T: I got arrested that day.
S: That's awesome!
You Posted That? *clap clap* Embarrassing things from your past. *clap clap*
Instagram, Twitter, but not Snapchat. You Posted That? *clap clap* *cheering*
S: Welcome to You Posted That?! And here's your beautiful host from Half Life 2, Ian Hecox!
I: Hello, everyone, and welcome to You Posted That?, the show where we force our guests to face their online pasts.
I: Speaking of which, let's meet our three lovely guests.
I: She's a Youtube and Instagram superstar who looks exactly the same as me in a swimsuit--Tana Mongeau!
T: Yes. I am a professional at taking my clothes off on Instagram. *whoo*
I: Me too.
I: Next: she's been on Youtube as long as Shane's been alive--Lisa Schwartz!
*cheering*
L: Forever connected.
I: How you doin?
L: I'm horrified right now. I'm horrified!
I: Good.
L: I'm terrified... and I'm so happy to be here!
I: And finally, he's the best and worst host in the history of the Streamy Awards--Jon Cozart!
*cheering*
J: Thank you.
I: Jon, I assume you are still continuing with the tradition of not posting anything on Youtube?
J: Yeah. I-I'm promoting right now, uh, feminism.
I: Oh!
S: Rock on!
J: So I'm here on behalf of all women. Thank you.
I: At the end, the winner of the game
I: Gets
S: This androgynous middle school basketball participation trophy.
*cheering*
S: Please don't throw it away on camera.
I: Alright, let's jump right in to round one! You Posted Thaaaaaat?
*cheering*
I: I'm going to present each of you with a tweet from your past that has one or more key words missing.
I: If you can fill in the blank, you get five points. Are you ready?
T: No!
I: Too bad!
I: Jon, you're first.
L: Yes!
J: Yas, queen.
I: Alright. On July 20, 2017, you tweeted the following:
I: "I love all my haters, especially blank."
J: 2017, I should remember that.
L: Your use of the 8 in "haters" was real cool, you're so hip!
J: Thank you!
T: Y'know why? It's his engagement's so high! 3.4k favorites?
*a chorus of wows and incoherent cheers*
J: Whoops! Um, I remember this, so I'm just not gonna pretend like I don't.
J: It says, "my dad," bitches.
I: Is it––wait is it "my dad, bitches" or just "my dad?"
J: (triggered) JUST "MY DAD", IT'S TWO WORDS!
I: Oh, okay, alright. Alright
I: Is it, "my dad?" Yes it is!
*cheering*
I: Well done.
*cheering*
I: Five points for you, sir! Well done.
T: Relatable.
S: *hahahaha*
I: Lisa
L: Oh
I: It's your turn.
L: Oh, I'm so scared.
I: On December 14, 2017, you tweeted, "I'm uncomfortably obsessed with @blank." It's a--it's a handle.
L: The problem is, I drink wine and then I tweet.
I: Ah.
S: Smart.
L: So chances of me remembering are slim to none.
L: Umm, Oprah Winfrey?
S: Good guess.
I: Is it Oprah Winfrey?
I: No! It's Cole Sprouse.
L: I should've known, I should've known. I am uncomfortably--I am so much older than him and I love him so much.
I: He is a sweetie.
L: He's over eighteen, right?
Someone: Yeah.
Someone else: No.
J: Yeah.
I: He--yeah.
S: I think so.
J: He's deceptively old.
*laughter*
L: Very attractive.
S: He's forty five!
*laughter*
I: Tana
T: Hi.
I: It's your turn.
T: Yay.
I: On April 22, 2017, you tweeted, "I'm a blank, bye."
I: That's one word.
T: Oh my God, I could fill this with so many things. Like, I automatically want to go to say, "assh*le", but I don't think it's "assh*le".
*laughter*
T: But I am an assh*le! Um. Wow, high engagement, go us!
J: Yas!
T: We all got the k, we all got the k, that's what matters.
I: K's good.
J: It--It's not "an" so it's not "an assh*le" (I: Ooh, ooh.), so you just, yeah you know it doesn't start with a vowel.
T: Oh, wow, oh, but I don't have good grammar. I dropped out of high school.
J: Oh, sh*t.
T: Umm, "rapper"?
I: Alright, is it "rapper"? No, it's "psychic"!
L: Clearly (I: Hey.) she's not.
I: Yeah, if you were psychic, wouldn't you be able to...
S: Not psychic.
T: I guess we disproved the psychic theory, right?
I: Yeah, I think so.
T: Once and for all.
I: Jon, it's back to you. On February 9, 2018, you tweeted:
I: "I'm beginning to think my mom doesn't understand what blank means or maybe I don't understand what blank means and am horrified for no reason?"
I: And it's two words, but it's the same two words both times.
J: Uh, it's so long! Why would they, why would they make tweets longer? This sucks. Umm...
I: This was after, this was after the 140 expansion.
J: Umm, I don't know! Any ideas, ladies?
T: "Cryptocurrency."
J: "Cryptocurrency!"
T: "Uber drivers."
Someone: Is that one of them?
J: These are great, oh my gosh!
I: Do you just wanna play for him?
J: Yeah!
I: Since you're a psychic, maybe you can guess...
T: Exactly.
I: Is it "cryptocurrency", even though I'm pretty sure that's one word?
I: No, it's "double fisting"!
*cheering laughter*
I: It's close, it's close.
J: Aah.
L: Even better.
J: God bless.
I: I'm sorry, you get no points for that.
I: Did you talk about that with your mom?
J: My mom had--yeah.
I: Alright. Well, let's move on.
S: Awesome.
I: Lisa?
L: Yes. My mom knows what double fisting is.
I: Oh, super. Well, then you're gonna be prepared for this one.
L: Okay.
I: Uh, on March 3, 2017, you tweeted:
I: "Blank blank. Keeping me humble since 1990."
L: I hate myself. Umm...
I: Don't look to them, they--
L: Psychic!
T: Exactly.
L: Oh, I'm sure it's something very clever.
L: Umm, I have no idea.
I: "Cryptocurrency" maybe?
L: Yeah, probably.
I: Would you like to guess (L: Yeah) "cryptocurrency"?
L: Yeah, say that.
I: Did she say, "cryptocurrency"?
I: No!
L: Oh, awful. (I: Lip pimples.) A lip--they happen sometimes and you just have to accept it.
I: Well, I'll give you, I'll give you some applause for...
L: It happens, I'm just being honest!
L: Not my finest moment.
J: How old were you in 1990?
L: Are we really gonna have this conversation?
I: You can't ask a woman that!
J: Alright, I'm sorry.
I: Mr. "Feminism"
J: Feminism!
I: Alright. Tana, on to you.
T: Hello.
I: On October 10, 2016
T: Oh, we're goin back.
I: Oh yeah, we're goin back
T: I was like four years old then
I: You tweeted, "Blank blank is all I want ever".
T: I can't tell if it's going to be like a person or a food item. That's the problem.