- WE'RE GONNA DO A HOLIDAY--
ALL THE CLUES THAT YOU'LL GUESS,
I'LL GIVE YOU THE CLUES
AND THEY'LL ALL HAVE HOLIDAY-THEMED THINGS.
- OKAY. - OKAY?
SO JUST HOLD IT. - SO I HOLD IT--
- HOLD IT BY YOUR HEAD,
AND THEN BUT JUST FLIP IT-- IT'S--IT--
YOU NEED TO START IT. [jingle plays]
- WHAT'S THAT? - NO, IT'S NOT--
- OKAY. - LIKE--
LIKE, FLIP IT--NO.
OKAY, GOOD. - LIKE THAT.
- RIGHT, BUT START IT-- - SO YOU CAN SEE IT.
- YES.
[jingle plays] ALL RIGHT.
- SOR-- - DO IT.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'VE PLAYED THIS BEFORE, RIGHT?
- BA-LOO!
[laughter]
- ALL RIGHT, SO JUST-- JUST DO IT--
- HOW FAST DO I NEED TO DO IT?
- DO IT AS FAST AS YOU CAN, I THINK.
[smack] - OW!
GOD.
OW. - OH, GOD.
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT, RIGHT?
- OH. - NO, YOU'RE KIDDING.
- OH, OH. - OH, GOD.
NOT ON THE WHITE CHAIRS.
DON'T-- NOT ON THE WHITE CHAIRS.
[holiday music plays]
[cheers and applause]
- I HAVE A BLOODY NOSE.
- [singing] IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR.
- DING-DONG, DING-DONG.
- WITH THE KIDS JINGLE BELLING
AND EVERYONE TELLING YOU, "BE OF GOOD CHEER."
IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME
OF THE YEAR.
- THIS OUR MASCOT THIS YEAR.
THAT'S DANCER, ONE OF SANTA'S REINDEERS.
AND HE'S GONNA DO A NEW DANCE EVERY SINGLE--
WHAT'S YOUR FIRST DANCE THIS DAY?
- [singing] SHE'S A MANIAC,
MANIAC ON THE FLOOR.
AND SHE'S DANCING LIKE SHE'S NEVER DANCED BEFORE.
SHE'S A MANIAC,
MANIAC ON THE FLOOR.
AND SHE'S DANCING LIKE SHE'S NEVER...
- OH, ALL RIGHT.
[cheers and applause]
OKAY, TO KICK OFF OUR 12 DAYS,
I AM GONNA TAKE CARE OF EVERYONE ON YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING LIST.
YOU KNOW VISA, RIGHT? EVERYBODY'S HEARD OF VISA.
[cheers and applause]
THIS YEAR WE'RE THRILLED TO ANNOUNCE
THAT WE'RE PARTNERING WITH THEIR NEW SERVICE,
VISA CHECKOUT,
WHICH IS A GREAT WAY TO SHOP ONLINE.
AND TO GET US STARTED, THEY WANT TO MAKE
YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING A LITTLE EASIER
WITH THIS $250 VISA GIFT CARD.
[wild cheering]
RECENTLY I WAS THRILLED TO ANNOUNCE
MY VERY OWN HOLIDAY HOME GOODS LINE.
IT'S CALLED ED ON AIR,
AND IT IS AVAILABLE EXCLUSIVELY AT QVC,
WHICH CARRIES EVERYTHING YOU NEED
ON YOUR SHOPPING LIST.
YOU CAN GET EVERYTHING FROM THESE CANDLES
THAT LAST A LONG TIME AND SMELL VERY, VERY GOOD.
[cheers and applause]
AND THERE'S A--
I HAVE ALL KINDS OF LITTLE HOLIDAY CARDS.
"ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS EWE."
AND IT'S A LITTLE SHEEP.
AND ALL KINDS OF DIFFERENT THINGS.
AND THERE'S PLATES THAT SAY,
"I CAN'T BEAR TO BE WITHOUT YOU."
AND, UH--
AND "OWL ALWAYS LOVE YOU."
CUTE LITTLE THINGS LIKE--
ANYWAY, THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF.
AND THERE'S TABLEWARE.
THERE'S ADORABLE PJs AND A ROBE.
LAUREN, COME MODEL THE PJs AND ROBE.
THEY'RE REALLY, REALLY CUTE.
[cheers and applause]
THEY'RE CUTE, RIGHT?
IT'S EARLY IN THE MORNING.
EARLY.
TOO EARLY FOR THAT.
[cheers and applause]
ALL RIGHT.
ANYWAY, ALL OF MY ITEMS, ED ON AIR,
ARE AVAILABLE ON QVC.
IT'S TOO EARLY TO BE DRINKING,
BUT YOU CAN BUY THEM ON QVC
WITH YOUR $350 QVC GIFT CARD.
[wild cheering]
IT'S TOO EARLY.
OUR NEXT ITEM IS FROM A FREE MOBILE APP
CALLED GYFT, SPELLED G-Y-F-T.
MY NAME IS ALSO SPELLED WITH A SILENT "Y,"
BUT THAT'S UNIMPORTANT.
GYFT LETS YOU UPLOAD AND STORE YOUR GIFT CARDS ON YOUR PHONE
AND INSTANTLY BUY AND SEND CARDS TO ANYONE YOU WANT.
YOU CAN CHOOSE FROM OVER 200 RETAILERS,
LIKE TARGET AND WHOLE FOODS,
WITH THIS 250 GIFT CARD.
[wild cheering]
AND FOR OUR VIEWERS AT HOME,
THE FIRST 500 PEOPLE TO DOWNLOAD THE APP
WILL GET A FREE $25 GIFT CARD.
NOW, IF--
[cheers and applause]
IF YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE ANIMALS,
AND THERE'S ONE STORE THAT LOVES YOUR PETS
AS MUCH AS I DO.
THIS SEASON, PETCO WANTS YOU
TO SHOW YOUR ANIMALS HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM
WITH TREATS AND FOOD AND TOYS AND SERVICES.
AND YOU'RE ALL GONNA GET A $350 PETCO GIFT CARD.
[wild cheering]
FINALLY, THE HOME DEPOT IS ONE-STOP DESTINATION
FOR ALL YOUR HARDWARE NEEDS.
YOU HAVE THIS TOP-OF-THE-LINE BRANDS,
LIKE RYOBI, WHICH MAKES THE BEST TOOLS ON THE MARKET.
AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND A MORE POWERFUL...
[groans]
DRILL THAN THIS ONE.
IT'S 18-VOLT CORDLESS DRILL,
WHICH IS HALF THE WEIGHT AND GOES FOUR TIMES LONGER
THAN ANY OTHER DRILL.
AND LUTRON LIGHTING AND WINK HAVE MADE--
THEY HAVE COME TOGETHER TO MAKE
THE BEST SMART HOME SYSTEM IN THE WORLD,
WHERE YOU CAN CONTROL EVERYTHING FROM YOUR LIGHTS
TO YOUR LOCKS, TO YOUR GARAGE DOOR,
ALL FROM YOUR PHONE OR TABLET.
AND NOT ONLY ARE YOU GONNA GET THIS $300 PACKAGE,
YOU'RE ALSO GONNA GET A $500 HOME DEPOT GIFT CARD.
[cheers and applause]
THIS YEAR, WE'RE PARTNERING WITH VISA CHECKOUT,
WHICH IS A GREAT NEW WAY TO SHOP ONLINE.
LAUREN IS GONNA DEMONSTRATE HOW EASY IT IS TO USE.
THERE SHE IS.
SHE'S ON HER iPAD.
SHE'S SHOPPING AT OLD NAVY, GAP, AND BANANA REPUBLIC.
HER HANDS ARE FULL WITH HER THREE BABIES,
ALL FROM DIFFERENT-- DIFFERENT BABY DADDIES.
BUT WITH VISA CHECKOUT,
SHE CAN BREEZE THROUGH HER SHOPPING
BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO FILL OUT ENDLESS FORMS
WITH ADDRESSES, ZIP CODES, OR EXPIRATION DATES.
YOU JUST SIGN UP ONCE,
AND IT'LL WORK ON ALL YOUR DEVICES
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE.
LIKE, DID I MENTION LAUREN IS IN A SNOWSTORM?
[laughter]
[cheers and applause]
YEP, SNOWSTORM.
AND IT'S VERY WINDY.
[loud burst of air]
- OH!
- ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LOOK FOR THE VISA CHECKOUT BUTTON
WHEREVER YOU SHOP ONLINE,
AND IT'LL SAVE YOU SO MUCH TIME.
IN FACT, LAUREN'S PURCHASE IS ALREADY HERE.
[cheers and applause]
- AHH!
[laughter]
- AND THANKS TO VISA CHECKOUT--
THANKS TO VISA CHECKOUT AND THE GAP BRAND,
YOU'RE ALL GETTING A THOUSAND DOLLARS TO SHOP
IN ALL OF THEIR STORES.
- [singing] IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR.
WITH THE KIDS JINGLE BELLING
AND EVERYONE TELLING YOU, "BE OF GOOD CHEER."
IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME...