket.
Who's Kenneth Sebastian?
It's me, sir.
It's me.
I won't fly on behalf of my grandfather, no?
It's me.
Show ID.
Now he's looking at the ID.
So now you
have to look
like yourself.
Some comment he has to pass, no?
Haircut?
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. In the four years since I took this photo I took haircut, sir.
And then you enter
and this is the worst part...
where you have to scan your bag
through the X-ray machine.
And the people working here
are
the slowest creatures I've seen.
And I don't blame them. It's a very boring ass job.
Because nobody has done
a thousand push-ups,
gone through mud trenches,
climbed ropes to just
tap people on their armpits, gently.
Nobody wants to do that, so they're pissed.
If you want to see how slow time can go,
get your bag
separated from other bags, that's it.
Sir, that's my bag, sir. That's my bag.
Sir, that's my bag.
"Open!"
Why, sir?
"Open your bag."
Why, sir?
"There's juice.
"There's juice in your bag."
Sir, there's no juice in my bag.
"There's juice in your bag.
"There's juice in your bag."
Sir, I don't know which song this is, sir.
Good luck for your career.
But there's no juice in my bag, sir.
"No, your
"juice is in the bag, otherwise it won't get stopped."
Sir, I remember how I packed my bag, sir.
Underwear, T-shirt, juice... I didn't do that.
I didn't...
Nobody does that, sir.
"Open your bag, there's juice in your bag."
And I open the bag and there was juice in my bag.
I don't know how it happened.
There was juice in my bag, I don't know.
The worst part is
you know, on the flight
when at the end of the flight you leave
and the pilot comes out
and says, "Thank you for flying."
"Have a good day!"
You know, I spoke to some pilots and they say they don't have to do that.
They do it because they love flying
and they want to see the passengers.
They want to thank them.
And apparently,
passengers give them feedback
on the flying.
The arrogance to give feedback to a pilot.
This is how you give feedback to a pilot.
Usually, you'll be like,
"Hey pilot, I know you're a pilot.
"I know what you're doing. I'm sure.
"Obviously, you've been trained and all.
"It's your job actually.
"I just want to give feedback.
"Very simple feedback. Don't feel bad.
"I'm a passenger, yeah.
"I just felt it was a little rough, so
"don't take it... You know, I'm sure your goal
"is to give a smooth landing, no? Of course.
"So anyway, bye. Have a good life!"
That's how you're supposed to give feedback,
if you want to give.
This is how pilots get feedback
about landing.
"Next time!"
Pilot is like
"Mumbai police, please arrest this fellow."