-Alright, thank you so much.
I got five seconds. Thank you.
[ Laughter ] Wow, man, this is great. This is so cool.
I'm on "The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon."
This is so cool. This is my first late night,
you know, thing and I'm really excited for it
because I hope people recognize me.
[ Cheering and applause ] I like that, man. That's cool.
I just, you know, I love -- I love when people recognize.
People think they're bothering me when they recognize me.
They're like, "Hey, Preacher, I don't mean to bother you,
but can I get a picture?" Then I got to play it off
like I don't need it for my self-esteem, right?
[ Laughter ] "Alright, fine. I got you."
[ Laughter and applause ]
That's what I do on the outside.
On the inside, I'm like, "Oh, my God!"
[ Laughter and applause ] I love it.
I just, I hate when people
recognize me and say weird things.
Like some people come up to me, they're like,
"You look big on TV."
[ Laughter ] Okay.
You got a big TV, then.
[ Laughter and applause ]
I don't know what to tell you. I'm sorry you
catfished yourself, bruh.
[ Laughter ] Like I'm not even short.
I'm 5'11", right? [ Laughter ]
Like actually. Like I'm not Tinder 5'11"
and you meet me in person, I'm like, "Hey, baby,
how you doing, girl? Hey.
[ Laughter and applause ] Let me get that door for you.
Let me get that, you know."
[ Laughter ] You know?
It says I'm 5'9" online.
I Googled me. It said I'm 5'9", right?
No, I'm not, bro, okay? I'm a man. I need my inches.
So I talked to my manager.
I was like, "Yo, bro, you got to fix that."
He's like, "I wouldn't worry about that."
Of course you wouldn't, you 6'2" idiot.
You already made it, okay?
I don't know who did that, but when I see you, bro,
I'mma high-five your face, bro.
I swear to pop.
Alright? I've been training some MMA, you know?
I've been doing UFC. See some people call it UFC.
"You do UFC?"
Like, UFC is the organization.
MMA, mixed martial arts, is the sport.
That's like saying, "You do NBA? You do Golden State Warrior?"
It's basketball, you know?
So, I've been training a few years.
I started training on my ex-girlfriend's birthday
because I was like, "Wow, I really miss her."
And I was like, "What if she has a boyfriend?"
And that's all I needed.
So I was like, "Time to learn how to fight."
So I went to this MMA gym called Uprise in L.A.
It was great.
I start hitting, like, heavy bags.
I was doing, like, mitts and stuff.
And then my coach, Pete -- he was like,
"Hey, man, you move around pretty good.
Why don't you come to one of these sparring sessions,
do some light fighting?"
And I was like, "Well, I'll do some light fighting, bro.
All you do is twist, right? I got it, man."
So I went to a sparing session and I brought a Tinder date
to the sparring session.
And -- Yeah, I know now.
And the first person I sparred, he was like 6'19".
[ Laughter ] He was three people bigger than me.
He had tattoos. I don't know if y'all know this,
but tattoos make you stronger.
[ Laughter ] And...
I didn't realize he used to date the girl
that I brought on the Tinder date.
They were engaged. They had children together.
I don't know if any of that's true,
but he was hitting me like that, okay?
[ Laughing ]
This man kicked me.
He kicked me in the stomach so hard, I hit the Kaepernick.
I was like, "Ooh, Black Lives Matter.
You don't understand what we go through."
[ Applause ]
He was Black, too.
I was like, "You gonna do your brother like this?"
So, but I kept training, I kept training,
and I feel good.
And so I was like, you know what?
I'm gonna do an actual MMA match, right?
So I did my first one in January,
so that was pretty cool.
People are like, "That's weird that you do MMA.
You don't seem violent."
And I'm not. Like, I'm ticklish, you know?
Like, if I'm ever choking you, goochie goochie goo.
You out. I got to let you go. I can't, you know?
I listen to R&B music when I'm working out, you know?
My walk-out song to my match
was "Strawberry Kisses" by Amber-Simone.
You know what I mean?
And my opponent, he came out to "I'mma kill you, die" music.
Like, I don't even remember the song,
but I remember walking out and I was like,
I was having a lot of fun.
I was like, I was loose and I wasn't nervous at all, man.
My friends and family members were there and I was like,
It's going to be great.
And I looked across the cage and I see him and I'm like,
"Wow, he look... he way bigger than I remember."
And I was like, "Is that a tattoo?"
And then the bell rang and we came out and I was like,
"Let's go," and I hit him with, like, three punches.
I was like, pop, pop, pop.
And I was like, oh, snap.
Maybe I'm a bad person, because I liked it.
So I threw a bunch of punches, but I forgot to breathe.
When you watching fighters, they breathe.
Ha-ha-ha!
And I was like --
[ Laughing ]
Right? Right?
So imagine swinging as hard as you can underwater.
And then as soon as you get above water,
someone tackles you, 'cause that's what he did.
I was down! He's tackling me!
Is he on my back? Is he choking me?
[ Strained ] Yep! He choking me.
And I look across the cage and I see my brother.
He goes, "Ehh," and I'm like...
What does that mean?
My friend was recording.
He's like, slowly putting his phone down.
Like, "I don't know this dude."
I hear my mom yell out,
"Get off my baby!"
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
I was like, I think I'm losing right now.
My name is Preacher Lawson. Thank you so much.
I love you. Thank you.