[Music]
was announced that China's number one
television show return of the Pearl
Princess is being dubbed into English
for American audiences this show is
about The Adventures of a Chinese
princess in the year 1759 during the
Qing Dynasty and it is beloved in China
okay they just love this show well for
some reason the producers of the return
of the Pro princess asked Andy and I to
be the English voices that they dub in
for American audiences
[Applause]
they just heard that like oh these are
big guys in America they're a big deal
they should do it they didn't do their
research clearly the offer came in and
we had to say yes so the other day we
Andy and I went over to a production
studio in North Hollywood this all
really happened and well here's the deal
check it out hey Andy and I are here at
bang zoom studios and we're here for a
very special project this is brand all
right you have the number-one show in
China yep
you've come to America and you're
letting us be the voices the English
voices of the show this is a terrible
mistake
I'm warning you just so you know we were
honest upfront your career is through
let's go and destroy the most beloved
show in China shall we could you tell us
basically what we're doing okay
basically we are gonna take this Chinese
dialogue and we're going to dub it into
English
you said episode 22 episode 22 and it'll
say scene 1 I think we have our
motivation I think we understand and I
think we're ready to go
yeah I just see yeah
who told you to investigate sparrow
what an pervert when did I tell you to
interrogate I talking too slowly
majority I'm not catching up in a
document I lost on the page I'm lost now
you say just say a eunuch now I said we
got a little behind
I won't know won't that happen again all
right and I hope brands okay with this
but this script is fine but Andy and I
are professionals and we'd like to add a
little spice this go-around why are you
wearing the Royal bath towel take it up
wear this top by who not me not me at
all I was told by the ladies of the view
which one was it funny than the other
would be funny
no please never been funny don't you
talk to me that way
that's just a better scene take off your
mask
now listen to me when the prince is
speaking you will remain silent is that
understood now which one of you took the
magic corncob I got this knife online
coach on the knife now George won later
I want to see the knife - I want to see
whatever cutlery you have you will see
no cutlery
alright I fine I won't see any cutlery
and I will show you the knob on the top
of my head you will get to touch it
either I must see the knob on your hat
when its moist in the air and I haven't
had any Tylenol I best find tylenol you
see very quickly hit the purple hooligan
wait there's a purple hooligan
well that was fun you ready to give up
that or do you want more makes delicious
little dose ooh they're high in salt
don't they understand what I just saw
there's a tough guy on the ground the
purple the purple hooligan and the good
guy to shut him up kicks a dumpling into
his mouth in the Wild West
they used six-shooters in you know the
Ching dynasty they used UMP loose I
think they are afraid because they're so
high in Saudia that's why it's like dude
there's no dipping sauce right we're in
the Emperor's quarters and we'll give
you a preview good that hot kiss no no
oh then we start again I'm trying to get
in the mood all right there was some
sexy action shot oh damn it I'm trying
to get into the mind of a Tibetan
chieftain no oh you've got a hobbit door
hey sorry I changed her mind
yes she wants you know to no longer
marry air King now she wants to marry
air Thai hmm classic Tibetan fickleness
told you it to be the other way you talk
for too long and now I'm in a pickle you
see because if you're talking too long
let's go get pickles
[Music]
maybe hard this is not an easy one you
know just as well as I do there are so
many misunderstandings and so many
problems yes yes it's true it's true
what you say but I didn't rehearse this
part and now I'm just filling in and now
yes yes I know what we can do no I do it
we can go to Ikea we can build as you
like lingonberries a lot of a
traditional Chinese dish but
lingonberries they're delicious
like cranberries in fact I think they
just are cranberries has a name you sake
like a madman when I said we'd go to a
key I meant to buy furniture you're
talking about lingonberries that's
insanity
there's meatballs - it doesn't just have
to be lingonberries now I'm talking off
camera I can say whatever I want
Oh
look let's just get out of here and go
to Ikea like you said wait a minute
that's crazy
we don't have money to buy something
IKEA they don't take Chinese currency
wait a minute I've got one more thing to
say I think it's important for you to
stop making though exist while I'm
talking to you
that's rude keep saying those things
it's noise you're making
well I'm trade his speech her madness no
it is it I love you brand what did you
think of the work that Andy and I did
today did you enjoy it yeah I was just
informed minutes ago by the United
States Treasury that got it but that by
us doing this show for you today we have
erased America's debt financial debts in
China completely erased and Andy and I
are being awarded congressional medals
so thank you
[Applause]