Hello, and welcome to Arkham Asylum!
The purpose of this tape is to prepare you for your role as a psychiatrist, and equip
you with tools to help our patients here.
As part of our psychiatry staff, you get to take part in the healing process of our patients.
By doing this, you are helping our patients to slowly begin the process of re-entering
society.
Before you begin aiding in the rehabilitation of our patients, we find it very important
to give you an idea of what kinds of patients you’ll encounter.
KELLERMAN: Date is October 20th, 1992.
This is Dr. Stephen Kellerman interviewing Arkham Asylum patient number 42540, otherwise
known as the Joker.
Patient has no other known alias.
JOKER: Don’t need an alias when you have a winning smile, eh doc?
KELLERMAN: Very funny.
So, Joker, let’s talk about what we started to cover in our last session.
Tell me more about your childhood pet.
JOKER: Ah yes, Chuckles, my goldfish!
Ironically, quite a sad tale.
You see, when I was a mere five years old, I was gifted him by Aunt Susie.
She was quite the pompous windbag, but boy could she make a whoopee cushion sing! [laughs]
KELLERMAN: Please, Joker, try to take this seriously.
JOKER: I’m serious.
Dead serious.
KELLERMAN: …Apologies.
Please continue.
JOKER: As I was saying, Aunt Susie bought me Chuckles.
That goldfish and I were the best of friends.
I took care of him, fed him, and practiced my jokes on him.
We were best buds!
Then one day, he was there, just… floating on his back.
KELLERMAN: And how did that make you feel?
JOKER: Well…
I can’t remember honestly.
[chuckles] What I do remember was going to tell my parents and seeing my mother push
Aunt Susie down the stairs.
How’s that for sibling rivalry?
[maniacal laughter]
KELLERMAN: That’s… horrible.
I’m very sorry to hear that.
JOKER: You’re not sorry.
Not nearly sorry.
Yet.
KELLERMAN: What exactly do you mean by that?
JOKER: I MEAN that you’ve very trustingly believed everything I’ve said to you tonight.
KELLERMAN: Well, we’re only human, Joker.
I’m merely trying to extend a hand by listening.
We all need to feel heard sometimes.
JOKER: Wrong.
KELLERMAN: What’s wrong?
JOKER: That we’re only human.
You may be, but you just like to assume that everyone is like you, deep down, doctor.
KELLERMAN: Are you saying you’re not human?
JOKER: [Laughter that grows in intensity until the recording cuts off]
JOKER: I know you’re in there, doctor. Come out.
JOKER:What makes you laugh, Stephen?
[Laughter and screaming]