>>HEY. WELCOME TO TEDDY'S STORY JOINT.
CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER? >>ACTUALLY, I JUST GOT HIRED.
>>OH, YOU MUST BE WHITNEY. >>YEAH.
>>HERE, COME ON BACK. I'LL SHOW YOU AROUND.
>>OKAY. >>ALL RIGHT, SO THE WAY THIS PLACE WORKS IS,
ANYONE WRITING A BOOK, YOU KNOW, FOR A NOVEL, MOVIE,
TV SHOW-- >>RIGHT. >>THEY COME IN HERE AND WE SELL THEM PLOTS
AND CHARACTERS, YOU KNOW?
ANYTHING THEY COULD WANT. >>SHOULDN'T THEY BE WRITING THOSE THEMSELVES?
>>[LAUGHTER] YOU'RE CUTE. HEY JANE AUSTEN.
HOW ARE YOU? SHE'S A REGULAR.
>>I'D LIKE A PLOT TODAY, THE USUAL. >>ALL RIGHT.
>>UH, WHAT'S THE USUAL? >>GIRL LIKES A GUY, LOOKS LIKE SHE
WON'T GET THE GUY, BUT THEN SHE DOES. WITH THE WITTY SOCIAL CRITIQUE ON THE SIDE.
>>YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE IT. >>ALL RIGHT.
ORDER UP. >>ALL SINGLE WOMEN THANK YOU.
>>WAIT, SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT SHE USES THE SAME PLOT IN EVERY BOOK?
>>EVERY BOOK, YEAH. >>WELL, THAT'S WRONG.
>>HEY GEORGE LUCAS, J.K. ROWLING. >>HOW ARE YOU?
>>HI, TEDDY. I'D LIKE A PROTAGONIST.
WHITE, TEENAGE MALE, EVERYONE CALLS HIM THE CHOSEN ONE.
>>OH. I'LL HAVE WHAT HE'S HAVING.
>>AND HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THEM COOKED? >>UH, LET'S GO WITH NEVER KNEW HIS PARENTS,
RAISED BY HIS AUNT AND UNCLE, TRAINED BY A WISE OLD MAN.
>>YES, I WANT IT. >>ANYTHING ON THE SIDE?
>>OH HOW ABOUT, POSSESSES POWERS HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT.
GREAT AT FLYING, SUPER WHINY. >>MHM.
I WILL GET THE SAME THANK YOU. >>ANYTHING ELSE?
>>NO. >>OKAY.
>>UH, YES. CAN I GET A SMALL ORDINARY OBJECT WITH THE
DARK LORD'S SOUL INSIDE IT?
>>OH, ACTUALLY WE JUST SOLD OUR LAST ONE TO MR. TOLKIEN.
>>UGH, MUGGLES. >>GREAT.
NOW TWO HUGE SAGAS ARE GOING TO HAVE THE EXACT SAME MAIN CHARACTERS.
>>UH, HARRY WEARS GLASSES. THANK YOU.
>>YOU KNOW WHITNEY YOU REMIND ME OF OUR OTHER EMPLOYEE MATT.
HE USED TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE WORK TOO, BUT NOW-- >>HEY BOSS,
THE NEW BATCH OF CHARACTERS CAME IN REAL BLAND. >>JUST SAVE IT FOR THE NEW TWILIGHT BOOK.
>>YOU GOT IT. >>OKAY, I REFUSE TO BE A PART OF A COMPANY
THAT PLAGIARIZES. >>WHOA, WE DO NOT PLAGIARIZE.
>>UM, I'M WRITING THE LIFE OF PI AND I'D LIKE TO GET A
MAN WHO BEFRIENDS A TIGER AND NO ONE BELIEVES HIM.
>>MATT, HEAT UP CALVIN AND HOBBES . >>COMING UP!
>>OKAY. REALLY?
>>YOU KNOW WHITNEY, YOU NEED TO GET OFF OF YOUR HIGH HORSE OKAY?
I MEAN TAKE EARNEST HEMINGWAY HERE. WITHOUT OUR HELP, HE'D STILL BE ON THE STREETS.
>>HEY, UH, HEY TED. I'M A LITTLE SHORT ON CHANGE.
COULD I GET SOME CHEAP CHARACTERS? >>ALL RIGHT, THAT WILL BUY YOU AN OLD
MAN AND BECAUSE I LIKE YOU, I'LL THROW IN THE SEA.
THERE YOU GO. >>THIS IS GOING TO BE SO BORING.
>>ALL THOSE POOR HIGH-SCHOOLERS. >>YOU SEE ALL THE GOOD WE DO?
NOT TO MENTION THE HELP WE GIVE THE FILM INDUSTRY. >>HEY, TEDDY!
>>HEY MISTER BRUCKHEIMER! HOW ARE YOU?
>>GOING TO GET A REFILL ON PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN.
>>AGAIN? YOU KNOW THEY GET MORE WATERED DOWN AFTER
EACH ONE. >>YEAH, I DON'T CARE.
>>WHOA, WHOA. DON'T SHAKE IT UP TOO MUCH.
I WANT IT TO TASTE EXACTLY LIKE THE FIRST FOUR.
>>HEY BOSS, WE JUST HAD A BIG GREASE FIRE EXPLOSION IN THE KITCHEN.
>>GIVE IT TO MICHAEL BAY. >>YEP.
>>OKAY, TEDDY, THIS HAS GOT TO STOP. STORY TELLING IS BASED ON ARTISTIC INTEGRITY.
YOU HAVE TO SHUT THIS PLACE DOWN. >>WHOA, WE SHUT THIS PLACE DOWN AND THE WHOLE
NATION CRUMBLES. YOUR POLITICIANS NEED US.
>>WHAT? >>HEY MR. SENATOR.
>>TEDDY, HOW ARE YOU? >>I'M DOING GOOD.
>>OKAY, SO LOOK HERE WE HAVE THREE EMBEZZLEMENTS, TWO SCANDALS, A DEBT CRISIS,
AND WHOLE LOT OF CAMPAIGN CORRUPTION. SO WE'RE GOING TO NEED A LOT OF REALLY GREAT
STORIES TO GO. >>OKAY.
THERE YOU GO. >>AH.
SMELLS BELIEVABLE. LET'S GO.