Heya playa, do you ever find yourself getting jealous because your crush is talking to other
people or hanging out with and not really investing time into getting closer to you?
Don't worry, in this video, I'm going to talk you through how to deal with those feelings
of anger, and jealousy, and annoyance, and how to start getting closer to your crush
so you don't have to feel them anymore.
♪ This is The Josh Speaks ♪
♪ You're watching The Josh Speaks ♪
My name is Josh and every single week I make videos sharing tips, ideas, and stories teaching
you how to be your best self and I think the problem that you might be running into is
that you might be idealizing your crush. You feel like they're not interested in anyone
else. They don't want to pursue anyone else or date them so that gives you the open field
to pursue them. And that's a major mistake I think a lot of people run into. They fantasize
that no one else likes their crush. They have no major prospects so it can be kind of hard
to hear that someone else likes them or even worse. Your crush likes someone else that's
not you. This is where those feelings really start to coalesce and start to truly get under
your skin. Huh, my crush sure does like to text that person a lot. Oh, so he's going
to walk her home after school, heh, no problem. Why does she keep telling me she's busy but
she keeps posting pictures on social media with other guys. Here's the truth. Other people
also like your crush. I know you don't want to hear that, you don't even want to think
about that but if you start to feel like there is competition surrounding them. If you feel
like other people are getting closer to your crush when that should be you, you need to
step up. The thing about stepping up though is recognizing what the real challenge is.
It's not you versus all these other people, it's you versus yourself. How you feel and
think about the situation, what you're willing to do. How much you're willing to put yourself
out there. How honest and vulnerable and confident you're going to be in the exchange with your
crush. It's easy to feel like you're at a disadvantage here because other people seem
to be smoothly be integrating with your crush a lot better. But, have you tried actually
asking them out? Have you tried walking up to them and talking to them when you see them
in the hallways? Have you tried DMing them or asking them to video chat or just straight
up telling them that you want to spend time with them one on one? Making a move is definitely
a better strategy than just waiting for the right moment or the right opportunity to actually
start talking to them. You need to do it as soon as you can but what do you do in the
meantime when you do see them interacting with other people, hanging out with other
people, or even potentially flirting with them? How do you handle that? Now, this might
sound a bit backward because you like this person and you want to go out with them but
I think in the meantime you should still be pursuing other people. This is going to prevent
you from falling into what's called "oneitis" where you like one person and you're only
willing to pursue them. You only have eyes for them, you're only thinking about them
and you're neglecting everyone else that you can potentially date and develop a stronger
connection with. Sometimes you like someone so much that you become blinded to the idea
that of pursuing anyone else. And when that happens, your happiness and your sadness become
determined by whatever your crush decides to do. "Hey, they're not talking to anyone
right now. Yea!". "And there they go giving that person a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
Oh". Pursuing multiple people here is going to be beneficial for a multitude of reasons.
The first one being that you're going to be working on your dating skills. You're going
to be getting better at flirting and texting and talking to someone so that's a plus. The
second piece is that you're going to start to feel more confident in your ability to
approach someone. The more you do it, the more you actually go for it, the easier it's
going to be to finally do it with your crush. And third, you're going to start to compare.
A lot of times we like our crush because we're just infatuated with them but as you meet
more people you start to pick up on the skills you want to find in a partner and then it
becomes easier to see if your crush aligns with that. But at the end of the day, we're
human. We might still feel jealous or sad or angry seeing our crush with someone else
so how do you manage? Well, I think the best thing that you can do is to find a healthy
way to express your feelings. That might mean taking up a skill like meditation and breathing
exercises so that when you are feeling agitated and annoyed you can breathe to help center
yourself and calm yourself down. Or it might mean exercising. Getting super swole, putting
on muscle, feeling good about the way that you look so that you can be more presentable
to anyone else that you approach. Or it might just mean finding a friend that you can open
up to. Someone you can share your feelings with and talk about. Having a person there
to support you is going to be crucial in these dark times where you're jealous and angry
and upset so find someone that you can talk to and share things with. Jealousy is definitely
something that takes time to work through so check out the video over here on the side
where I go deeper into how to manage your jealous feelings. This is definitely something
you can work on and take control of. Also, I wan to give a huge shout out to all my patrons
and YouTube channel members, these are the people that help support the channel every
single month so if you want to learn how you can talk to me one on one, check out the link
to Patreon down below. On that note guys, I'll catch you next time. As always, love
and peace.