Welcome, I’m Brad Browning, breakup coach and best-selling author… and in this video,
I’ll be sharing 6 key tips to get your ex to forgive you.
Obviously, this is especially important and relevant if you’re hoping to get back together
and get a second chance… but these tips will work in pretty much any situation.
Unfortunately, we have to start with the bad news: there’s no magic quick fix that will
guarantee your ex will forgive you for whatever you’ve done, or suddenly wipe their memory.
By applying all 6 of the tips I’ll be covering shortly, you’ll be maximizing your chances
of finding forgiveness with your ex… but, it may take time.
In some cases, it could take months or even years… especially if you did something truly
horrible to your ex, like cheating on them with their best friend.
So, you do have to be realistic.
That said, there are things you can do to improve your chances of getting your ex to
forgive you… and begin to regret breaking up in the first place.
Before we jump into the first tip, a quick reminder about my free quiz… if you want
to know what the odds of getting your ex back are, go to BreakupBrad.com/Quiz and take 3
minutes to complete the quiz and see what your chances are.
Now, on to the first tip, which is something incredibly obvious…
#1 - Issue a genuine, heartfelt apology.
This one is a no-brainer, but not every apology is created equal.
Ideally, you want to do this in person if you can.
If you can’t say sorry in person, that’s OK, but just make sure you find a way to make
a truly heartfelt and genuine apology where you show him or her how terrible you feel
about what happened and how sorry you really are.
Don’t fake it, don’t be overly emotional or fabricate tears or anything like that…
just look them in the eyes and say how truly sorry you are.
If you’ve already done that, good job.
In many cases, you don’t need to do it again… one apology is often best, which brings us
to tip #2.
#2 - Apologize once or twice at most.
Sure, it’s OK to say sorry 3 or 4 times over the course of a few weeks if you really
did something seriously dumb that you’re now deeply regretting… that’s only natural,
especially when you feel so guilty about it.
But if you keep pleading and issuing apology after apology, you’re going to do two things:
1) you’ll look like you’re too desperate and broken without your ex… you look like
you’re a shattered person that can’t function until your ex accepts your apologies, and
that’s not going to help you get them back.
2) you’ll actually detract from the sincerity of your initial apology.
If you keep saying sorry over and over again, your ex will get irritated and it will actually
have the opposite effect…
so just go with one or two really heartfelt and sincere apologies, and leave it there.
#3 - Explain what you learned from your mistakes and make it clear you know it wasn’t acceptable.
Even if you’re not together anymore, when you issue that heartfelt apology we just talked
about, you will also want to mention that you’ve realized how idiotic your behaviour
was, how you’ve grown as a person from this whole experience, and most importantly…
make it clear that you’ll never, ever do it again.
And then actually live up to that promise as much as possible.
#4 - If your ex asks for details, answer their questions as needed.
Alright, this one is really common when the mistake you’re apologizing for is related
to cheated… if you were unfaithful to your ex, chances are they’re going to ask questions
and demand more information about who you were with, what happened, why you did it,
etc...
Which sucks, because you don’t really WANT to reveal all that stuff if you can avoid
it… but if pushed, you really do need to briefly answer their questions in an honest
way, making sure your answer gives off an undertone of regret.
Don’t lie, but if you can answer honestly without having to divulge the most graphic
details, that’s usually wise… but if they demand details, give brief and to-the-point
answers until you feel the important parts have been covered, or until they seem satisfied
with your explanations.
#5 - Back off and give your ex space.
Unfortunately I can’t really give you a clear strategy when it comes to how much time
and space to give your ex after you’ve apologized, because it really depends on how bad your
sins were, it depends on your ex’s personality, and it depends on how well you’ve handled
things since the breakup or whatever you’re apologizing for.
But the simple fact is this: if your ex says they don’t want to talk to you at all, you
need to respect that.
At least for a while.
Don’t try to hang around after you apologize and make small talk, don’t try to act like
everything is back to normal if your ex is still furious… let them have some time alone
to cool down, let the memories fade a bit, and then you can begin re-building things
from once emotions have settled down a bit.
Now before we move on to the final tip, I want to warn you about something important:
you can’t get angry or defensive with your ex.
If you get defensive and you expect your apology and your promise not to repeat your mistakes
will immediately make your ex forgive and forget… that’s often just not realistic.
You screwed up, at least your ex certainly thinks you did, and you can’t get upset
if they don’t forgive you as quickly as you might like.
Accept that your ex may need time before they can move on and forgive you.
If you need help figuring out when it’s OK to contact your ex again, or help determining
what your best course of action should be to maximize your chances of getting them back…
go to BreakupBrad.com/Coaching and sign up to work with me 1-on-1 so I can learn about
your specific situation and we can come up with a plan together.
I’ll put that link in the description below.
Now, finally….
#6 - Get on with your life!
I know your natural reaction to this kind of situation is to sit around staring at your
phone, hoping your ex will text you and accept your apology… but that is absolutely not
how you should handle things.
You need to power through this tough stretch and keep yourself as busy as possible, especially
in terms of your social life.
Go out with friends, re-connect with family and make new friends….
Do anything but think about your ex and that whole situation, because you’re now at the
point where there’s nothing more to be done.
So use the time productively, and grab life by the balls, so to speak.
Alright, that’s 6 keys to helping your ex forgive and forget…
I really hope you can use these tips and get back in your ex’s good books again so that
you can start over with them.
Please don’t forget to like this video and subscribe to my channel, it takes 2 seconds
and it really helps me out.
Thanks for watching, and I’ll talk to you guys in the comments below…
bye for now.